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Quotes of the Moment II

Started by Triple Zero, June 13, 2011, 12:29:54 AM

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ShoeEars

 
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 08, 2011, 07:36:54 PM
"If you were to breed my dog, what other breed would you mate her with?"

"Ditto.  That way she's guaranteed to be the same breed, have the same talents, and keep her favorable I...why are you looking at me like that?"

:lulz:
I <3 Pokemon
*Brohoof*  /)(\

‎"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And all the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust."
-- Lawrence Krauss

ShoeEars

Two separate quotes from an old troll friend of mine:


JL: Apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when your mom asks "What happened? You look sad today".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jl: Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".

Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.
*Brohoof*  /)(\

‎"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And all the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust."
-- Lawrence Krauss

Disco Pickle

Quote from: ShoeEars on July 08, 2011, 10:42:12 PM
Two separate quotes from an old troll friend of mine:


JL: Apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when your mom asks "What happened? You look sad today".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jl: Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".

Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.

:lulz:


"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

ShoeEars

More from my friend JL

"How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
20,001. One to change it, and the other 20,000 to repeatedly chant "U.S.A.""


"Games dont make people violent, lag does"


"Why does princess Diana have no friend on Xbox Live?
Because she's always on the dashboard."
*Brohoof*  /)(\

‎"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And all the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust."
-- Lawrence Krauss

Anna Mae Bollocks

Quote from: ShoeEars on July 10, 2011, 09:53:47 PM
"Why does princess Diana have no friend on Xbox Live?
Because she's always on the dashboard."


Recently deceased man: "Mother Theresa devoted her entire life to serving others, why is Princess Diana's halo so much larger than hers?"

St. Peter: "That's not a halo, it's a steering wheel."
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

ShoeEars

Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on July 10, 2011, 11:22:10 PM
Quote from: ShoeEars on July 10, 2011, 09:53:47 PM
"Why does princess Diana have no friend on Xbox Live?
Because she's always on the dashboard."


Recently deceased man: "Mother Theresa devoted her entire life to serving others, why is Princess Diana's halo so much larger than hers?"

St. Peter: "That's not a halo, it's a steering wheel."

:lulz:
*Brohoof*  /)(\

‎"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And all the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust."
-- Lawrence Krauss

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Phox

You are all terrible people.

Phox,
Used to think "Princess Died" was a strange nickname.

ShoeEars

JL does not take a break  :lulz:

"My wife has just been to the police about a man who has been following her.

I don't think she really understands the concept of Twitter."



" How many Africans does it take to change a light bulb?

6
One to screw it in, 5 to dance around for no fucking reason."



"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

12.
One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like",
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men,
and one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary."
*Brohoof*  /)(\

‎"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And all the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust."
-- Lawrence Krauss

Disco Pickle

Quote from: ShoeEars on July 10, 2011, 11:25:14 PM
Quote from: Anna Mae Bollocks on July 10, 2011, 11:22:10 PM
Quote from: ShoeEars on July 10, 2011, 09:53:47 PM
"Why does princess Diana have no friend on Xbox Live?
Because she's always on the dashboard."


Recently deceased man: "Mother Theresa devoted her entire life to serving others, why is Princess Diana's halo so much larger than hers?"

St. Peter: "That's not a halo, it's a steering wheel."

:lulz:

Princess Diana jokes, nice.

What would princess Diana be doing right now if she was alive?

Clawing at the roof of her coffin.
"Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter." --William Ralph Inge

"sometimes someone confesses a sin in order to take credit for it." -- John Von Neumann

Cain

Quote from: ShoeEars on July 08, 2011, 10:42:12 PM
Two separate quotes from an old troll friend of mine:


JL: Apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when your mom asks "What happened? You look sad today".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jl: Failed my Politics exam. The question was "Describe the role that India plays in the modern world".

Apparently "Tech Support" is not the correct answer.

:lulz:

Equally, it should be noted Indian hegemony should not be supported on the basis that "at least the food will be better than Subway or MacDonalds".

Eater of Clowns

"Dispatch I'm en route to the possible B&E, I've got 404 Main St for a location.  Can you get on the line with the town and get any more information on the area?"

"Well, it's at 404 Main St, sir."

"Right, can you call them back and find out any land marks, or where it's near?"

"I imagine it's near 403 Main St and 405 Main St, sir."
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

ShoeEars

‎"He has insomnia, so he stays up all night bothering people on facebook to get into fights with them so hes not alone at night. "
*Brohoof*  /)(\

‎"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded.
And all the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand.
It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust."
-- Lawrence Krauss

Triple Zero

Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 12, 2011, 04:46:11 AM
"Dispatch I'm en route to the possible B&E, I've got 404 Main St for a location.  Can you get on the line with the town and get any more information on the area?"

"Well, it's at 404 Main St, sir."

"Right, can you call them back and find out any land marks, or where it's near?"

"I imagine it's near 403 Main St and 405 Main St, sir."

But 404 is Not Found, 403 is Forbidden and 405 is Not Allowed!
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.

LMNO

Quote from: Triple Zero on July 12, 2011, 01:39:54 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on July 12, 2011, 04:46:11 AM
"Dispatch I'm en route to the possible B&E, I've got 404 Main St for a location.  Can you get on the line with the town and get any more information on the area?"

"Well, it's at 404 Main St, sir."

"Right, can you call them back and find out any land marks, or where it's near?"

"I imagine it's near 403 Main St and 405 Main St, sir."

But 404 is Not Found, 403 is Forbidden and 405 is Not Allowed!

:crankey:

....


:mittens: