IN THIS GASM;
To prove how EDGY and FAROUT Discordians are, we invent new and terrible sexual acts.
1. THE MU-CHAO MANEUVER: Person A spreads ass cheeks as Person B inserts large object (preferably not an object intended for anal use) into rectum of Person A; Person A then performs the same for Person B; Persons A and B then sit on front porch playing banjos in the nude until orgasm is achieved.
the Eye of Sauron:
you give yourself a tobasco enema
then you poise yourself right over your sleeping partner
as soon as they wake up, you release the enema onto them
before the screaming starts, they will see a horrible all seeing eye, wreathed in flame
KYS,FTB.
'nuff said.
Spike Rack
Like Spice Rack.
But with spikes instead of spice.
Punningulus
You barrage your partner with puns until she sits on your face in an attempt to smother you to death.
1) requires a back story. Q) Why don't you eat out an 80 year old woman? A) ever open up a grilled cheese sandwich?
The chilli cheeseburger: take a crap on an 80 year old woman's cooch, then eat it out.
2) Alaska Bloodbath: Fuck a girl on her period, then have her throw ice cubes at your dick.
3) Never ending chilli bowl: pour 2 cups of chilli into someone's ass. Proceed to eat the chill out of their ass, then realise that you just ate 3 cups of chilli.
"The Human Centipede"
Partner A fucks Partner B in the ass. Partner C then felches Partner B. The Partner A bends over, and partner C spits the semen up Partner A's ass. Partner B then felches Partner A, and this process continues on as necessary.
Dil-Kwan-Do - this is a school of martial arts involving didoes. A practitioner wears a strap-on and holds a dildo in each hand. Sweep and trip moves are followed by grappling and penetration. In some parts of the world this is known as Japanese Sex Fighting
Quote from: Cramulus on December 02, 2010, 05:55:11 PM
Dil-Kwan-Do - this is a school of martial arts involving didoes. A practitioner wears a strap-on and holds a dildo in each hand. Sweep and trip moves are followed by grappling and penetration. In some parts of the world this is known as Japanese Sex Fighting
Someone needs to write/adapt that song.
"The Shawshank Conception"
an erotic roleplaying scenario
The male plays the role of the prisoner. He gets stripped naked and locked in a small room for an indeterminate length of time. Eventually, on his birthday, his lover brings him a nail-file shaped cake for his birthday. There is a fleshlight baked into the cake. He makes sweet love to it and imagines it to be his lover.
"The GOP"
You and your partner take turns fucking the poor.
Quote from: Cramulus on December 02, 2010, 05:55:11 PM
Dil-Kwan-Do - this is a school of martial arts involving didoes. A practitioner wears a strap-on and holds a dildo in each hand. Sweep and trip moves are followed by grappling and penetration. In some parts of the world this is known as Japanese Sex Fighting
Dildo-chucks?
"The DEM"
Like BDSM but with less leather and vinyl and more flannel and denim. And you are always the submissive. ALWAYS.
"The Overton Window"
Thrust into your partner, withdraw, move a foot to the right, and then complain that your partner isn't meeting you in the middle.
The Lamanite
Lay down naked on your stoop and wait for a Bison to wander by. You fuck it, then you eat it. It's like dinner and sex, except the other way round.
Quote from: Rev. What's-His-Name? on December 02, 2010, 05:37:06 PM
Punningulus
You barrage your partner with puns until she sits on your face in an attempt to smother you to death.
:lulz:
The Weed Whacker:
Fucking the mouth of your bong.
Bible Humper
Hollow out a bible to create a vagina shaped crevice, fill with lube, enjoy.
Danger: may cause hairy psalms
The Kazoo
Option 1) Cover your lovers clitoris with wax paper and perform cunningulus while humming Yankee Doodle.
Optoin 2) Use an actual kazoo. Plastic is probably best.
The Soaring Patriot
A nude male holding a misspelled protest sign jumps over the other partner's head spread-eagled, whereupon the jumper's testicles and fecal ejections collide with the jumpee's face.
:asplode:
The Aristocrats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HW4mPZmKPM
Wikileak
Fuck a prominent politician pumping them for
secret information. Then fuck them agian on national news.
The Dick Morris
Masturbation with a scouring pad.