Poor Suu Pizza

[Suu]

Another amalgamation of  "omg, I hope this is edible."

A couple of years ago, Richter bestowed several boxes of Matzo on us. Though I've often snacked on it, I forget we had an unopened one in the house. So...here went:

1 matzo wafer, broken into quarters
Tostitos™ Salsa con Queso
The most horrific "Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Product" on the planet (GV brand)
Jarred tomato sauce (Stop and Shop Tomato and Basil...it's actually not bad for jarred sauce.)
Oregano
Sliced tomato

...Put everything on top of the matzo on the pan in your toaster oven for 5mins....




Now, when I say that the "Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Product" is horrific, I mean it from the depths of my soul. Now, I eat cheap, I have no choice, so normally we get the Stop and Shop brand white American singles, however, this time Mr. Suu went grocery shopping unchaperoned, and I know we have to buy cheap and all, but this is BELOW even hobo-standard cheese, not even the government would issue such a dishonor to the glory that is REAL cheese. At least the first ingredient on the list of the Stop and Shop kind  is "American Cheese" followed by a breakdown of the usual cheesy makeup.

...This is:
water, palm oil, corn starch, gelatin and/or casein, whey, modified potato starch, sodium citrate, salt, carrageenan [the fuck?], kasal, Lactic acid [you know, the stuff that makes your muscles sore after a workout...], natural and artificial flavoring, sorbic acid as a preservative, citric acid, annatto and oleoresin paprika color (if colored.)
Contains: Milk

Milk? MILK?! WHERE?! All I taste is SALT and CITRIC ACID! Gah...and it's not colored, btw, this is the whitest fucking white "American Cheese" I've ever seen in my LIFE, and more or less a piece of uncolored plastic that's missing a molecule or two to make it rigid! I put it next to a piece of the other singles we had left and it was like white VS champagne at David's Bridal!

This isn't cheese, it's fucking PLAY-DOH. I wonder if Hasbro knows that their product is now being sold as a food product. Gah.

And if it wasn't for this "Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Product", this snack I made would have been awesome...but all I tasted was PLAY-DOH! 

Next time: NO "Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Product"!

Meanwhile...I'm using my crock pot for the first time ever after owning now for nearly 3 years. It's a cute little one, and I figure it'll be good to sorta cook the jarred sauce we have with the additives I threw in...namely chopped tomato, oregano, and garlic. I think I should through in a pinch of sugar, just to kill the acidity a bit, and hopefully next week I'll be able to get the fixings to make a real pot of sauce, in which half of it I'll freeze for later use and use the rest for a pan of baked ziti. It's not that it's hard or expensive, it's just time-consuming since I make a veritable VAT of it.

I shall update on my sauce project later in the evening when Mr. Suu comes home and I make the pasta.

...Maybe I'll garnish his with some "Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Product".

[Richter]

Matzo:  The gift that keeps on giving

and giving...

and giving.

Still: having seen family do many horrific variations of cheese, veg. and toast, doesn't look half bad.

[Suu]

It's just a big, plain saltine. The possibilities are endless.

In fact, I'm going to make myself another one of those things...sans "Imitation Pasteurized Process Cheese Product". I wish I had mozzarella though.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Works on tortillas too. 


For that matter, tortillas fried in butter can be damn tasty.

[Richter]

Isn't that just a roundabout way of getting tortilla chips?

Suu:  That cheese scares me too.  "contains milk" indeed...

[Triple Zero]

if the really really cheap replacement for something else, is in fact so horrible and chemical and apparently without nutrients as well, it may be cheaper to simply not buy it

hey, dunno if this is useful advice to you, but i got this from my gf, if you can get a shitload of carrots somewhere cheap, you can apparently store them for months if you store them vertically, buried in sand. that's regular white/yellow sand the kind you find on construction sites, beaches and parrot cages, and not soil, the kind you find in forests and gardens.

cause um yeah, i'm as well trying to spend as little money as possible on ... well .. anything basically. heh it's even making me stop smoking. didn't smoke much anymore (2-3 smokes in the evening), but really i couldn't bring myself to buying a pack of tobacco when i'm trying to cut down my costs on everything else. i just gotta stop bumming cigs from my flatmate even though he smokes so much he hardly notices the 2-3 a day i ask him for.

tonight it's going to be omelette. i still got a lot of eggs and milk left from wednesday quiche-night, so i figure i need to use that before the milk goes bad. and i don't usually drink milk straight (don't quite see the point of it). will use some of the bell-peppers, onions and i figured, in order to make it a proper meal it should have some potatoes in it (that would make it a frittatta right), so i checked my fridge, and yeah, 1/4th of a bag of frozen rosti discs! so i'll defrost those, cut them into pieces and put them in the omelette hahahaaaa it will be awesome. oh and cheese (but i won't taunt you with the fact that i have actual cheese and you have play-doh, sorry to hear about that Suu)

[Suu]

Oh don't worry, with the last few dollars I have I plan to go to the store and get the real thing. This stuff is so bad I won't even make grilled cheese out of it. Mr. Suu can have it, I'm getting my own!