Mad at myself.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I will ask for two things at the doctors.

Anabuse.

Medical pot prescription.

The Pot's probably a good idea, but he won't give you anabuse until you've been detoxed. He'll probably give you Valium or Librium, for the withdrawal symptoms.
They can be pretty severe without benzos.

All I know is, it has to stop. I am already on number 4 tonight.

Maybe when you get to 5 or 6, hold it there for a couple of hours, and see if you want that 7th afterwards.

[Adios]

After tonight maybe I will just continue and not worry about drinking myself to death. Fuck it.

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

After tonight maybe I will just continue and not worry about drinking myself to death. Fuck it.

Who is driving brain?

[Adios]

After tonight maybe I will just continue and not worry about drinking myself to death. Fuck it.

Who is driving brain?

Perhaps this is why I started the occams razor thread.

[E.O.T.]

After tonight maybe I will just continue and not worry about drinking myself to death. Fuck it.

Who is driving brain?

Perhaps this is why I started the occams razor thread.

I'M ENJOYING

          the razor thread quite a bit. to me, insanity and genius are different, but very closely related. I think that discussion could go on for a million pages. These two last posts took the thought bubbles right off my page, it DOES seem that brain driving is ON THE TABLE, Herr Brown. Creative efforts, which feel good, feel like GENIUS moves, whereas, creative frustration feels like insanity. You're struggling with your genius, Charley.

I BROKE

          a vicious years-long-drinking-binge a few months back ( i'm more of a gallon every 72 hrs plus all the beer you can chase it with, not less than 8% whatever in a 40 oz.) by

          1) smoking POT again, which serves me sooo much better and reeally decimates my NEED for booze. I fucking love a good drink, but only when the feeling is genius, not making me insane. Also,

          2) i'm trying to be more conscientious of ALL of my DAILY HABITS, coffee, computer, whatever is an activity i can identify as a habit/ rat race type activity, in order to give my body & mind a chance to make some independent decisions.

I WOULDN'T NECESSARILY

          just promote switching out booze for weed as THE ANSWER, but for myself, - I'm back to my girlish figure (bye, bye whiskey belly!!), and i'm nearly done plaster finishing my entire upstairs, and there's NO WAY i could've sanded all that mud with a glass in my hand. It would have spilled and gotten dust in it, so i wouldn't have worked at all. And i'd be frustrated, and considered insane by those around me, snickering at my unfinished walls. INSTEAD, i am a mad genius, having capably accomplished a task which i not only despised (anything to do with drywall/ mud/ plaster) and had little previous skill at. Also, way better mood and uuber horny.

[Adios]

Well, I am not claiming genius.

Congrats for kicking it!

However there are things going on in my head which concern me greatly. When I am sober, as I am now, It's almost like a window of clarity is about to open and I am sitting quietly outside of myself anticipating it. Then a switch flips and I pull away.

I am afraid.

[BadBeast]

I know there are a lot of arguments against replacing one drug, with another, but as far as Pot vs Booze goes, to replace drink for puff, can only be a good move. While it won't deal with any of the underlying issues, it at least ties up your destructive booze routines, and replaces them with far less damaging ones. This will give you a breathing space, at least.
But be prepared to gain about 30lbs in Mars Bars, and Ben & Jerry's.

[Cain]

It seems like a less painful and stupid version of giving a heroin addict methadone instead ie it might actually help mitigate some of the worst aspects of drinking, while giving enough breathing space to work towards cutting out the need for any mind altering substance at all.

[Adios]

That would be ideal.

[E.O.T.]

Well, I am not claiming genius.

Congrats for kicking it!

However there are things going on in my head which concern me greatly. When I am sober, as I am now, It's almost like a window of clarity is about to open and I am sitting quietly outside of myself anticipating it. Then a switch flips and I pull away.

I am afraid.

SEE,

         you're playing with your genius/ insanity toggle (you dirty little whore!)

[Adios]

 

I am no genius.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

So I'm gonna break with expectations here...

If you have a problem with addiction... or maybe drinking instead of facing life... swapping alcohol out for pot isn't necessarily gonna help. Sure, you won't be a mean stoner, and your liver will be much happier... but pot is just as easy, if not easier to hide behind. Especially because its not 'addictive', it doesn't make you mean and its health risks are far lower... so you end up in a safer refuge, a less obvious problem.

