News:

PD.com: Like a fraternity of drunken clowns, hopped up on goofballs, beating one-another to a bloody pulp with bricks; the maniacal laughter increases exponentially as someone runs off to get a cinder-block.

Main Menu

Familiar (feedback desired)

Started by Placid Dingo, July 25, 2012, 03:06:20 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Placid Dingo

Nil
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Placid Dingo

#1
Nil
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Juana

Hmm, interesting. When I get home, I'll go through and suggested some edits, but I'd like to see you keep going until then if you have the material.
"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Placid Dingo

Quote from: Secret Agent GARBO on July 31, 2012, 04:57:28 PM
Hmm, interesting. When I get home, I'll go through and suggested some edits, but I'd like to see you keep going until then if you have the material.

Thanks. The quality of the writing is sketchy at best right now but I'm open to any feedback.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Moe_Hill

You don't know me, but I'm enjoying this, it's very captivating. I think people will have no problem relating to this near-future. The theme of the setting feels important and relevant. Maybe the first two paragraphs could do with a make-over, they seem to me to be of a lower order of quality than the rest of it. I'd like to read more

Placid Dingo

Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

I haven't really had time to read it, but at some point I will.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Placid Dingo

#7
Nil
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.