Merry Cursemas!

[Cramulus]

In my neck of the woods, Christmas Eve-Eve is celebrated as CURSEMAS, a holiday on which you may bestow minor curses onto people.


For example,

BDS: I curse you so that next time you get an erection, you momentarily think of Justin Beiber

Richter: I curse you to get no effects from caffeine for the next 24 hours.

Roger: I curse you to accidentally sit on a stool at the meatrack which is covered in inexplicable slime.

Cain: I curse you with a passing but fervent belief in right wing talking points.

Eater of Clowns: I curse you to perform at least one verse from Jailhouse Rock for your coworkers

Suu: I curse you to use the word Smurf randomly for the next 24 hours

Rev. What's-His-Name?: I curse you with "phantom I've gotta pee" syndrome

LMNO: I curse you with whiskey dick

Squid: I curse you with with the ability to read minds, but only when they're thinking something rude about you

Lysergic: I curse you to be known as "Magic Fingers" by your relatives

Able: I curse you to find out the true meaning of kumquats

Charley Brown: I curse you to accidentally say "Merry meet" and "blessed be" for the next 24 hours

Nigel: I curse you an unheard of medical condition nobody will even believe you have. Symptoms include storming around your house in a bathrobe, issuing people tickets for every way that they have failed to muster proper holiday cheer, and a mild headache.

BadBeast: I curse you with a temporary obsession with psoriases. Pictures of it will arouse you.

Cuddlefist: I curse you to listen to smooth jazz for 4 and a half minutes. No more or you will become ensorcelled and get your band to play covers of it.

Burns: I curse you to only be able to watch reruns for 24 hours.

Vex: I curse you with an itchy asshole

The Dancing Pickle: To everybody else it will seem like you have a runny nose. Only you will know the truth - it's not mucus, it's ghost jizz.

DOKTOR EKTO: I curse your cell phone to die at an inopportune time

Lord Glittersnatch: I curse you with an allergy to pencils for 24 hours.

BabylonHoruv: GET YOUR DICK OUT OF THAT FISH, YOU FISH FUCKER!

Remington: I curse you to hear your name called in the distance but it's nobody

Hoopla: I curse you to spill something red on your wonderful suit.


The first person to reply to this thread: I curse you with the compulsion to come up with at least 5 more curses.






apologies to anybody I missed!

[LMNO]

In my neck of the woods, Christmas Eve-Eve is celebrated as CURSEMAS, a holiday on which you may bestow minor curses onto people.


For example,

LMNO: I curse you with whiskey dick

This you call a minor curse?

Cramulus, I curse you to believe for five minutes that you life is really fairly dull.

Cramulus, I curse you to understand how silly LARPing actually is. (Yes, I cursed you twice)

Kai, I curse you to defending Intelligent Design for an entire cocktail party.

Fred, I curse you with antipathy towards Syracuse Basketball for an entire season.

Jenne, I curse you with assless chaps.   











Ok, that last one was more for my own benefit.

[Adios]

I'm just glad that I'm NOT BDS! 

Cramulus, I curse you to speak in bad rhymes.

[bds]

it already happened. FML.

[AFK]

Mangrove:  I curse your IPOD (or any other audio replication device) to only play Kenny G for the next 72 hours.  

LHX:  I have cursed your carriage to be stuck in a ditch, never to return.

Grade 7 Pannus:  I curse you to be stranded in a telephone booth with Ambassador Klok Kaos. He'll probably "sing".  

Squid:  I curse your hubby with an uncontrollable urge to send all of his synth toys to me.  

Roger:  When you log onto pd.com, no pd.com.  Just sigils.  Lots and lots of sigils.  

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Nigel: I curse you an unheard of medical condition nobody will even believe you have. Symptoms include storming around your house in a bathrobe, issuing people tickets for every way that they have failed to muster proper holiday cheer, and a mild headache.

Wait, I think I already have that.

[Cramulus]

Triple Zero: I curse you to make Turkey puns even though everybody you're hanging out with in Turkey is just gonna roll their eyes.

Pixie and Payne: I curse you to refer to each other as "bro" and "sis" next time you hook up.

Coyote: I curse you to have eye crust all day and nobody points it out

Sigmatic: I curse you to hear the word "Christmas" as "gang rape"

Nast: I curse you to start cleaning something and only make it messier in the process and then give up

Phox: Bad Hair Day

Rumckle: I curse you to lose your keys and then find them, after some frustration, in a place you already looked

EOT: I curse you to only be able to speak in sentence fragments for 10 straight minutes. (has to be while in the presence of others)

Requia: I curse you to send overly joyous holiday text messages which will make people wonder if some holiday crazed lunatic has gotten ahold of your phone

Hover Cat: Today, all fruit tastes like pee to you.

Dr. Blight: I curse you to sneeze right before you have to shake hands with somebody

Ratatosk: I curse you to wear panties under your clothes and, if discovered, try to play it off like you just shop at Victor's Secret and there's nothing weird about that

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Everyone: I curse you that sometime in the next week you will have a brief but incredibly frustrating Internet outage right when you are eagerly anticipating watching an extremely amusing Youtube video, which you found while otherwise in a state of utter helpless boredom.

[hooplala]

Not my white suit!

Lawsy lawsy lawsy!

[Jenne]

@ LMNO

I like this idea!  Huzzah for Cursemas!

LMNO:  I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.

RWHN:  I curse you to rhyme only in quatrains till someone begs you to stop 5 times in a row.

CRAM:  I curse you to find no fake mustaches appealing for the entire weekend.

Rog:  I curse you to a holiday in Tucson (I can only say this because I know he has the antidote being surrounded by his wine, women and song!)

Squid:  I curse you to be blessed with more Santa Cupcakes for Further Adventuring

Kai:  I curse you to be stuck with much snow since the San Diego sun did not sit well with your December ideals

ECH:  I curse you with great ability to smell good food that you are not allowed to eat or create

000:  I Turkey curse you.  (C'mon, it was too easy, apologies if this is doubly done)

EoC:  I curse you with a dispatch call about a car full of clowns

[Adios]

@ LMNO

I like this idea!  Huzzah for Cursemas!

LMNO:  I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.

THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING

[Jenne]

Hoops:  I curse you with all the Toronto Beer Store sales you can handle, and then some

Burns:  I curse you with ultimate WOMP creativity that will make grown men cry and babies projectile vomit

Pix:  I curse you with many sandwich meats and bread to make the ultimate sandwich feast

Payne:  I curse you with an empty stomach so you can be fed on ultimate sandwich feast

Nimh:  I curse you with awesome powers of hearing and sight so you can see Christmas well-wishers a mile away and thus avoid them for the rest of the weekend!

[Jenne]

@ LMNO

I like this idea!  Huzzah for Cursemas!

LMNO:  I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.

THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING

HAWK:  I just cursed you with the same!

[Adios]

@ LMNO

I like this idea!  Huzzah for Cursemas!

LMNO:  I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.

THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING

HAWK:  I just cursed you with the same!

[AFK]

@ LMNO

I like this idea!  Huzzah for Cursemas!

LMNO:  I curse you to only notice boobs for the next 24 hours.

THIS IS NOT CURSE, IS BLESSING

No, I think for LMNO, it is a typical Thursday.