What is it with all the 20-something drones?

[trippinprincezz13]

Due to unpleasantness involving a horrible ex (boyfriend at the time), I moved out when I was 18. Original college plans fell through due to lack of funds among other things, but I still managed to get my Associates at least through a Community College while working part, then full-time (and both, and one point), have been keeping a roof over my head for the past 7.5 or so years, taught myself to cook, pay my bills on time, cook dinner almost every night and at least have a semi-"respectable" job as a legal assistant/semi-paralegal/office manager. I reconciled with my parents a little over  5 years ago once asshole was out of the picture and although they are always happy to help out, and I'm sure would let me move home if I needed, I am the primary caretaker of my life, financially and otherwise, and prefer it that way.

Out of our circle of friends that pretty much spans the entire 20-something range, my boyfriend and I are some of the only ones that actually have our own place and work full-time to maintain it. After that, it's probably about 50/50 between people actually out there trying to do something and those doing the bare minimum, if anything. A few we know have already bought houses (his cousin did at 22 working as an electrician). And then there's the kid that got fired and moved back home with his parents and his brother and brother's gf who don't work, don't clean, don't care, etc. And those in between going to school and working, seeming to try to do something, though still sometimes baffled when we can't come out because we have work early the next morning or cant' go to the bar because we have to pay rent and buy food - it's nice to not pay rent and have any other bills covered.

A lot of it is this sense of entitlement and I don't get where it comes from. Part of it I'm sure is the images projected on TV/movies/music, etc. A lot of it I'm sure is how kids were raised - my boyfriend's family struggled a bit when he was younger and he understands the value of money and needing to work to get by. My family was probably solidly "middle class" but were taught the value of a dollar (once I reached a certain age my mom had me help her balance the checkbook, see what bills were paid, etc.) and my parents are a bit older than others (my dad's almost 20 years older than my mom & like Vartox I have half-siblings are late 30's, early 40's) so maybe we were instilled with different values. I see 12 year olds and younger with fancy cell phones – I didn't get one until I got my license and a car, and even then it was a cheap prepaid one "for emergencies". No internet or camera or apps or god knows what else. WTF does a kid need a cell phone for?? (some exceptions noted)

[LMNO]

I'm beginning to see another common trend in the PD Discordians.

What's odd is that I started my 20's as a Trust Fund Baby.  I'm not sure what happened along the way.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What's really interesting is how many people feel the need to point out that THEY aren't drones, when nobody here would assume they are.

So, it goes from "Tucson and Hamilton have this problem, and it can be inferred that it exists elsewhere" to "I had to walk 40 miles to work as a jackhammer bit in the salt mines, uphill both ways in a snowstorm, to pay for my degree, and I spent 10 years living in a paper bag in the gutter, but through grit and determination, I have accidentally the Horatio Alger."

I wonder what part of the human psyche drives that?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm beginning to see another common trend in the PD Discordians.

What's odd is that I started my 20's as a Trust Fund Baby.  I'm not sure what happened along the way.

I started as the middle child of a moderately wealthy family, fucked up a bit, wandered into the military, and then sort of blundered my way into a rather satisfying and interesting life.  I have few regrets.

[Luna]

I'm beginning to see another common trend in the PD Discordians.

What's odd is that I started my 20's as a Trust Fund Baby.  I'm not sure what happened along the way.

I rather suspect that the majority of those who grew up all rainbows and fluffy puppies and haven't seen much else see no need for discord.  They like things the way they are.

[Jasper]

What's really interesting is how many people feel the need to point out that THEY aren't drones, when nobody here would assume they are.

So, it goes from "Tucson and Hamilton have this problem, and it can be inferred that it exists elsewhere" to "I had to walk 40 miles to work as a jackhammer bit in the salt mines, uphill both ways in a snowstorm, to pay for my degree, and I spent 10 years living in a paper bag in the gutter, but through grit and determination, I have accidentally the Horatio Alger."

I wonder what part of the human psyche drives that?

Self-serving bias, fundamental attribution error, blind spot bias.  The usual suspects.

[LMNO]

What's really interesting is how many people feel the need to point out that THEY aren't drones, when nobody here would assume they are.

So, it goes from "Tucson and Hamilton have this problem, and it can be inferred that it exists elsewhere" to "I had to walk 40 miles to work as a jackhammer bit in the salt mines, uphill both ways in a snowstorm, to pay for my degree, and I spent 10 years living in a paper bag in the gutter, but through grit and determination, I have accidentally the Horatio Alger."

I wonder what part of the human psyche drives that?

"Everybody's trying not to be like everyone else... and I just don't want to be like that, you know?"

[Eater of Clowns]

You're hitting a sensitive spot on a bunch of people at an age where they wonder if they'll ever reach their potential.  What's commonly referred to as a "mid-life crisis" actually tends to hit people twice in their lives, and guess when the first one usually comes along.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

What's really interesting is how many people feel the need to point out that THEY aren't drones, when nobody here would assume they are.

If it helps, I think some of us are just like "WTF, it isn't -hard- to not suck. It just takes application and paying attention. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL THESE MORONS?"

I mean seriously. I am one of the laziest people I know and I have two jobs, several hobbies, two stable relationships . . . and don't live in my parents' fucking basement. O.o

[Jasper]

You're hitting a sensitive spot on a bunch of people at an age where they wonder if they'll ever reach their potential.  What's commonly referred to as a "mid-life crisis" actually tends to hit people twice in their lives, and guess when the first one usually comes along.

It's not really a midlife crisis, it's a "not young enough to justify having fun all the time anymore" crisis.

