The Enlightenment

[Merciless Heathen]

The Enlightenment revealed itself over the course of a few weeks. I don't know if I could describe it in words anyone could understand. Its like, the universe is composed of souls, embodied and disembodied, and there is the one central axis in the universe that unites the three planes of existence, the Physcial, the Mental, and the Spiritual. All of these spirits, these entities, are constantly at odds with each other. The only thing that makes sense is that nothing makes sense. The two opposing forces in the universe are not good vs evil, black vs white, but rather, order vs chaos, however, when you examine the two quantitatively, you discover that they are in fact, one and the same. The enlightenment came from surrendering myself to these chaotic entities, to understand that there is nothing to be understood, to know that there is nothing to know.
Last night got a little crazy. I haven't told anyone about it yet, so you get to be the first, naturally. I was at Pavlac, expecting another Friday night like any other friday night, a little grass here, a little grass there, a few drinks and a knee-slappin good time. It was like that for the first part. Then these two girls that I had met there on another occasion told me to come sit with them, and they were smoking hashish and wanted me to partake. So I did. My friend Bobesh had rolled a couple joints the size of expensive mechanical pencils, and he told me to follow him into the billiard room upstairs to proceed with the festivities. As the night wore on, most of my friends who were there left, until I was there with the warriors from Agbar, two of which were on extasy and were swaying around the room, touching everything and everyone and laughing hysterically. I was startin to feel a little strange, and then Bobesh goes downstairs and dissapears. He came back several minutes later as giddy as a schoolgirl, and starts shouting something in Czech, I was a little zoned out and didn't catch it, but everyone started grinning like idiots and talking amongst themselves in excited whispers, and then finally he looks at me and says "Patrick, do you like magic mushrooms???" I shot up like something had bit me in the ass. They were selling them five crowns a cap, so I got twenty for a hundred crowns, which is like, five bucks. I had to be home at midnight, and it was already 11:30, so I took my bag of shrooms and got the hell out of the pub, giving my salutes and best regards to my be-dreadlocked barbarian pals as I left. I was already quite zoned out of my gourd when I stopped under a bridge to take a piss. You can piss anywhere in this country, it kicks ass. Everywhere you go, people will be there, standing on the edge of the path, pissing away to their hearts content. So after I finished, I opened my little cellophane of shrooms and emptied half of it into my mouth. I chewed, savored the flavor, and continued on my way. As I was walking, the wind started blowing violently behind me, and it made my coat flare out and swirl around, it almost felt like I was standing still, and the wind was blowing me home, but I knew I was walking. I felt like I was one with the streets and the snow and the night, the wind still swirling around me, and then I got home. I unlocked the door, went upstairs to my room, and put on a pair of boxers to sleep in, then I laid down to read a book. I had actualy almost forgotten about everything while I was reading, and I started to get tired, and then I felt like I needed to go to sleep, so I closed the book, turned off the lamp, and closed my eyes. I opened them again a few mintues later, and something wasn't right. The room was alive. I looked around, and didn't really see anything, until I looked next to the bed, and there was a white face like one of those drama masks, sneering and smiling and jeering at me. Terrified, I turned on the light, and that was when everything got really crazy. The wood grain on the closet doors was dancing about in waves, I kept looking at that closet door, it seemed like it was alive and breathing, the designs on the carpet were slithering in strange spiral patterns, the bedspread began to wave and shimmer like a troubled ocean, and the ceiling, the ceiling was by far the craziest. The ceiling in my room is wood panneling. All those little grains began to shimmer, and all the knots in the wood grain turned into eyes, which opened themselves wider and stared at me with strange expressions, until I began to see faces, and when the faces disappeared, all those little eyes turned into spiders, and began to scurry across the ceiling chaotically. By this time I had my blanket pulled up tight to my chin, and I was begging to giggle hysterically, it seemed as though the room was alive and was giving me one hell of a show. I kept staring at everything over and over again, the eyes on the ceiling kept winking and smiling, the wood grain on the cabinets kept shimmering, I was tempted to pull out the crystal ball or something to see what would happen, but then I though no, this is enough. I had to piss, I stood up. It felt like it was my first time walking. I looked at my feet and noticed that they were cloven, like a pig's. I was trying to keep my balance, all the while crazy circus music was playing in my head like some kind of broken record. I opened the door, and there hovering outside abouve the staircase was great white spectre, which wavered back and forth, seemed to smile, and dissapeared. I walked into the bathroom and pissed. It shot out of like a bullet, and I thought surely I must have soaked everything in the room. I felt around and discerned that that was yet another illusion, and then I looked in the mirror, and discovered I had no face. Only a mouth and the outlin of my head, no eyes, no nose, no nothing. Weird. I walked back into my room stepping like some sort of disembodied marionette, and sat back down on the bed in the dark. I layed down, and rolled onto my stomach, looking up at the window. There was a cactus plant, which silouhetted against the window looked like a man with a sceptre, but I could still tell it was a cactus. I then determined that the cactus was a new god, and that I was to be his first apostle, then I looked closer to area in front of my face, and saw a tiny head about the size of a cranberry pop out from what looked like a cave coming out of the chair behind the bed. Two more popped out, and I realized they were tiny people, tiny little pygmy warriors coming out of their cave to examine the crazy giant which lay prostrate on the bed before them. Directly in line behind them was the Cactus God with his sceptre, ordering his pygmy warriors to capture the beast, and deliver it at once, live or dead, for study.
I lay there in my inherant insanity for quite some time, staring at various objects in the room to see what kind of show they would give me, until finally, the madness began to fade, and the room gradually returned to reality
I closed my eyes and went to sleep. That was two days ago, and everytime I look at the ceiling now, I have to look twice to be sure that the eyes are not staring at me, that the ceiling light is not spinning wildly, that the Cactus God no longer demands my reverence, that the closet is not breathing.  I find myself convinced that I have begun the long journey toward becoming a holy man.

