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At work today:

Billy:  "What do you look so grumpy about?"

Me:  "The new guy."

Billy:  "Who, Kevin?  What's wrong with him?"

Me:  "I sent him to fix the blower on roof 3."

Billy:  "And?"

Me:  "He did it."

Billy:  "So, what's the problem?"

Me:  "While he was doing that, he noticed that one of the hot water heaters was out.  So he fixed that."

Billy:  "That's good, right?"

Me:  "And while he was doing THAT, he noticed some dodgy wiring, so he pulled new wire in parallel, opened the circuit, landed the new wires, and yanked the crappy stuff out. While he was in process of doing THAT, he found that the breakers weren't labeled, so he got the print, verified ALL of the circuits, and labeled them with proper placards instead of a sharpy."

Billy:  "Holy crap, it's not even lunch time."

Me:  "I know."

Billy:  "This isn't natural."

Me:  "I know.  And God won't let me have nice things unless he's gonna drizzle crap all over them first, so I am just sitting here and I am waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Billy:  "But what if there isn't another shoe?"

Me:  "Have you learned NOTHING?"
Literate Chaotic / Re: ITT: Original Story Ideas
« Last post by Prelate Diogenes Shandor on Yesterday at 06:45:59 pm »
An overweight demon tries several fad diets to try and lose weight including eating only people's souls and eating only pain and sorrow
Techmology and Scientism / Re: ⯰
« Last post by The Wizard Joseph on Yesterday at 03:13:40 pm »
Hey spags! Have a (possible?) future Hand of Eris symbol:

a rectangle? seems kinda square

You just need to see it from the right angle  :lol:
Techmology and Scientism / Re: ⯰
« Last post by PoFP on Yesterday at 01:55:33 pm »
Hey spags! Have a (possible?) future Hand of Eris symbol:

a rectangle? seems kinda square

Ahaaauuuuuuuuaaauauuua, yesssss  :golfclap:
Techmology and Scientism / Re: ⯰
« Last post by Cramulus on Yesterday at 01:03:44 pm »
Hey spags! Have a (possible?) future Hand of Eris symbol:

a rectangle? seems kinda square
Apple Talk / Re: ITT I drink, and I write things.
« Last post by The Wizard Joseph on Yesterday at 08:18:35 am »
Tonight I have my first bar fight since I don't know when. A****** said some s*** next thing I know this guy is trying to fight me. Funny part is I was the one who seem rational at the moment. People talk some s*** like they're going to swing but they never really do. The truth is I was happy to put him out of the place but none the less he decided that he was going to talk s*** to me. Next thing you know there's nothing between him and me but the cops and the motherfuking bartender who's upset.  Had a good night overall and everyone at the bar thought I was some kind of hero.I sang My Songs drank my drank and overall it was a great night. Good night good night sweet Eris and I hope I see you again the morning .
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Discordian Politics!
« Last post by The Wizard Joseph on Yesterday at 03:52:58 am »
Being all things to all men in practice is lulzy.
Aneristic Illusions / Re: Discordian Politics!
« Last post by Space Adventures Of Christ on Yesterday at 02:30:33 am »
Rotational Schizophrenic Politics is the best!:
one second the politician is conservative, then they're progressive, then they're alt-left, then they're libertarian, then they're Marxist, then they're communist, then they're full alt-right, then they're fundamentalist  :lulz: :lulz:
Bring and Brag / Re: On The Secret Genesis Of Eris 1-5 complete
« Last post by The Wizard Joseph on February 20, 2018, 11:11:03 pm »
On Gods and Immortality

Dear reader know that this simple and silly mortal's tale consists of but the least of the truth, yet it is founded in more than mere conjecture of the doings of terrible, tyrannical beings long dead and forgotten, for they are from us and of our minds' substance, as surely as we are of our own parents' flesh and living souls, and so even our gods are made in our own image and nature. So long as we yet live and breathe them life from the sacred and oftimes awful power of a dream dreamt becoming a tale told they will be teachers about ourselves in return, and in this way they have real substance through us.

Know also that the truth is up to we mortals to determine,
as ever it was and shall remain, and that no god has power enough to ever take this one thing from you should you be wise enough to keep it close to you, and also remember always that grim mortality is not so very bad and trade it for any false and pernicious promise of a more perfect forever.

For to live forever is to suffer forever as well.
And so come to know the true mass of a star
in trade for their innocent and pretty sparkle.
In life forever the unspeakable, holy vastness
of limitless heavens becomes a cage far darker
than the deepest and most vile pit in all Tartarus,
A vastness so beyond the pale that an immortal,
being powerful beyond measure,
could still get lost in it
and so wander blind.

And so this remember humankind:


Mortality does have it's upside.
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