Involuntary Nocturnal Infatuations

[navkat]

Every so often (like once every year or so), I have a dream about having a romance with someone who, during waking hours, I have little interest in above platonic. I don't really know him *well.* He's someone involved in a lot of the art and music culture in this town but most of my past dealings with him were either strained or downright contentious.

We buried some ridiculous (barely tangible) hatchet years ago and I have a genuine regard for him and his work in this city. We've both "grown up" in the nine years I've been here, that's for certain but we really don't even socialize in the same circles. I have my New Orleans peeps (who are a lot warmer, dirtier, unabashedly flawed and more approachable), and he has his art world people (who are brilliant, nice as all get-out but also a bit snobbish because of their work and NOT approachable).

The situation is LITERALLY impossible. Not improbable, impossible. We're like oil and water. Also, I have a near-anxiety-attack just exchanging pleasantries with him at the few social functions at which we've both been present because we're so oddly UNfamiliar now, my social anxiety kicks in as though I'm talking to a stranger. But every so often, I do try to pop into one of his shows or things just to show support because he works so hard to elevate the status of this city.

Anyone else have one of these?

[Elder Iptuous]

huh.  odd.
in the dream, are you emotionally attached to him, or is it a no-strings fling?

[navkat]

huh.  odd.
in the dream, are you emotionally attached to him, or is it a no-strings fling?

Emotionally attached...but in this weird, he-lets-me-do-my-thing-and-I-let-him-do-his-but-when-we-meet-it's-fireworks kind of way. I mean it's really kind of my perfect, fantasy relationship/romance. I can hear The Cure's "Plainsong" just writing about it.

I often wake up sad that it isn't real but oddly, it doesn't make me pine for him at all in my waking hours. The reality is that he's this separate entity from me and verry far removed from my world.

This is he:
http://treylane.com/

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is he:

Are you not concerned about asswipe seeing that?

[navkat]

I mean, to give you an idea of how bizarre it is, it'd literally be like having romantic dreams about, say, Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Like, no matter how epically fantastic and sexy it is while you're asleep, you wake up and go "Huh! That's sort of silly."

[navkat]

This is he:

Are you not concerned about asswipe seeing that?

Not particularly. I doubt he'd track it back but even if he did, it wouldn't bother me for him to know. It's really that unrealistic.

[navkat]

I imagine he'd probably smirk for a second and promptly dismiss it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

This is he:

Are you not concerned about asswipe seeing that?

Not particularly. I doubt he'd track it back but even if he did, it wouldn't bother me for him to know. It's really that unrealistic.

In whose mind?

Anyway, just expressing a concern.  If it's not actually something to worry about, carry on.

[navkat]

Nah, not worried. I'd probably even blog about it and not be shy about using his name if I cared to at all.

[Elder Iptuous]

what will his reaction be, presumably, when you tell him about it?

[navkat]

When I tell him? He's got a woman!

Look, if for some weird reason he finds this shit (I doubt it), the most he'd do is snarf and move on.

I was just curious if anyone else had a thing like this going on. I assumed it was normal but apparently it isn't so now I feel weird.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

This is he:

Are you not concerned about asswipe seeing that?

Not particularly. I doubt he'd track it back but even if he did, it wouldn't bother me for him to know. It's really that unrealistic.

I'm assuming that by "asswipe" Roger means your husband.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Anyway, yes, at various times I've had dreams in which I was having sex with someone completely ridiculous. I always feel odd about it afterwards, like, really? Luckily I usually forget after a few days.

Also, that guy and his friends are snobbish? Because that was some seriously amateurish art, he's got nothing to be snobbish about. I think that maybe real artists aren't insecure enough to be snobbish, because none of my arty friends are. Except maybe John, and that's not really snobbery, he's just autistic and not picking up on when to be friendly.

[navkat]

This is he:

Are you not concerned about asswipe seeing that?

Not particularly. I doubt he'd track it back but even if he did, it wouldn't bother me for him to know. It's really that unrealistic.

I'm assuming that by "asswipe" Roger means your husband.

Who the fuck knows/cares? I'm TIRED.

[navkat]

Anyway, yes, at various times I've had dreams in which I was having sex with someone completely ridiculous. I always feel odd about it afterwards, like, really? Luckily I usually forget after a few days.

Also, that guy and his friends are snobbish? Because that was some seriously amateurish art, he's got nothing to be snobbish about. I think that maybe real artists aren't insecure enough to be snobbish, because none of my arty friends are. Except maybe John, and that's not really snobbery, he's just autistic and not picking up on when to be friendly.

Eh. It's arty people. Nature of the beast.