Dearest Roger- this means WAR

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

In light of this recent news about your state's crime against humanity in the form of advertising Keystone as "BEER" I hereby declare war on your pathetic dust storm of a state.
If anyone there actually considers that watery hippo puss to be anything resembling a beer, be it pilsner, lager or otherwise, than they deserve ... TO HAVE TO DRINK IT.

Yup, that's it. Your cactus infested shit plate of a state is hereby CUT OFF of all beer. And I don't mean that rice corn and preservative piss water you melted brained wind heads call beer I mean REAL beer. Made of water, barley, hops and yeast. The way beer fucking SHOULD be made.

As for the guy on the billboards with the mullet.. well, his punishment is obviously to never get laid so long as that unfortunate event exists upon his maggot chewed cereal bowl of a "skull".

What have you got to say for yourselves, you puke!

[Eater of Clowns]

Squiddy, where nightmares are born vs. Arizona, where dreams go to die.

TAKING BETS.  TAKING YOUR BETS.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

In light of this recent news about your state's crime against humanity in the form of advertising Keystone as "BEER" I hereby declare war on your pathetic dust storm of a state.
If anyone there actually considers that watery hippo puss to be anything resembling a beer, be it pilsner, lager or otherwise, than they deserve ... TO HAVE TO DRINK IT.

Yup, that's it. Your cactus infested shit plate of a state is hereby CUT OFF of all beer. And I don't mean that rice corn and preservative piss water you melted brained wind heads call beer I mean REAL beer. Made of water, barley, hops and yeast. The way beer fucking SHOULD be made.

As for the guy on the billboards with the mullet.. well, his punishment is obviously to never get laid so long as that unfortunate event exists upon his maggot chewed cereal bowl of a "skull".

What have you got to say for yourselves, you puke!

I know the bolded, above, must be a typo, but it created a whole new mental image that resulted in

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

That was not a typo madam. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Watery hippo puss has NOTHING on Keystone.

All the people I've seen drink that shit drank it hot, BTW. Because they were the kind to hide beers in the laundry pile.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

aaaaaaaaaand they must be destroyed.

[Freeky]

Why are they hiding beer in the laundry pile?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Why are they hiding beer in the laundry pile?

So their alkie spouses don't take them.

[Freeky]

Why are they hiding beer in the laundry pile?

So their alkie spouses don't take them.

Huh.  That makes sense, I guess.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.

[Freeky]

If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.

I think if you were hiding beer and knew Squiddy, you'd know better than to get Keystone, because you don't come across as suicidal.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.

I think if you were hiding beer and knew Squiddy, you'd know better than to get Keystone, because you don't come across as suicidal.

Keystone is probably almost as bad as death-by-Squiddy, anyway.

[Freeky]

If I was hiding Keystones because I thought my family was going to steal them, I'd just hand Squid an axe and lay my neck across a stump.

I think if you were hiding beer and knew Squiddy, you'd know better than to get Keystone, because you don't come across as suicidal.

Keystone is probably almost as bad as death-by-Squiddy, anyway.

not even close, my friend. Squidday is from Florida.

[Juana]

And Florida, like Ohio, has something fundamentally fucked up about it.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

In light of this recent news about your state's crime against humanity in the form of advertising Keystone as "BEER" I hereby declare war on your pathetic dust storm of a state.
If anyone there actually considers that watery hippo puss to be anything resembling a beer, be it pilsner, lager or otherwise, than they deserve ... TO HAVE TO DRINK IT.

Yup, that's it. Your cactus infested shit plate of a state is hereby CUT OFF of all beer. And I don't mean that rice corn and preservative piss water you melted brained wind heads call beer I mean REAL beer. Made of water, barley, hops and yeast. The way beer fucking SHOULD be made.

As for the guy on the billboards with the mullet.. well, his punishment is obviously to never get laid so long as that unfortunate event exists upon his maggot chewed cereal bowl of a "skull".

What have you got to say for yourselves, you puke!

We await our Floridian liberators.