[trippinprincezz13]

Before that last post gets too TL;DR...

One glaring example that does irk me is a fairly good friend of mine and I'm not quite sure how to feel about it. 4 years younger than me and grew up in one of the richer towns in the area. Met her at my PT job while I was also working full time and became friends. Began to notice she would come in late, call out or just not show up, usually due to too much partying the night before. Not saying I never go overboard in having a good time, but I make sure I drag my pukey ass into work ON TIME every day and get my work done. I will never call out over a hangover - it's my stupid fault so I'm not using it as an excuse (speaking of which, dragged in yesterday for 9:00 after being up all night and part of the mornign and sleeping for about 2 hours.) I'd have to be deathly ill to even call out sick. She eventually lost that job and went through a series of part-time jobs after that.

"I don't like the people" "My boss expects me to do XYZ" "I don't want to deal with customers". I even got her a part-time job at my office doing filing when she was desperate for work. Apparently it was too much effort to match the name on the paper to the name on the file folder since she couldn't even get that right. And then she left because the job was "boring". Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were trying earn a living - I'm not sure how exciting you thought putting papers in a folder was going to be when I offered the job and while I may not be...what? Having water balloon fights and getting wasted at the office? It still puts a roof over my head and food on my plate. Fun is for between 5:00 p.m. and 5:00 a.m. Though FWIW I find my work interesting even if it's not an 8 hours party 5 days a week. Her attitude towards school was much the same way and she barely passed high school and after being SUPER MOTIVATED to go to school for massage therapy, quickly gave up when she realized you still had to do actual work.

On 2 or 3 separate occassions we took her in to live with us but that never lasted long because she couldn't hold down a job for more than a few months and/or most of what little money she earned went to clothes/pot/miscellaneous. You can't afford $50 a week? Really?!? When she turned 18 her parents wanted to kick her back out. "Why don't you go live with TP13 & boyfriend?" lolwhat? Because we're a homeless shelter. Of course the implications of her parents originally being ok with their 16 year old daughter living with essentially complete strangers aren't that great either. After the last time she lived with us and moved out again she actually got upset that we *gasp* rented the room out to someone else – you know, that was paying?

Eventually she got knocked up, kicked out of her parents', bounced from shelters and couches, continued to not make any effort to become employed. Received state assistance until she lost that for suspicion of drug use/activity. Dad moves to FL, and eventually asked her to move down there (he's sick, which is I believe why since he now has her caring for him), gave her his 3-bedroom house and bought himself a condo. She worked about 3 weeks then the place "closed down" and she hasn't bothered since as far as I can tell. All of it has been a pattern of expecting things to go how she wants and if they don't it's everyone else's fault and her situation is "different" and OMG the kid that she'd been talking about wanting since we met her at 16 is actually work to take care of and not just a playmate and new best friend.

Not that I want her to be suffering or homeless with a kid, but it all just reinforces the fact that the world should bend to her will and there are no responsibilities or consequences for your actions. I do wonder what will happen when her father is no longer around to support her, though I don't wish her any bad. I suppose it was just a thing of me expecting that after ONE of these major events in her life, there would be a wake-up call but so far apparently not. Even though I don't place a big emphasis on material things in my life, I suppose there is a bit of resentment in the fact that we work our asses off just to get by and at the age of 22 she still has no real sense of personal responsibility and is living by the beach in a huge home with a pool, etc. C'est la vie I suppose

[hooplala]

What's really interesting is how many people feel the need to point out that THEY aren't drones, when nobody here would assume they are.

So, it goes from "Tucson and Hamilton have this problem, and it can be inferred that it exists elsewhere" to "I had to walk 40 miles to work as a jackhammer bit in the salt mines, uphill both ways in a snowstorm, to pay for my degree, and I spent 10 years living in a paper bag in the gutter, but through grit and determination, I have accidentally the Horatio Alger."

I wonder what part of the human psyche drives that?

This aspect of the thread was amusing me too.

[trippinprincezz13]

You're hitting a sensitive spot on a bunch of people at an age where they wonder if they'll ever reach their potential.  What's commonly referred to as a "mid-life crisis" actually tends to hit people twice in their lives, and guess when the first one usually comes along.

I think it is kinda this. Yea I know I jumped on the bandwagon of NOT ME! But although I'm living fairly comfortably and stable, I also have this nagging in the back of my head of WHAT NOW? Not in a I expect something to magically happen way, but in a "Is this what I'm going to do forever" thing? And "How will I make a 'real' living out of this" And "HOLY FUCK I thought I was doing good but people my age are buying houses and getting married and OH GOD 30 is getting closer"

Then combine that with the mixture of disgust and slight resentment over the people that "lalala party all day and rock all night" and "can't someone else do it" and "Where's MINE? Give me NOW (for free)!"

Ook ook.


Edit: (also I often don't feel knowledgable to comment on a lot of the issues discussed here, though I take great interest in reading them. So when I see something I can relate to AND coment on, I kinda indulge myself)

[The Good Reverend Roger]

And "HOLY FUCK I thought I was doing good but people my age are buying houses and getting married and OH GOD 30 is getting closer"

1.  On what kind of mortgages?  In a sinking market?   

2.  Getting married for the sake of getting married is the 3rd dumbest thing you can do.

[Luna]

And "HOLY FUCK I thought I was doing good but people my age are buying houses and getting married and OH GOD 30 is getting closer"

1.  On what kind of mortgages?  In a sinking market?   

2.  Getting married for the sake of getting married is the 3rd dumbest thing you can do.

What are the first 2 dumbest?

I can think of "have a kid to save a marriage," off the top of my head.