Mother, Mother Ocean

[Cramulus]

Join me on a 5-minute trip into the Twilight Zone. From the "High Weirdness"  file, I present to you

"Mother, Mother Ocean"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwwyCW10i7Q

This news clip from 2007 documents the mind-warping tale of a cthulhu-esque sea monster which attacked a woman in Rhode Island. It is simultaneously a hoax and a clumsy cover-up by the alien creatures which control our world.

Here are my favorite moments:

0:30 - This otherwordly entity, disguised as a human named Sean Daly, isn't put together too well. I don't know what it really is, but its not a human. There's something *off* about him and I can't put my finger on it.

He leads into the article with the perfect Lovecraftian hook: "Imagine swimming *mindlessly* in the late afternoon sun." Swimming mindlessly.



1:12 - This woman's acting is better than anybody else in the video

2:02 - a brief closeup of the couple's hands, interlocked. This is meant to show us the tattoo on the webbing between his thumb and index finger. You guys seeing this? What is it? A scorpion? I think it looks like one of Lovecraft's "Old ones" -



2:10 - The woman's fiance is identified as Dennis, even though at 1:59 she called him Danny. Anyway, Dennis describes how he pulled his fiance away from the monster. In this thick Rhode Island accent he goes "So I grabbed it by the ass, uh, 'rear end'..." <3

2:22 - "Rachel, swim, don't turn around no matter what you heah".

2:41 - Dennis describes the monster as having a head 'like a basketball' - second time that verbiage is used. Dennis punches that thing right in the face. What a bad ass.

3:20 - A mysterious twist. The monster was attracted to the extremely high quantity of *blood* in the water. A mysterious guy named Joey Malo said he bled nonstop for over an hour. When the cameras show him, he's wearing a hat, turned to face away from the camera, his face obscured. We never find out why he was bleeding, but apparently there was so much blood he's still cleaning it off 3 days later.

4:00 -  I love the hand motions Dennis is making to describe the creature's movement.

4:15 - Dennis describes the existential horror he's faced since the monster attack: "I been goin to bed with things grabbin me, wrappin around my neck, choking, fightin' underground, everything" - I just want to highlight 'fighting underground' cause it's just such a weird phrase.

4:30 - Pod person disguised as a human Sean Daly comes back to the studio and assures us that reality is okay, nothing is wrong. Consume, obey. Scientists say it must have been a tropical fish! This has the veneer of some Man in Black coming on the news and saying "There's no such thing as UFOs... that was just ... swamp gas."



4:37 - Sean's non-sequitur closing line, "Mother, mother ocean." He says it reverently, almost like a prayer.

What is he? What was this? What the fuck did I just watch? This whole episode is very unsettling. We are floating on the surface of the water above a vast abyss, ignorant of its depths.

[Eater of Clowns]

Sean Daly was hired as a media liaison at my place of employment, for two weeks. He performed no duties, and was let go for reasons unknown.

[Cramulus]

So--definitely a pod person or Man in Black, right? In my reading, he's employed by the alien reptar invaders to do PR cover for their weird fuckups and reality breaches.

[minuspace]

We had to start a fear campaign about that body of water because in it's depths we would otherwise find the heart of that tautological machinery which binds us to this earth in service perpetual to the old ones.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

The sea monster is almost definitely this: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Phocoena_phocoena.2.jpg

the newscaster monster is much more interesting.

[minuspace]

Snot it.  She said it had nostrils, porpoises don't.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Snot it.  She said it had nostrils, porpoises don't.

She said lotsa dumbshit things, she's from FahlReev.

[minuspace]

Snot it.  She said it had nostrils, porpoises don't.

She said lotsa dumbshit things, she's from FahlReev.

Fine.  But then what about all that blood.  Only a beast sporting an olfactory bulb could explain how that makes sense. Totally an apex predator that we're dealing with here.  Lucky someone was left alive to warn us.