[Horab Fibslager]

i was a holy man wonce, or still am, probaly permanently, but in any case, eating alot of mushrooms will do that to ya, the room dancing and shit.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Eris laughed.

[Solitaire]

You know, I heard about this really great invention once.

I think it was called "paragraphs" or something, I forget.

[Ghost In The Machine]

Please add white spaces.

My poor fucking eyes.  I only got about a third of the way through that.

[LMNO]

We don't need no steeenking coherency...

[Ghost In The Machine]

We don't need no steeenking coherency...

Unless you want people to read your (his) work, of course.

[LMNO]

His.

[exposition]
I was teasing him, too.
[/exposition]

[East Coast Hustle]

interesting words are interesting words whether or not the formalities of grammar and composition are observed. To bow out because said words do not appear as they would in a novel or textbook is both lazy and aneristic.

BS,
thought those were interesting words

[Merciless Heathen]

I wast gettin ready to say Turd, paragraphs and indentions are against my writing style. Well, it depends on what I'm writing, actually, this was supposed to be an email to my sister back in the states. Then I realized if I told her about my crazy ass mushroom trip, she would probably tell Mom, not that my sis is a nark or anything, but she doesn have some trouble keeping her goddamn mouth shut sometimes. I guess some of this could use some explanation. Pavlac is a pub in Frydek-Mistek, where I live, in the east of the Czech Republic. It's where I can be found on any given night (except this night, incidently enough) If you want some killer weed or some Hashish, just ask the bartender. Shrooms are a bit of a rarity. Anyway, Agbar is a local Medieval Martial Arts group. They all have dreadlocks and they all listen to Bob Marley and Rage Against the Machine and all the other shit that people with dreadlocks usually listen to. They also fuckin love to get stoned every single day. At the moment I'm covered from head to toe with bruises from these bastards, they're all pretty fuckin good swordsmen, and training was yesterday.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Yup. Either you read it or you don't. Cheesy excuses like "I need spaces" and all that don't amount to much but a lack of attention span.

Dude's words were a fun read.

[LMNO]

Meh.  If you're too lazy to break up your sentences, I'm too lazy to read 'em.

Fair trade, I guess.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Meh.  If you're too lazy to break up your sentences, I'm too lazy to read 'em.

Fair trade, I guess.

It's a free market, man.

[LMNO]

Adam Smith's Invisible Hand just felt me up.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Adam Smith's Invisible Hand just felt me up.

Sometimes it spanks you too. You just have to smile and give it money and it leaves you alone for a few minutes.