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MysticWicks endorsement: "I've always, always regarded the Discordians as being people who chose to be Discordians because they can't be arsed to actually do any work to develop a relationship with a specific deity, they were too wishy-washy to choose just one path, and they just want to be a mishmash of everything and not have to work at learning about rituals or traditions or any such thing as that."

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Messages - AliceTheProfessional

#2
D: it wasnt our fault the picture was grainy we used a disposable camera & the pictures came back like crap. thats what we get for using film in the age of digital

heres a more clear picture. venice beach 2007 or 08

#3
Literate Chaotic / Re: Remember the Great Gatsby?
March 23, 2011, 11:52:24 PM
holy shit, win!

#4
Visions of Cody by Jack Kerouac

Beyond Chutzpah: On the Misuse of Anti-Semitism and the Abuse of History by Norman Finkelstein
#5
awesome, thanks OP
#7
Quote from: BadBeast on March 23, 2011, 09:28:24 AM
Quote from: AliceTheProfessional on March 23, 2011, 06:12:03 AM
Quote from: BadBeast on March 22, 2011, 07:10:56 AM
Quote from: AliceTheProfessional on March 22, 2011, 06:08:42 AM
Awesome!  :mrgreen:
I like what you did to your eyes. Can you still see out of them?

No, but they look hella cool. Or so I've been told...
I suppose if you have eyes like that, people are happy to lead you around for the kudos of having such a "differently abled" creature in their charge.
Who's your Mate, doing the slutty Pirate thing with you on the car roof? 

Thats my bestie
#8
Quote from: Luna on March 22, 2011, 12:48:51 PM
Aaah, my favorite.

A letter from the IRS.

Yep, new tax levy.  And, yes, the employee still works here.

Boys and girls, take my advice.  Do NOT fuck with the IRS.  They know where you work, they know where you live, and they do NOT fuck around when they want their money.  By the time I get one of these letters, I KNOW they've tried to reach you at home, and you've blown them off.

"Good morning, this is Luna in payroll.  I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.  I've received a federal tax levy that's going to come out of your check, starting next payroll.  There's some paperwork here for you to fill out."

Now, the usual response at this point is often along the line of, "screw you, I'm not filling anything out."  Alternately, there's, "can't you hold off until I talk to them?"  The more reasonable ask, "how much will be coming out?"

Here's how a tax levy works, kids.  It's not "how much will be coming out?"  It's "how much do they let you keep."

If you do NOT fill out the form, I withhold based on Single, one exemption.  We pay biweekly, which means your take-home pay is now $365.38.  No, it doesn't matter how much it was before, that's your net check, and EVERYTHING else gets sent to Uncle Sam until they tell me to stop.  You are not allowed to add any new deductions that are not required.  That's it.  And I'm required by law to do this, sorry, YOUR miserable ass isn't going to be me fired, fined, arrested, or anything else nasty the IRS can think of to do to me.

Now, what I CAN do for you is point out that if you fill out the form and claim your wife and two kids as three additional exemptions, you get to keep $1,015.38... and if you're nice to me, I'll happily explain that, and help you get it done and in before I run this week's payroll.  Hey, if you're a reasonable human, I'll even point out on your copy of the form where the phone number to call the IRS directly is, and tell you that if you call them and make some sort of reasonable plan with them, they'll fax me a release and NOT hose your check.

And I'll take time to explain this to you, if the first thing out of your mouth when you find out what we're talking about isn't a string of profanities and threats.  (Yes, I've been threatened.  No, I'm not impressed.  I know where you live, fuckhead.  I know your phone number, your social security number, and I've got the contact numbers you've given us to call your next of kin...  And if you think you'll get far jumping me at my car in the garage... well, particuarly after I've gotten a threat, you might want to think twice about that one.  I have toys I'd be happy to demonstrate upon your anatomy.)

So, take my advice.  Call the folks at the IRS, throw yourself on your sword for them, make a plan you can actually afford, fill out the damn forms for me, and, hey, how 'bout you pay your fucking taxes on time so I don't lose a half a day dealing with your shit?

brb lolz forever
#9
Quote from: Nigel on March 23, 2011, 12:17:15 AM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 11:58:40 PM
Quote from: Nigel on March 22, 2011, 11:53:11 PM
Quote from: Lord Glittersnatch on March 22, 2011, 10:09:53 PM
Charlie Sheen just added me as a friend on his official Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZb9772M9Po&feature=channel_video_title

Also haters apparently have "Sheenis Envy"

His youtube is pretty cool. Unlike most official channels he actually talks to people in the comments.

EDIT:

If theres any doubt about this all being a brilliant money making scheme this video should destroy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WtNwUN928M&feature=channel_video_title

Dude, that's pathetic. It only reinforces that he is BAT FUCKING SHIT CRAZY.

Which part of the post are you referring to?

The video you linked to, with the selling of T-shirts. Brilliant money-making scheme? Seriously? It's fucking pitiful.

uh oh, someones got a case of the mondays

#10
Quote from: BadBeast on March 22, 2011, 07:10:56 AM
Quote from: AliceTheProfessional on March 22, 2011, 06:08:42 AM
Awesome!  :mrgreen:
I like what you did to your eyes. Can you still see out of them?

No, but they look hella cool. Or so I've been told...
#11
Awesome!  :mrgreen:
#12
Bring and Brag / Re: Yes, I am a hooker.
March 22, 2011, 02:53:53 AM
thats pretty cool. a friend of mine tried to show me how to do that a couple times, the objective was to sell stupid looking hats to hipsters at the local art walk. unfortunately i lack patience. i think we just got really drunk instead.
#13
Quote from: Nigel on March 21, 2011, 09:45:50 PM
Hello, Alice; I remain suspicious that you are a government plant, but I will await your textual proof that you are a real person and not a 45-year-old CIA employee in a cube in Bremerton, WA.

I am totally not with The Man, man. I partake in many counter cultural pastimes such as rock n roll music (eg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIJNoeDyrV8 ) and even once in awhile relaxing with a nice mojito and perhaps even smoking a cannabis-ah marihuana cigarette.

Now that I've put you at ease, speak slowly and clearly into the microphone. And don't worry, the bleach will only burn for a moment...
#14
Discordian Recipes / making dinner
March 21, 2011, 08:23:43 PM
it takes me about 30 minutes to completely make a hamburger. defrosting, grilling, all that. and it tastes pretty good but im always still hungry afterwards. time spent does not equal quality received. i feel like a pizza pocket would be more filling at this point D:

you'd think this would stop me, but no, i persist. only to be foiled again!  :argh!:
#15
thanks for the welcome, cheers