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Fuck the South!

Started by National Public Radio, November 11, 2004, 12:46:22 AM

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National Public Radio

November 11, 2004, 12:46:22 AM
Fuck the South! Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it,Äôs a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It,Äôs your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That,Äôs right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It,Äôs too easy, asshole, they,Äôre blue states. It,Äôs not your money, assholes, it,Äôs fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let,Äôs talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It,Äôs fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that,Äôs right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that,Äôs just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.



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NPR is made possible from generous donations from moveon.org and Michael Moore.  But we are non-partisan.  Honest.

Slarti

#1
November 11, 2004, 01:03:54 AM
wow that containts one hell of a lot of generalizations.

National Public Radio

#2
November 11, 2004, 01:10:15 AM
Slarty,

Go to the original site(www.fuckthesouth.com) and you'll see inside the article there are many of those words linked to other pages that explain the "generalizations." This is just a copy after all.
NPR is made possible from generous donations from moveon.org and Michael Moore.  But we are non-partisan.  Honest.

Slarti

#3
November 11, 2004, 01:13:34 AM
it's a generalization to assume that everyone in the south thinks in the way that website says they do.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
November 11, 2004, 01:15:56 AM


RAH!
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

B23.77

#5
November 11, 2004, 01:19:21 AM
What are those?  South park mits?

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
November 11, 2004, 01:20:00 AM
Quote from: BoltWhat are those?  South park mits?

You aren't cleared for that information, citizen.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Slarti

#7
November 11, 2004, 01:22:16 AM
i think they're +5 gloves of anti-NPR. roger was trying to shield us.


if you want real, factual, true, unbiased information, check out http://www.timecube.com and http://www.abovegod.com

Slarti

#8
November 11, 2004, 01:25:52 AM
and by the way, why do people always come here to post strange stuff like this?

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
November 11, 2004, 01:26:34 AM
Quote from: Slartibartfast++i think they're +5 gloves of anti-NPR. roger was trying to shield us.


if you want real, factual, true, unbiased information, check out http://www.timecube.com and http://www.abovegod.com

Actually, I was cheering him on.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
November 11, 2004, 01:27:08 AM
Quote from: Slartibartfast++and by the way, why do people always come here to post strange stuff like this?

Um...Please to look at the top of the page, senor.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Slarti

#11
November 11, 2004, 01:30:15 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Slartibartfast++i think they're +5 gloves of anti-NPR. roger was trying to shield us.


if you want real, factual, true, unbiased information, check out http://www.timecube.com and http://www.abovegod.com

Actually, I was cheering him on.


oh. well FINE THEN!

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger
Quote from: Slartibartfast++and by the way, why do people always come here to post strange stuff like this?

Um...Please to look at the top of the page, senor.

haha point taken

bucket of truth

#12
November 11, 2004, 02:06:43 AM
Quoteit's a generalization to assume that everyone in the south thinks in the way that website says they do.

y0u'r3 ju57 m4d b3c4u53 175 7ru3
if you can read this, you're too damn close! - joseph of aramathea

Slarti

#13
November 11, 2004, 02:34:26 AM
1f j00 t@lk3d w1th n0rm@l l3tt3$, maybe someone would care what you had to say.

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
November 11, 2004, 02:35:55 AM
Quote from: Slartibartfast++1f j00 t@lk3d w1th n0rm@l l3tt3$, maybe someone would care what you had to say.

MUST..NOT...GO...INTO...CHEF...MODE...
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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