ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[Triple Zero]

We're all hispters now.

No, wait, we're all emo kids.  Or are we all anarchists?  Environmentalists.  We are all Christine O'Donnell.  And Time Person of the Year 2006.  We are being all that we can be.  We believe we can make a difference.  We're all in this together.  We all live in a Yellow Submarine.  We're all going on a summer holiday.  We are family, I got all my sisters with me.  We are sorry, but no lines are available to take your call at this time.  We are the champions, my friends.  We are sorry, but Windows has suffered an unidentified problem and has had to close this program.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

 

that's good

[Suu]

If that were my ass strapped to that lampshade I would want it on a traveling display so people would never forget. Ever.

[Jenne]

To me, it looks like this:

There are things in the experiential universe that haven't been explained yet (Weird Shit™1).
There are things that happen in the experiential universe that don't make sense to me, in terms of how I think the universe usually works (Weird Shit™2).
The human brain can experience so-called "trancendental" states of conciousness (Weird Shit™3).

Religions, in my view, tend to take Weird Shit™3 and Weird Shit™2, combine them to prove the existence of a powerful placeholder label, which then allows them to explain Weird Shit™1.

I personally don't think you need to have "god" in there.  It's just a lot of Weird Shit.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

LMNO= super genius philosopher without all the uppity pretentiousness and ugly.

[Jenne]

North American Trouser Rat

An oddly xenophobic yet parasitic species, these rats only live in cold ditches, or firmly nested inside the pants of any pant-wearign species.  The trouser rat abhors people, however, and will only approach them with the bare minimum required grace, cunning, or stealth to get into their pants.  Once there, it will be far from sated, and still bitch constantly abut the pants it is inhabiting.  Outside of pants, it will likewise complain ceaselessly about its desire to get into pants.  Removal is best achieved by a swift kick to the ass, having a fucking spine and telling the rat off, or in extreme cases, restraining orders. 

[Cramulus]

FACT:  THE GREAT FLU EPIDEMIC OF 1918, WHICH KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE EPIDEMIC OCCURANCE, WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF PEOPLE HAD ECHINACEA.

The Good Reverend Roger: Telling it like it is.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

FACT:  THE GREAT FLU EPIDEMIC OF 1918, WHICH KILLED MORE PEOPLE THAN ANY OTHER SINGLE EPIDEMIC OCCURANCE, WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF PEOPLE HAD ECHINACEA.

The Good Reverend Roger: Telling it like it is.

That's what we Holy Men^TM DO.

[Jenne]

okay so trying this again...

My Legally Designated Day of Being Allowed To Drink Alcohol occurs in July of this year, which means I will be of age by the time Day of Discord August 23rd, 2011 rolls around.

So, what sort of cocktail should I anticipate on that day?

On that day, you need one of these:

"Cainad's Virginity"

1 Part Smirnoff Vodka
1 Part Cuervo 1800 Gold
1 Part Apple Juice
1 Part Cranberry Juice
Splash Ginger Ale for fizz
Splash Rose's Lime

[Jasper]

Again, not of the day, or even the year but amusing.

Recap; the Pope is dead. We knew becasue they hit him with a silver mallet.

Silver mallet?  No shit?

They tap him on the head and call his name.  Do it twice more.  If he doesn't respond, he's dead.  That's how it works.

Oh, I thought you meant the mallet as a means to KILL him. 

No.  That's what the Cardinal is there for.

Edit; Also let me know if there's somewhere more appropriate to recycle amusing OLD posts.

Wow.  Where the fuck did you find that?

[Placid Dingo]

Buried in Apple Talk, before a few hundred threads went missing.

[hooplala]

Oh how I miss Eric.

Oh wait... no I don't. 

[ñͤͣ̄ͦ̌̑͗͊͛͂͗ ̸̨̨̣̺̼̣̜͙͈͕̮̊̈́̈͂͛̽͊ͭ̓͆ͅé ̰̓̓́ͯ́́͞]

So it's not just me.  I could really go for a bag of Dick's right now.

Unfortunately, the truth about Sigmatic's strange craving for Dick's is that it isn't homosexual.

It's downright horrifying: http://i.imgur.com/RWbpN.jpg

[Cramulus]

Well, I've decided, "enough is enough", and I'm building an art detector.

TGRR,
Protecting mankind from poker-playing dogs.

[Telarus]