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Most Wanted, #4 of ?

Started by Doktor Howl, November 30, 2014, 09:29:14 PM

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Doktor Howl



Name:  Bearman  Age:  late 20s/early 30s.  Gender:  Male.  Race:  Native American Jew

The criminal known as "Bearman" is a major player in the underworld sport of illegal, unlicensed needlepoint competitions.  In these brutal bloodsports, octagenarian ladies embroider to the death, with the winner (ie, survivor) being awarded as much money as can be stuffed in a "family size" bag of Doritos.

Bearman was caught once in 2012, but he escaped his holding cell by means of bluffing with a fake gun he knitted, using modified toothbrushes and his cellmate's nerve ganglia.  It is supposed that the guards were more traumatized by the remains of his cellmate, more than frightened by the horrible floppy "gun".

Bearman is currently located somewhere in Houston, where rumors state that he is illegally teaching Texans how to read.
Molon Lube

hooplala

I don't know.... I've seen photos of that knitted gun. It was... intimidating.
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Very well then I contradict myself,
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Ben Shapiro

LOL YES
The Doritos, and the reading part.

EK WAFFLR

You don't fuck with the bear.  :lulz:
"At first I lifted weights.  But then I asked myself, 'why not people?'  Now everyone runs for the fjord when they see me."


Horribly Oscillating Assbasket of Deliciousness
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Doktor Howl

Molon Lube

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"Illegally teaching Texans to read"  :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Reginald Ret

Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

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