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Dok's New-Style Discordianism Without Godless Hippies

Started by Doktor Howl, September 02, 2011, 07:16:17 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cainad (dec.)

Eris is BIG and she's goddamn dangerous. All those other gods get their kicks by being aloof and watching us beg for their attention. Not She, no: Eris is a hard-working deity.

Eris watches everything you do, looking for the right moment to "help," in her own special way. She'll help you achieve more than you really wanted.

Eris will break you out of the Greyfaced restraints you were in before you found Her, it's true. But She doesn't do it because She loves you and wants you to live a blissful existence of beautiful nonsense.

No, She does it because there's just the slightest chance you'll turn out to be even MORE FUN to play with if She lets you out.

And you wouldn't want to be a disappointment to Our Lady of Chaos, would you?

Oh no, that just wouldn't do at all.

LMNO

Oh, holy shit. You nailed it.


She fucks with you so you can rise above, and give her a CHALLENGE.


Suu, are you listening?

Cainad (dec.)

If Eris was a person like you or I, she would be a temperamental, insane, evil person.

But you do not judge Chaos by the same meter stick as you judge a person. You do not judge Chaos at all; that would be meaningless.

That's why we have "Bob." Unlike Eris, "Bob" is not a deity. "Bob" is something else entirely, but the important thing is that he's willing to take your money. Eris is not.


Enlightenment is not a glorious gift by which Eris leads you to a better way of living. Enlightenment is when Eris flashes her tits at you just quickly enough that you don't quite want to gouge your eyes out, but just long enough for you to know, deep in your bowels, that you've seen something. Something that many people either never see, don't realize they've seen, or even refuse to see.

But don't go oggling at Her, hoping for another peek. Eris loves attention, but only the kind She takes from you, not the kind you force upon Her.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Eris giggles every time you decide the world is just too fucking much, every time you take it TO THE WALL, every Saturday Night.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


LMNO

I was wondering what that sound was.  I thought it was the screaming of a thousand lost souls.  Turns out, it was just Eris giggling.

P3nT4gR4m

Eris is a huge fucking punch inna teeth that comes out of nowhere, goes singing past your jaw and floors the guy standing next to you. You have just enough time to breathe a sigh of relief before you get arrested for throwing it.  :argh!:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

navkat

Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:12:55 PM
Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.

NEWSFEED
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


navkat

Quote from: M. Nigel Salt on March 07, 2013, 09:20:18 PM
Quote from: navkat on March 07, 2013, 09:12:55 PM
Eris is just a rabble-rousing troublemaker with one hand on a can of Hi-vis-orange Krylon and a finger in your butthole.

NEWSFEED

I love you, nigel. <3

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."