Another pet peeve

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This one is with a particular conversation. It goes like this:

Childless person: "Hey, want to come to this marginal-sounding event tonight?"
Me: "Gee, thanks... but I'll be home with my children."
Childless person, smugly: "You see; that's why I didn't have kids, LOL"

What? The hell is that? No one has ever said to me "You see; that's why I don't have a sex life" when I've turned down an invitation because I had a date. It doesn't even make sense.

1. If I am genuinely bummed about missing the event (which 99% of the time I am not) that is a dick thing to say.

2. I am not bummed. The children are an all-purpose convenient excuse, and it's built right in to doing what I wanted to do anyway, which is stay home. If I'd wanted to go out, I would have made plans to go out. However, I don't want to go out. I want to hang out at home with my kids. I like my kids, and enjoy spending time with them. In fact, I went to significant lengths to acquire them in the first place, and I want to get to see them a little before they move out.

So when someone asks me if I want to go do something later on a day when I have kids, I have several factors I need to weigh. They go like this:

Will this get me laid? (Y/N)
Will this cost me money? (Y/N)
Will this make me money? (Y/N)
Is there free food? (Y/N)
Is this person a close friend I rarely get to see? (Y/N)
Do I have a social obligation which I can discharge by going? (Y/N)
Will this be more fun than hanging out with my kids? (Y/N)

If it weighs in heavily enough to my benefit, then I'll go. But most likely I won't, because I don't really want to.

There are a few people in my life who will be butthurt if I post this where they can see it, because they will (I know, it's weird) take it personally and interpret it as my saying that I like my kids better than I like them, and actually would rather spend time with my kids than with them. Which is true of almost everyone, but I never just outright say so because that would be rude. A lot of people assume that kids are just something that happens by default, kind of by accident, and that's true sometimes. Maybe a lot of the time. Not all of the time. Among our peer group of highly educated hipsters it's probably not even true very much of the time.

There are advantages to not having kids, advantages to not having friends, not having a boyfriend, not having a house, not having a career, not volunteering, not having anyone relying on you, not having responsibilities. Sure. These things are not for everyone, and many people make different decisions about their lives based on what's important to them. I would never tell anyone that they would be better off without something that is very important to them just because it gets in the way of my entertainment for an evening. It is like someone telling you that you should just drop that education thing because, man, it really gets in the way of their good time. There are advantages to not having to show up at class.

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

Fuck them.

And THANK YOU for being a parent who cares about your children, and to spend time with them.

The world needs more people like you. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Thanks!

The thing is, I wanted kids, or I wouldn't have had them. I don't understand the attitude some people have that I must have just somehow picked up these undesirable burdens along the way without noticing and now I'm stuck with them. Furthermore, I think that people who don't want kids shouldn't have them.

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

And I'm glad you do. I'm nowhere near old enough to debate whether or not I want kids and a family (although I do know that at some point I want to adopt an older kid, when I'm old enough and financially secure), but I'm glad to know that you have a family you enjoy being a part of. Not everyone has that.

Aaaaaaaand.... I'm also going to stick my neck out here and say that I don't like abortion at all.

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

As long as you don't want to take the right away from other people, I'm cool with you having your own opinion.

[Jasper]

I'm not against the idea of having kids, but I am pretty sure I don't want a daughter.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And I'm glad you do. I'm nowhere near old enough to debate whether or not I want kids and a family (although I do know that at some point I want to adopt an older kid, when I'm old enough and financially secure), but I'm glad to know that you have a family you enjoy being a part of. Not everyone has that.

Aaaaaaaand.... I'm also going to stick my neck out here and say that I don't like abortion at all.

Really? Abortion is like, my favorite.

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

I do hope you're joking.

I'm not going to be all militant about it and say the government should stop all abortions everywhere NOW! I know there's no truly effective way for the government to stop all abortion, and I know there are some situations where there is absolutely no way to have the child without someone getting seriously hurt or putting the child in a seriously bad situation.

BUT if there is any other option that would allow the kid to live, then I would support that choice, and I support any organization that would help expecting mothers figure out their situation so that the child could live in a place that could support it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I do hope you're joking.

I'm not going to be all militant about it and say the government should stop all abortions everywhere NOW! I know there's no truly effective way for the government to stop all abortion, and I know there are some situations where there is absolutely no way to have the child without someone getting seriously hurt or putting the child in a seriously bad situation.

BUT if there is any other option that would allow the kid to live, then I would support that choice, and I support any organization that would help expecting mothers figure out their situation so that the child could live in a place that could support it.

Nobody likes abortion. It sucks. It's an invasive, painful procedure with risks.

But this thread isn't about abortion.

[The Great Pope of OUTSIDE]

My bad, sorry.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm not against the idea of having kids, but I am pretty sure I don't want a daughter.

[Triple Zero]

Childless person: "Hey, want to come to this marginal-sounding event tonight?"
Me: "Gee, thanks... but I'll be home with my children."
Childless person, smugly: "You see; that's why I didn't have kids, LOL"

Are these the same people that assume you're always free to do stuff because you work at home?

Because, damn, you sure do seem to hang out with people act like insensitive jerks (some of the time. I bet they have redeeming qualities too ).

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Childless person: "Hey, want to come to this marginal-sounding event tonight?"
Me: "Gee, thanks... but I'll be home with my children."
Childless person, smugly: "You see; that's why I didn't have kids, LOL"

Are these the same people that assume you're always free to do stuff because you work at home?

Because, damn, you sure do seem to hang out with people act like insensitive jerks (some of the time. I bet they have redeeming qualities too ).

I don't hang out with them, actually...  the people I hang out with are the ones who make plans with me.

I know a lot of people, and it is advantageous for me to know a lot of people. I'm even polite to most of them.

[the last yatto]

I think the next person that calls, you should give them a bat shit crazy excuse...

[the last yatto]

Not because kids aren't a good enough reason, but if your tired of their answers, change the question or something

And Might as well have fun with it.