I'M FUCKING SICK OF BACON

[Golden Applesauce]

Relevant to this thread:

http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=430

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

[East Coast Hustle]

The turkey wrapped in bacon pushed me over the edge.



Dear Internet,

HAVE SOME FUCKING SHAME, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

actually, it's the second-best way to keep a turkey moist. I mean, you don't HAVE to eat the bacon after the turkey is done. Don't blame bacon for your lack of self-control.

Hey, don't accuse me of even contemplating doing something so heinous.


...what's the best way?

take a clean pillowcase and soak it in clarified butter. Put the turkey in the pillowcase and cook at 325 until done. Remove pillowcase and enjoy the best turkey you ever ate.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

The turkey wrapped in bacon pushed me over the edge.



Dear Internet,

HAVE SOME FUCKING SHAME, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

actually, it's the second-best way to keep a turkey moist. I mean, you don't HAVE to eat the bacon after the turkey is done. Don't blame bacon for your lack of self-control.

Hey, don't accuse me of even contemplating doing something so heinous.


...what's the best way?

take a clean pillowcase and soak it in clarified butter. Put the turkey in the pillowcase and cook at 325 until done. Remove pillowcase and enjoy the best turkey you ever ate.

We recently spatchcocked a turkey, stuffed under the skin with onion, dried cranberry and sausage and then covered with a butter soaked cheesecloth.

Awesome Turkey in 45 mins.

[Jenne]

I'll shamelessly announce here and now that we fried not one but TWO (marinade injected, of course) turkeys this past week.  In peanut oil.  Both turkeys over 20 lbs.

Bacchanalian Thanksgivings are just our style, I guess.

[Manta Obscura]

I'll shamelessly announce here and now that we fried not one but TWO (marinade injected, of course) turkeys this past week.  In peanut oil.  Both turkeys over 20 lbs.

Bacchanalian Thanksgivings are just our style, I guess.

You win infinity mittens, not only for your culinary exploits, but also for your use of the adjective "Bacchanalian." So:

x Infinity

[Jenne]

I'll shamelessly announce here and now that we fried not one but TWO (marinade injected, of course) turkeys this past week.  In peanut oil.  Both turkeys over 20 lbs.

Bacchanalian Thanksgivings are just our style, I guess.

You win infinity mittens, not only for your culinary exploits, but also for your use of the adjective "Bacchanalian." So:

x Infinity

  I missed this!  Thanks muchly!

Also: 

My crazyass mom is acting like she doesn't know what I am doing for Xmas dinner.    She keeps hinting she just wants HAM.    I'm thinking of telling her, go right the fuck ahead and bring a damned ham if you want.

But I'm doing bacon-wrapped turducken, so stick it in your piehole.

Yeah, I'm not in charity with me mudder atm.

[Manta Obscura]

I'll shamelessly announce here and now that we fried not one but TWO (marinade injected, of course) turkeys this past week.  In peanut oil.  Both turkeys over 20 lbs.

Bacchanalian Thanksgivings are just our style, I guess.

You win infinity mittens, not only for your culinary exploits, but also for your use of the adjective "Bacchanalian." So:

x Infinity

  I missed this!  Thanks muchly!

Also: 

My crazyass mom is acting like she doesn't know what I am doing for Xmas dinner.    She keeps hinting she just wants HAM.    I'm thinking of telling her, go right the fuck ahead and bring a damned ham if you want.

But I'm doing bacon-wrapped turducken, so stick it in your piehole.

Yeah, I'm not in charity with me mudder atm.

I don't usually like to act like a groak, Jenne, but you might just find me, on Christmas day, staring into your kitchen through the window, gazing wistfully at your awesome turducken. That sounds delicious.

Manta,
has tried, unsuccessfully, to convince Mrs. Obscura that we need a turducken this year.

[Jenne]

Aw, well, my husband's not too thrilled either.  But he got 2 supreme-injected turkeys over 20 # fried for Thanksgiving, so I gets mah turbaconducken for Xmas.

It will be, at the very least, an adventure.  Good thing my mom wants to bring ham (or wants ham PROVIDED, but fuck that, she wants it, she can bring it!).

[LMNO]

Jenne:  Mom, have you met my husband?

Mom: Yes, why?

Jenne:  Well, just like Samuel L Jackson in "Pulp Fiction", he don't dig on the motherfucking swine.

[Jenne]

He refuses to cook bacon anymore.  I think his Muslim roots are grabbing him back into the soil. 

He'll EAT the bacon...one or two slices...but he doesn't like to cook it because of all the bacon grease.

He hangs with ham ok...not a huge fan.  But my pork roast the other night absolutely melted him.  So I know if you have the right recipe, he's down.

His father, true story, told my kids during brunch one Sunday about a month ago to quit eating bacon.  I said, "Why?  That's MY family's background.  My mother's mother's people were hog farmers."

Heh.

I should do that shit more often.  Of course I got stammering replies about the unhealthiness of it.

To which I replied, "Yes, because LAMB is so good for you.  You know, growing up, we thought LAMB was gross."

*shrug*  It's a learning curve.  Luckily, my kids are ahead of the game.

My mom needs to just accept it--I am going to do this turbaconducken thingie and if it doesn't turn out, we'll have hog.  Just like her grandpappy used to.

[LMNO]

You really need to do some Geneology research, and come up with a bunch of freaky Anglo-saxon shit.

[Jenne]

Turbaconducken is pretty fuckin freaky, but yeah...that's a great idea.  Freak those fuckers out big time.

[Richter]

It's spreading

http://www.neatorama.com/2008/12/23/bacon-cheese-roll/

[Jenne]

MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE BACON.

Turbaconducken is cooking.  Pix to follow once it's done.