The Liber Pi

[Peter Arkshire]

The Universe is but a map of the Universe, on a one inch equals one inch scale. No one is quite sure what to use it for, which is why it has been rolled up and put away (and if you didn,Äôt know the Universe was rolled up, then study superstring theory). Written above your body, and moving with your movements, is a big invisible bright red sign saying ,ÄúYOU ARE HERE,Äù. This is all you know on Earth, and all you need to know. Do you believe that?

- St. Zor, <i>Re-inflating The Tire On The Wheel Of The Law</i>

The Bible. Plato's Republic. The Koran. Summa Theologica. Thus Spoke Zarathustra. The Bible II: Jehovah's Revenge. The Communist Manifesto. Finnegan's Wake. The Principia Discordia. The Bible III: Jesus vs. Harry Potter - the Final Showdown! The Illuminatus trilogy. Indeed do many things come to pass.

Every age has its great books that define and influence the generations to come. The Liber Pi may not such a book, but, like an anthropological treatise on Florida Indians, it is certainly a seminole work in its genre. Recounting the enlightenment-related antics of such figures as St. Zor, Cheesus the Dairy Messiah, and Zen alchemist Satori Arepo in Elsewhere, Land of Eternal Wednesdays.

<i>This is not just another half-tukhussed attempt at a derivative 'Discordian holy book'</i> It has purple text in it! PURPLE TEXT! You cannot resist the purple text! Succumb or be succumbed!

<A HREF="http://squid314.homestead.com/files/liberpi.doc">The Liber Pi</A> in .doc format - for initiates and neophytes
<A HREF="http://squid314.homestead.com/files/liberpi.htm">The Liber Pi</A> in .htm format - for those who have transcended the crass desire for image links that actually work

[Rev Thwack]

don't you just love random people spamming the boards trying to get us to go buy/read their crap without even bothering to take the time to register and maby talk to us a bit first. Hell, if they did that maby they would realize that most of us spend so much time on here just trying to keep up with the posting flow that we don't have time to go read other crap. Well, at least he gave us his URL so we know who should be punished.




Quick, to the bat-computer!

[Peter Arkshire]

In case you're curious, this is how the above post came out in an alternate Universe where a freaking DISCORDIAN forum didn't prohibit the use of HTML. Honestly.

The Universe is but a map of the Universe, on a one inch equals one inch scale. No one is quite sure what to use it for, which is why it has been rolled up and put away (and if you didn,Äôt know the Universe was rolled up, then study superstring theory). Written above your body, and moving with your movements, is a big invisible bright red sign saying ,ÄúYOU ARE HERE,Äù. This is all you know on Earth, and all you need to know. Do you believe that?

- St. Zor, Re-inflating The Tire On The Wheel Of The Law

The Bible. Plato's Republic. The Koran. Summa Theologica. Thus Spoke Zarathustra. The Bible II: Jehovah's Revenge. The Communist Manifesto. Finnegan's Wake. The Principia Discordia. The Bible III: Jesus vs. Harry Potter - the Final Showdown! The Illuminatus trilogy. Indeed do many things come to pass.

Every age has its great books that define and influence the generations to come. The Liber Pi may not such a book, but, like an anthropological treatise on Florida Indians, it is certainly a seminole work in its genre. Recounting the enlightenment-related antics of such figures as St. Zor, Cheesus the Dairy Messiah, and Zen alchemist Satori Arepo in Elsewhere, Land of Eternal Wednesdays.

This is not just another half-tukhussed attempt at a derivative 'Discordian holy book' It has purple text in it! PURPLE TEXT! You cannot resist the purple text! Succumb or be succumbed!

http://squid314.homestead.com/files/liberpi.doc
http://squid314.homestead.com/files/liberpi.htm
[/url]

[Rev Thwack]

and it's even better when they repost their previous post in the same thread and insult our board at the same time.




Quick, to the bat-DoS-type-thingy!

[Peter Arkshire]

Yes. I want you to buy my stuff. Please, give all of your money to the paypal account I so thoughtfully provided above.

Have pity, o adept, on one who has not yet transcended to that plane wherein one realizes that a forum for Discordian literature does not actually want literary works relating to Discordianism.

[Rev Thwack]

dude, all I'm sayin is take time to register and get to know us. Don't just decide that we want to be hit by forum spam.... I get enough pink meat in my e-mail.

[Peter Arkshire]

Oh, absolutely. After that reception, my desire to spend even more time with you is like a burning rage that no amount of willpower can resist. Will you marry me and live beside me always, so I never have to cease listening to your friendly, welcoming communication ever again?

The "truth" is, for the past N years, N being a number somewhere between two and four that I can't remember at the moment, I have been reading Discordian "literary" "works" by people such as yourself, enjoying them very much, and even having certain documents I posted on the internet quoted in them without any acknowledgement or attribution (not that I mind, but apparently people both do like my stuff and are not operating on APA levels of academic formality here). Thus, I made the WILD assumption that, having written something up, some people might be interested in reading it, and that Discordians, of all people, would realize that, if they were not, their browser, if sufficiently advanced, gives them the option not to click on it.

If you appreciate this work, good. If not, then, as the Elbonians say, in a race between a duck and a pig, don't varnish your clams.

And that is all I have to say on this matter, as it has become dreadfully serious and rather sad.

[Rev Thwack]

You know, I love it when someone can come here, not register, try to promote their this or that, and then try to make me look like the bad guy for telling them that we would be a lot more likely to pay attention to them in a good way if they would first take a little time (1 hour, 1 day... anything) to get to know us and let us know them, or barring that at least took the 2 minutes it takes to register. Of course, then there is the fact that every now and then you get quotes like this:

In case you're curious, this is how the above post came out in an alternate Universe where a freaking DISCORDIAN forum didn't prohibit the use of HTML. Honestly.

before they even start to see how people are going to react to them.

[Bella]

Actually, I'm already reading it....or rather reading the table of Malcontents.
And so far, it's kinda cracking me up.

I'm afraid I can't give you any money via paypal, however, as my paypal account is set up to accept money only.
Thwack makes some very good points, though.
You should wait and see how we react before getting huffy.

[Rupert Giles]

You know, I love it when someone can come here, not register, try to promote their this or that, and then try to make me look like the bad guy for telling them that we would be a lot more likely to pay attention to them in a good way if they would first take a little time (1 hour, 1 day... anything) to get to know us and let us know them, or barring that at least took the 2 minutes it takes to register. Of course, then there is the fact that every now and then you get quotes like this:

In case you're curious, this is how the above post came out in an alternate Universe where a freaking DISCORDIAN forum didn't prohibit the use of HTML. Honestly.

before they even start to see how people are going to react to them.

You think he might have had the intelligence of a chimp and realised that over on Options is says 'HTML is OFF/BBCode is ON.'

[Peter Arkshire]

I'm far too paranoid to register, Reverend. Peter Arkshire isn't even my real name. I didn't actually write that book and I disagree with everything in it, and I actually agree with you on all points. It's all just part of a clever plot to fool THE MAN. Tell me, Reverend Thwack, are you THE MAN?

And...well...Dream...I really do hate to say bad things about a forum where I've received such a marvelously wonderful reception thus far, but you have to admit it is kind of weird for a Discordian forum to sacrifice niftiness for security. Suspicious indeed. Tell me, Dream of the Endless, are you THE MAN? This is exactly the kind of way that he would try and take attention off himself.

[Rupert Giles]

I'm far too paranoid to register, Reverend. Peter Arkshire isn't even my real name. I didn't actually write that book and I disagree with everything in it, and I actually agree with you on all points. It's all just part of a clever plot to fool THE MAN. Tell me, Reverend Thwack, are you THE MAN?

And...well...Dream...I really do hate to say bad things about a forum where I've received such a marvelously wonderful reception thus far, but you have to admit it is kind of weird for a Discordian forum to sacrifice niftiness for security. Suspicious indeed. Tell me, Dream of the Endless, are you THE MAN? This is exactly the kind of way that he would try and take attention off himself.

Your methods of trying to get us to not be pissed at you by pretending to be one of us who all along has been pulling a mindfuck will not work.

And yes.  I am the man.

My sister is also the man.  If I'm the Man, she's the Man's Daddy.

Now 'you had best step, Holmes.'

'Word to your mothers.'

[Peter Arkshire]

Your methods of trying to get us to not be pissed at you by pretending to be one of us who all along has been pulling a mindfuck will not work.

Pretending to be one of you who all along has been pulling a mindfuck? Why, I could never be that clever!

[Rupert Giles]

Your methods of trying to get us to not be pissed at you by pretending to be one of us who all along has been pulling a mindfuck will not work.

Pretending to be one of you who all along has been pulling a mindfuck? Why, I could never be that clever!

You're trying anouther method again.  They will all fail.

Just as you.

You FAIL it.

Thank you.  Please collect your mind as your spirit leaves this plane of existance.  Body will be cremated and sent to relatives.

[Rev Thwack]

Although I can't claim to be "the man", I do work for "the man", which is the best place to be if you ever want to trip up "the man" and leave "the man" wondering just what the hell he is going on.



And I love the whole "paranoid to register" bit. That's great to see when you need absolutly nothing in the way of real data to register.


Oh, and if you do ever decide that you want to try and do a good job mindfucking a discordian forum, check out a few that have been done here.... there have been some good ones over the years and I'm sure you could learn a thing or two from them.