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Diagnosis: Apathy

Started by The Wizard, December 01, 2009, 09:59:29 PM

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The Johnny


To me its just a Doctor bashing on Mr. Sapien.

The family part seems very projectative.

It is ambiguous metaphors for the most part, and at least for me, your keeping of ambiguity makes it a bit dull.
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

The Wizard

Hmm. Fair enough. Sorry you didn't like it. I kept the ambiguity because I was trying to not be obvious about my point.
Insanity we trust.

Brotep

While it's clear that the Doctor and the patient are part of the same thought process if not the same person, what is not clear is the way out.  There's the line that you have to save yourself, but also the sense that it's too late.

So I'm getting that this piece needs discussion (or elaboration) in order to be complete, since it doesn't present the reader with a way out.

The Johnny

#18
Even do the aim of your tone seems to be a different one, id recommend you read up on Sepia's works.

Im not that good at stylistics per se, my thing is more concept.

Perhaps:

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=23103.msg784540#msg784540
<<My image in some places, is of a monster of some kind who wants to pull a string and manipulate people. Nothing could be further from the truth. People are manipulated; I just want them to be manipulated more effectively.>>

-B.F. Skinner

The Wizard

I've read most of Sepia' stuff. It's what inspired me to do this piece. I usually write either straight fiction or a rant where I just state my idea. I think I'll need more practice in this type of writing.
Insanity we trust.