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Open Bar: We hacked the DNC and all we got are these lousy emails

Started by Eater of Clowns, August 11, 2016, 12:11:01 AM

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Cain

I did pretty much the opposite.  I never showed up to class, but spent all my time in the library or using the online resources, and got everything handed in.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Junkenstein on October 17, 2016, 04:21:15 PM
QuoteWhy do they show up when they have apparently ALREADY committed to failing the class? It's a mystery.

Please inform them of this in your usual delicate way. Please also ensure someone is nearby with a camera to capture the reactions. I'm guessing a mix of anger and denial depending on how smart they are.

I'm starting to understand why your colleges are talked about as adult daycare though.

These people are supposed to want to be SCIENTISTS.

There are maybe ten of them out of 40-ish students who, from what I've seen so far, could potentially be scientists. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be super smart, and being super smart won't help you if you don't have the two qualities that DO make a good scientist; one is being observant to detail, and the other is being able to FOLLOW FUCKING DIRECTIONS. This weekend I fucking did a three-day assay that is super-sensitive and requires following about 40 steps to the absolute fucking letter, down to the second, with microliter-level precision. I barely know what the fuck I'm doing but I can fucking read and FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. Most of my students, apparently, cannot.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

OH WAIT IT WAS NANOLITER PRECISION. BECAUSE SHIT MATTERS.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Cain on October 18, 2016, 03:07:57 AM
I did pretty much the opposite.  I never showed up to class, but spent all my time in the library or using the online resources, and got everything handed in.

That is a completely viable strategy, because it involves LEARNING THE MATERIAL and FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS FOR ASSIGNMENTS. It doesn't work that well in a lab section, but for lecture? Sure!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Also, week 4 of grad school: FUCK THIS.

I am in a baaaad mood today.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

My students were supposed to insert a graph into their lab report, which is to be submitted as a PDF. A solid dozen of them just sent me the Excel file because apparently they couldn't figure out how to copy and paste the graph. NOPE, ASSHOLES. FUCK THAT.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Trivial

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 18, 2016, 04:43:18 AM
OH WAIT IT WAS NANOLITER PRECISION. BECAUSE SHIT MATTERS.

Nanoliter precision is the reason why I went engineering and not science.

Threaten them with engineering maybe?
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Suu

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 18, 2016, 04:45:01 AM
Also, week 4 of grad school: FUCK THIS.

I am in a baaaad mood today.

My students were fucking shitheads, so I feel your pain. Except for like, 3 of them that actually wanted to do work. The rest were in it for the gen ed credit, and certainly liked crying to me when they got a D on their Crappy McCrapface  "I wrote this at 2am" paper. Painful.
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Faust

Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 18, 2016, 04:50:14 AM
My students were supposed to insert a graph into their lab report, which is to be submitted as a PDF. A solid dozen of them just sent me the Excel file because apparently they couldn't figure out how to copy and paste the graph. NOPE, ASSHOLES. FUCK THAT.
They can even save it as a pdf from excel, that's just lazy.
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Finally got temp work digging mud from flooding for a couple days. My only comfort will be in knowing that I'm not obliged to make any of the other folks around me into functional adults capable of the academia. Hang in there Nigel!

Today my job is simply to smile and lift. First "legit" work I've taken since my shit went all to shit. This is a bigger thing for me that it might seem. My health has improved notably, and I look forward to a day of simple exertion and no undue BS.

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Trivial <insert joke> on October 18, 2016, 06:03:07 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 18, 2016, 04:43:18 AM
OH WAIT IT WAS NANOLITER PRECISION. BECAUSE SHIT MATTERS.

Nanoliter precision is the reason why I went engineering and not science.

Threaten them with engineering maybe?

I cannot imagine most of them surviving even one engineering class.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: SuuCal on October 18, 2016, 06:12:31 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 18, 2016, 04:45:01 AM
Also, week 4 of grad school: FUCK THIS.

I am in a baaaad mood today.

My students were fucking shitheads, so I feel your pain. Except for like, 3 of them that actually wanted to do work. The rest were in it for the gen ed credit, and certainly liked crying to me when they got a D on their Crappy McCrapface  "I wrote this at 2am" paper. Painful.

I had someone email me their homework and ask me to look it over and help them with question one before the submit it. Yes, they literally asked me to do their homework for them.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Faust on October 18, 2016, 08:34:57 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on October 18, 2016, 04:50:14 AM
My students were supposed to insert a graph into their lab report, which is to be submitted as a PDF. A solid dozen of them just sent me the Excel file because apparently they couldn't figure out how to copy and paste the graph. NOPE, ASSHOLES. FUCK THAT.
They can even save it as a pdf from excel, that's just lazy.

Yep. And one did, and that's all she sent me, without the entire rest of the write-up. How hard is it for these people to grasp that they need to submit an ENTIRE lab report? INCLUDING the graphs and tables INSIDE the lab report?
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Faust

Haha, I can certainly confirm that this is experimental test data, no conclusions drawn from it or even a body to explain what it is but it is certainly numbers on a page.

We had a great lecturer for getting us out of bad habits for exercises and lab reports. She has a binary marking scheme: its right or its wrong based on a clear set of rules she gave at the start. When most of the class failed the first assessments a dawning realisation that effort is required helped build a standard that carried through the following years.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: Faust on October 18, 2016, 04:21:57 PM
Haha, I can certainly confirm that this is experimental test data, no conclusions drawn from it or even a body to explain what it is but it is certainly numbers on a page.

We had a great lecturer for getting us out of bad habits for exercises and lab reports. She has a binary marking scheme: its right or its wrong based on a clear set of rules she gave at the start. When most of the class failed the first assessments a dawning realisation that effort is required helped build a standard that carried through the following years.

I'm hoping this will have a similar effect on those who don't decide that "biology is too hard" because it requires reading and following directions.

They literally get a step-by-step template with explicit questions to answer, and directions for inserting their graph into it. Why they refuse to use it, I have no idea.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."