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I'm thinking about starting rumors concerning what secrets are in the WikiLeaks insurance file, such as Obama's Kenyan birth certificate

Do it!

This sounds like something that require some really cool lookin' stationary.

In the latest issue of Rolling Stone Lady Gaga references a recurring dream in which a phantom tries to get her to perform an Illuminati ritual. Is this a coincedence or did somebody here actually send her a letter telling her to mention a dream with honey mustard and self-mutilation (it's a pretty messed up dream) ?

Though given that Playboy gets lots of SRS letters from SRSLY crazy conspiracy theorists... you may really need to go Over The Top to get any notice.

Though given that Playboy gets lots of SRS letters from SRSLY crazy conspiracy theorists... you may really need to go Over The Top to get any notice.

What would be Over the Top though? Should I accuse Gen. David Petraeus of preparing a coup against the President (apparently this is an actual rumor floating around Congress)? I can't think of anything that really fits into the good cop/bad cop routine. The American Dynasty thing, Stephen Colbert is actually the President, Sarah Palin and the apocalypse...yeah, I don't know. I got nuthin'. Thoughts?

Thanks...but where the Hell is everybody else?

Finals.

But it's like June. I've had finals twice already by this time (regular Spring semester and then the 1 month May-mester) and you're just getting around to the first round? Gotta catch up man.

Thanks...but where the Hell is everybody else?

is technology, progressive?

YES!

So here's the letter I've been writing. What do you guys think?


Dear Hef,

As I'm sure you've noticed, political apathy is on the rise. And I know that this must really sadden someone like you who has been such a tireless champion of many worthwhile causes over the years. The good news, I suppose is that the turnout for the last Presidential election was the best it's been since Nixon (hmmm) but the bad news is that it's all a scam (politics I mean). And I mean that literally. You know this. It's your classic good cop, bad cop. The bad cop tells us trade our (social) freedom for (economic) security, while the good cop tells us to trade in our economic freedoms for our social freedoms. It's a two man, con is what it is! But what you don't know (what nobody knows) is that it's not even a two man con – it's a one man con. Ever wonder why things never seem to change at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Ever wonder why even diametrically opposed Presidents like Bush and Obama seem to have so many of the same policies? It's not because of the "pressures of the job" or any of that nonsense, it's because there's really only one man in Washington. Or Philadelphia actually (the real capitol never moved). That's all I can tell you for now, 'till I know that you're ready to hear the truth (I know that you've got a lot on your plate). I'll send you the second piece of the puzzle in my next letter.

Sincerely,

Eric Burke

Aaah, ok, I kinda lost the OP in all of the replies.

The idea is to send 1,000 letters to Playboy in which we attempt to connect every known conspiracy theory to a specific Discordian cabal. So who's in?

Did you mean each conspiracy we cite is connected to a different cabal, or that they are all the machinations of a single cabal (the former is a tad more believable).

In retrospect I think that maybe the total amount of letters should go down from 1,000 (which now seems overly ambitious) to 100. The original idea was to continue AbbyGasm (in which we wrote about 7 letters) except in a slightly different direction. The concept was supposed to involve connecting existing Discordian cabals to existing conspiracy theories. I thought that it would be easier to do it like this if we didn't have to generate our own conspiracy theories, but I don't see anything wrong with the way things have developed (fake cabals and brand new theories). The real point of all this was simply creating a totally insane long-term plan.

I think we should avoid any obvious 'Discord' memes (but they're good placeholders), as Hef will(might?) probably remember who R.A.W. was.

You know, the more I hear people saying that we shouldn't do anything that would lead someone back to this board the more I think that's exactly what we should be doing. Isn't everyone always saying that we need more media exposure? How else are we supposed to get it? The actual discussions that are going on on this board are way spookier than any conspiracy theory we could ever come up with. Think about, we're a bunch of people intentionally trying to cause chaos and confusion.

And what is up with this don't mention RAW stuff anyway? Do you really think Hef personally remembers every teeny tiny detail about everyone he's ever employed and everything those people have ever written? This is Playboy for crying out loud! He's been in this business for like 55 years now and in all that time, how often has the word "Eris" ever been used in the magazine? I bet even Playboy's review of Illuminatus! doesn't mention Her and yet, magically, everybody here really thinks that the people who answer the letters (who may not have even been born when these books were written) will automatically spot the joke as soon as they see that name? Come ooooon! Besides, seeing as how we're creating DIY conspiracy theories, we might as well drop all references to Discordians and just blame everything on the Catholics and Masons (like really real conspiracy theorists do).

Oh and by the way, this line is classic

Trust only the bunnies, Hef.  They are, as ever, blameless. 

/quote]

The creepy thing is that phenomenon you're talking about actually exists, in a way. A recent study suggested that the reason why people find it so hard to avoid texting while driving is that dopamine is actually released to the brain when you get a text message. I think we may need to simplify the "soup" you mentioned though, too many pharmaceutical terms may cause the eyes to glaze over. I'm finishing up a short story right now but I'm gonna get back to my original letter idea soon. I think that our next letter should come from "Eric Burke".

Enjoy:

http://ifile.it/s3tyig7

I wasn't aware that we were into pataphysics. Good to know. I'll add that to my resume.

I made that "Erisian Society & Smoking Club" letterhead mentioned in Telarus' post.

If anyone would like to use it for this project I can post a link to it.

Yes! Post it!

Fucking excellent!

I am working on LMNO's project right now so I won't have much time for letter-writing in the next week or two, but after that I'll work on it.

A thought; hand-writing could become a problem when the handwriting from different parts of the country, same name, doesn't match.

Aww crap. I didn't even think of that. Maybe it could add to the mystery  ? No? Ok, then, in that case, it looks like I've just designated myself as "Barry Stratton". I'm going to be moving soon though, so an address change is inevitable. If there's anyone else that wants to handwrite, they can be "Eric S. Burke". Other than that, I guess we'll just set up email accounts to email Playboy. I'm sure barrystratton@yahoo.com isn't taken (etc).

For future reference, here's Playboy's email address

letters@playboy.com

and their mailing address

730 Fifth Avenue
New York, New York 10019

I'm gonna hand write Nurse Rhizome's letter (see page 2) later on today and send it out tomorrow as Barry Stratton. Or maybe I'll send it today, I don't know if the mail has run already.

*nod*. Another thing I've noticed is that conspiracy theorists and occulty types seem to be (oddly enough) more keen on friending strangers than other types. I became a fan of the crowley page and at least six people tried to friend me on that alone. It should be pretty easy to build up a very strange social network.

We should create a fake fan page for a non-existent conspiracy theorist. So much of modern conspiracy theories is taken from really old stuff that I doubt anyone would even bother to check as long as the conspiracy theory itself wasn't too far fetched. But then again, what's "far-fetched"? In the 1860s, a contract lawyer named Lysander Spooner claimed that the Constitution wasn't really a social contract and basically called for it to be done away with.

Having a blank profile will make the profile look new and incomplete. It's also something that porn spammers do alot. Using a pic of something else is a much better idea. Are we planning on friending this person or just having the profile set up? 'cause it'll look weird if these are the only people on facebook without a hundred friends.