I mean, if you're gonna use a drug, I think pot is a much better choice than alcohol... but if you're using the drug to escape reality, pot is dangerous. Alcohol may make you feel bad afterward and its obvious you have a problem. Pot, meh you just smoke another bowl and go on with your day... and its easy to forget that you have a problem that needs to be dealt with.

[Adios]

Expectations? On a thread on this forum? I thought I was the one with substance abuse issues!

[BadBeast]

So I'm gonna break with expectations here...

If you have a problem with addiction... or maybe drinking instead of facing life... swapping alcohol out for pot isn't necessarily gonna help. Sure, you won't be a mean stoner, and your liver will be much happier... but pot is just as easy, if not easier to hide behind. Especially because its not 'addictive', it doesn't make you mean and its health risks are far lower... so you end up in a safer refuge, a less obvious problem.

I mean, if you're gonna use a drug, I think pot is a much better choice than alcohol... but if you're using the drug to escape reality, pot is dangerous. Alcohol may make you feel bad afterward and its obvious you have a problem. Pot, meh you just smoke another bowl and go on with your day... and its easy to forget that you have a problem that needs to be dealt with.

You are making a perfectly valid point here, but at this point, I think damage limitation, rather than psychoanalysis
of the underlying issues, should be the primary concern at the moment.  
The "escape from reality" aspect with Pot, is usually more prevalent in A/ Young people, without much life experience, and B/ People who use it as their primary drug of choice. The therapeutic value of Pot, in this particular case, I think far outweigh any negative or destructive potential.
A good friend of mine, who had a 25 year addiction to Heroin, and Alcohol, (switching from one to the other periodically) and was too ill to anaesthetise for a major surgery, gave up both, then had her operation, and rather than going back on the piss, or the gear, started smoking weed heavily.
Now she hasn't had a drink, or any Heroin for 8 years, does AA meetings twice a week, and has reduced her weed smoking to the extent where she can hold down a job.  
She still smokes every day, and gets a bit morose without it, but compared to the state of her, say, 10 years ago, she's a different person, and much happier.  Still addicted, still using pot, but not in a way that is problematic to her.    

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

So I'm gonna break with expectations here...

If you have a problem with addiction... or maybe drinking instead of facing life... swapping alcohol out for pot isn't necessarily gonna help. Sure, you won't be a mean stoner, and your liver will be much happier... but pot is just as easy, if not easier to hide behind. Especially because its not 'addictive', it doesn't make you mean and its health risks are far lower... so you end up in a safer refuge, a less obvious problem.

I mean, if you're gonna use a drug, I think pot is a much better choice than alcohol... but if you're using the drug to escape reality, pot is dangerous. Alcohol may make you feel bad afterward and its obvious you have a problem. Pot, meh you just smoke another bowl and go on with your day... and its easy to forget that you have a problem that needs to be dealt with.

You are making a perfectly valid point here, but at this point, I think damage limitation, rather than psychoanalysis
of the underlying issues, should be the primary concern at the moment.  
The "escape from reality" aspect with Pot, is usually more prevalent in A/ Young people, without much life experience, and B/ People who use it as their primary drug of choice. The therapeutic value of Pot, in this particular case, I think far outweigh any negative or destructive potential.
A good friend of mine, who had a 25 year addiction to Heroin, and Alcohol, (switching from one to the other periodically) and was too ill to anaesthetise for a major surgery, gave up both, then had her operation, and rather than going back on the piss, or the gear, started smoking weed heavily.
Now she hasn't had a drink, or any Heroin for 8 years, does AA meetings twice a week, and has reduced her weed smoking to the extent where she can hold down a job.  
She still smokes every day, and gets a bit morose without it, but compared to the state of her, say, 10 years ago, she's a different person, and much happier.  Still addicted, still using pot, but not in a way that is problematic to her.    

Oh I agree, its much less of a concern than other popular 'self medication'... but because its so relatively harmless, I've noticed that it can easily make you forget there's a problem at all.I mentioned the concern because CB stated that when he's sober there's almost a window to look out but then he wants to run away from it. Pot easily makes you forget that there's a window you should look out of.

I use pot, I personally think most people would benefit from using pot... but becoming complacent and satisfied with the status quo is the one big risk when you smoke the herb.

Realistically speaking... FOR FUCKS SAKE YOUR LIVER WILL THANK YOU!!!!!!!! And you'll laugh instead of being mean... and I dunno if its just me or not... but pot sometimes leads to creativity, whereas alcohol leads to a hangover.