HEY OREGON, WE'RE JUST AS WEIRD AS YOU ARE!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think that falling into a machine that BREAKS UP CLUMPS OF TREE BARK WITH 7 INCH TINES counts as something that most people would not have imagined.

And, I mean, Kelso.

Yeah, but it's also the "afraid to click on links" kind of "would not have  imagined".

Oregon has a gentle spiraling self-destruction that is bemusing. In Washington, people have for-profit horse sex parties where a guy gets fucked to death by a stallion.

Oregon headlines make you go 

Washington headlines make you go 

[East Coast Hustle]

Yeah, we have a tendency to get bored and quit fucking around.

Sometimes it goes wrong.

[East Coast Hustle]

Or, put another way, it's what PDX might be like if it wasn't so damn NICE there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Or, put another way, it's what PDX might be like if it wasn't so damn NICE there.

Yes, exactly.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Newcomers often mistakenly call it "passive-aggressive", but actually, it's that they're really freaking us out and we don't know how to respond. So we scurry away and make an art project about it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, there's something about the Portland mannerism that really fucks up communications with people who aren't from here. People from San Francisco and Oakland kind of get it, but from anywhere else, it's a trainwreck of crossed wires waiting to happen. In person, people think we're too nice, passive, and polite. In writing, people think we're giant dicks who put things way too bluntly. People who are from here tend to say whatever they're thinking, but somehow the delivery softens it too much and nobody can hear it, or they get confused by the gentleness of the delivery and accuse us of being passive-aggressive. I think it's because we talk slowly and tend not to be very loud. That and talking in newscaster english probably confuses people. Keep on fucking that chicken!

[East Coast Hustle]

Even our pervs are weird and vaguely (or overtly) threatening:

http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/police-light-rail-masturbator-investigated-multipl/nfCmz/

http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/police-say-sex-offender-went-rampage-streetsweeper/nfChg/

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Even our pervs are weird and vaguely (or overtly) threatening:

http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/police-light-rail-masturbator-investigated-multipl/nfCmz/

http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/police-say-sex-offender-went-rampage-streetsweeper/nfChg/

Seattle is scary!

[East Coast Hustle]

In all fairness, the street sweeper rampage was somewhere in the south end, which is basically if Gresham had a million people and was half of a large county.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In all fairness, the street sweeper rampage was somewhere in the south end, which is basically if Gresham had a million people and was half of a large county.

Annnnnnnnnnd you're not helping make me any less scared.

[President Television]

Also, there's something about the Portland mannerism that really fucks up communications with people who aren't from here. People from San Francisco and Oakland kind of get it, but from anywhere else, it's a trainwreck of crossed wires waiting to happen. In person, people think we're too nice, passive, and polite. In writing, people think we're giant dicks who put things way too bluntly. People who are from here tend to say whatever they're thinking, but somehow the delivery softens it too much and nobody can hear it, or they get confused by the gentleness of the delivery and accuse us of being passive-aggressive. I think it's because we talk slowly and tend not to be very loud. That and talking in newscaster english probably confuses people. Keep on fucking that chicken!

I kinda want to move there now.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Also, there's something about the Portland mannerism that really fucks up communications with people who aren't from here. People from San Francisco and Oakland kind of get it, but from anywhere else, it's a trainwreck of crossed wires waiting to happen. In person, people think we're too nice, passive, and polite. In writing, people think we're giant dicks who put things way too bluntly. People who are from here tend to say whatever they're thinking, but somehow the delivery softens it too much and nobody can hear it, or they get confused by the gentleness of the delivery and accuse us of being passive-aggressive. I think it's because we talk slowly and tend not to be very loud. That and talking in newscaster english probably confuses people. Keep on fucking that chicken!

I kinda want to move there now.

It's an interesting place to live, that's for sure!

[East Coast Hustle]

I would say that it is hands-down the best "big" city to live in in the USA and whichever city is 2nd best is a VERY distant second so there's no point in Seattle and SF even arguing over it. Plus, it's SO AFFORDABLE. Which is good because it is almost completely impossible to make money!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I would say that it is hands-down the best "big" city to live in in the USA and whichever city is 2nd best is a VERY distant second so there's no point in Seattle and SF even arguing over it. Plus, it's SO AFFORDABLE. Which is good because it is almost completely impossible to make money!

LOL AFFORDABLE

So yesterday I learned a lot of things about the Columbia Slough floodplain, and one of the things I learned is that median income for the employees of industry on the floodplain is about $72,000, while the median income for the employees in Portland's hippest neighborhoods is $23,000. So, none of the people who work on Mississippi or Alberta or Hawthorne can actually afford to live there. Or anywhere, really.

[East Coast Hustle]

Yep. Portland was cheap as shit to live in for me when I was there (at least, compared to Seattle or New England), I just had to make my money in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STATE.