Excess Weight

[Eater of Clowns]

There's this horrible little thing in my hand and a voice coming from the other end of it.  I hate this thing so much.  It's pressed against my skull by a tensed forearm and a hand clawed over this little red button of a circle with a line through it.  It's right there, I have the digit with which to accomplish the task but I just can't do it for the repercussions.  Just press down that thumb and it ends, that's all, but I'm not supposed to.

It weighs a few ounces, heavy and large in comparison to a bunch of the others I've seen that have all kinds of awesome features that this beastly thing does not.  Even so, none of them are large enough to be wedged between skull and shoulder whilst walking about without some serious neck pain, not like the old ones with the cords.  But they all have that little red button with the circle with the line through it.  It's the worst fucking button on the whole thing.  It's literally a little red button with the understanding it should not be pressed at the wrong time.  How fucking cruel is that?

Just as bad as the button is the comfortable weight it presents for throwing the god damned fucker against a wall.  It's got just enough heft and sexy aerodynamics that if you tossed it you would see the fragile little screen burst and fragile little guts fall out.  It would be so awesome.

Instead of throwing it and instead of pressing that little god-fucking-hate-bitching button I'm using it to ineptly clarify some complex thought to someone else trying to ineptly clarify some complex thought.  Then when I don't plaster the bastard to my left ear and filthy up that sexy full color screen with errant wax and spittle I weigh down my right pocket to a familiarity so complete that I feel funny if it's gone.  And it'll shakes in there when it needs to tempt me with its crappy red button.

That stupid little button.  That I cannot press.

[Captain Utopia]

I can feel this.  I hate my phone.  For different reasons.

You could try becoming known as "the guy with the terrible connection" whose phone hangs up at inopportune moments.  I bet it'd be an easy (and satisfying) meme to plant.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

LOVE



LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

[Requia ☣]

You mean I'm not the only one who hates cell phones?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I just hate phones. Cell phones less than land lines.

[Reeducation]

That was a good one eoc.

With my cell phone, I never keep the sounds on. People don't like that, as I have found out.

[Requia ☣]

I just hate phones. Cell phones less than land lines.

See, I don't mind land lines so much, used to be I could avoid the phone by leaving the house.  If I leave my cell at home people get pissy.

[Eater of Clowns]

I wrote this three months ago, I figured with no responses it was a flop.     Thanks for the bump FP.

[AFK]

"Oh, well, then stop."

Outside of emergency applications, I find cell phones to be utterly pointless and probably pose more of a net negative to society;  between texting while driving and people who replace face-to-face with handheld technology.  It's the boob-tube for your pocket.  Now you can tune-in/tune-out anywhere you go.   

[Jenne]

I have a love-hate relationship with my cell phone.  I find I'm rather conservative in that large changes in service or the device "fuck up my chi" for a while, and I'll treat it like a red-headed stepchild.  Then, I get all obsessive with it and use it all the fucking time (esp now that I have an iPhone).  Though, when I'm stressed, I notice I leave it on vibrate more so that I miss more calls (sometimes it's an honest mistake because I'm in a meeting or multiple meetings and just forget) or leave it downstairs more often so again I miss more calls.  I get strangely passive-aggressive about communication in general, actually, when I'm stressed.

Which is a newer phenomenon for me.  Because I used to need to reach out and "touch someone" when I was feeling low.

[NotPublished]

While they are useful, I hate them alot. Yes.

When I've lost my phone - I FEEL SOO FREE.

I always leave my ph on vibrate

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

to the OP!!!! 

I love the "reject list" option.

Otherwise, my cell is my lifeline.  It drives me insane but when I have left the house without it, I will turn around and go back for it if I'm going to be out for any length of time.  The kids all have thier cell phones and sometimes I think I talk and text more to them on the phone (especially during football season) than I do in person.

I miss the old days when it was just a phone.  My razr was the best phone I have EVAR owned.  Dropped it in the lake, it fell in the toilet, I ran over it in the mud at a tourney weekend, stepped on it, threw it a billion times and it always just kept on working.  It lasted me almost 4 years.  Finally died a few months ago.  I cried.

Now I have this internet ready thing with a keyboard and 3G (whatever the fuck that is) and buttons I never use and don't know what the fuck they do.  Took me 2 weeks to stop hanging up on people when I answered the phone.  Maybe I'm too old for all this new technology?

[Nast]

When it was invented, the telephone was never expected to catch on because answering to a ringing bell was considered to be only befitting of servants. But times change, of course.

[Captain Utopia]

How so?  We're all slaves to the ringing bell now.

[Nast]

Times change in that we're willing to be slaves.

ETA: Sorry, I should have made last sentence in previous post less vague. D: