Eddie Brock left symbiote remnants in my bowels [Warning: Describes feces]

Started by POFP, May 18, 2015, 07:47:55 PM

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POFP

May 18, 2015, 07:47:55 PM
The Buffalo Wild Wings in my city gets experimental menus and sauces and shit, just like several others around the country. The Ghost Pepper has been getting popular, so they decided to let us try Ghost Pepper Blazin sauce.

Blazin sauce is the hottest sauce they have there. But I can watch a show and eat the original Blazin wings, no problem. It gives you the runner's high that spicy stuff is supposed to give you. It tastes good. It's all good. The new Ghost Pepper stuff is so hot it makes you wanna die. It's not an upper, it's a downer.

So, after eating a snack order (About 6-7 wings), my stomach hurt like a motherfucker. All day. And all night. A few days later, I had a shit that kept me from laying down or sitting at an angle afterwards because it felt like something was just gonna run out. But that's not even the worst part. It wasn't shit in the toilet afterwards. No. It was a piece of the black symbiote that gave Eddie Brock his venom powers from the Spiderman comics. When I flushed the toilet, it looked fucking alive as tendrils stuck to the bowl and stretched and snapped back to the pitch-black, shiny mass. It went down with a fucking fight. And I'm not exaggerating. I'm not saying "there was just a slight resemblance, but you could tell it was shit." It didn't look like feces AT ALL. If you want to know exactly what it looked like, watch Spiderman 3. It changed in size and shape and everything.

So, the question is, where the fuck are my venom powers? And if I do have them, will they originate from my anus?
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

LMNO

#1
May 18, 2015, 07:52:47 PM
Yes.

POFP

#2
May 18, 2015, 08:02:37 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 18, 2015, 07:52:47 PM
Yes.

I know that great responsibility comes with great power. But what about awful, unhelpful powers? Because it seems that the only thing that comes with this power is symptoms of indigestion. NOT responsibility.
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

LMNO

#3
May 18, 2015, 08:05:52 PM
This is not the hero we want.  This is the hero we deserve.

POFP

#4
May 18, 2015, 08:07:01 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on May 18, 2015, 08:05:52 PM
This is not the hero we want.  This is the hero we deserve.

:lulz: :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Eater of Clowns

#5
May 18, 2015, 08:37:05 PM
 :lulz:
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Cain

#6
May 18, 2015, 08:53:45 PM
Nope.  You shat out your superpowers.  Tough shit.

You're meant to wear them, not flush them.  Now some rat is going to get your superpowers.

POFP

#7
May 18, 2015, 09:07:52 PM
Quote from: Cain on May 18, 2015, 08:53:45 PM
Nope.  You shat out your superpowers.  Tough shit.

You're meant to wear them, not flush them.  Now some rat is going to get your superpowers.

FUCK.

Welp, back to Buffalo Wild Wings. I'll tell you how the bathing in "feces" goes. I wonder if I'll get the cool teeth, too...
This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.

Faust

#8
May 18, 2015, 09:16:50 PM
You laugh about it now, but somewhere out there, there is black stinking liver damage crap with a grudge. It's going to bide its time, build up its strength and when you least suspect it, its going to crawl back into its home.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

POFP

#9
May 18, 2015, 09:28:16 PM
Quote from: Faust on May 18, 2015, 09:16:50 PM
You laugh about it now, but somewhere out there, there is black stinking liver damage crap with a grudge. It's going to bide its time, build up its strength and when you least suspect it, its going to crawl back into its home.

:eek:  :horrormirth:

This Certified Pope™ reserves the Right to, on occasion, "be a complete dumbass", and otherwise ponder "idiotic" and/or "useless" ideas and other such "tomfoolery." [Aforementioned] are only responsible for the results of these actions and tendencies when they have had their addictive substance of choice for that day.

Being a Product of their Environment's Collective Order and Disorder, [Aforementioned] also reserves the Right to have their ideas, technologies, and otherwise all Intellectual Property stolen, re-purposed, and re-attributed at Will ONLY by other Certified Popes. Corporations, LLC's, and otherwise Capitalist-based organizations are NOT capable of being Certified Popes.

Battering Rams not included.
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