here's piece I wrote... I'm not overly fond of the meter, but it was one of those things I could only get out of my head by writing down. So here it is.
I'm a bad consumer
culturally irrelevant
mind is full of tigers
and ideas so malevolent
I hate my stupid wallet
the cards inside aren't part of me
there's bile in my gullet
and economic anatomy
protest, protest
and shake your fist
grab your stuff and
pull and twist
grab the future
have a tryst
protest, protest
and shake your fist
at this rusty rotten spectacle
this sad retracted testicle
this sagging sappy vegetable
his inertia is invincible
I'll raise the fever, give 'em hell
Instead of watching, now I'll yell
Disconnect them, break the spell
(but I'm the jailor AND the cell)
riot, riot
revolution
fire is
the absolution
pollute the air
with unpollution
riot, riot
revolution
I won't be a culture-shill
I changed my life from gray to red
I'll reverse the values they instill
and do the opposite instead
I'm full of death, I'm full of fight
I'm smoking wrong and burning bright
I'll sacrifice myself tonight
so life is better now... right?
rebel, rebel
and shake your crown
build a bridge and
burn it down
stake your cross
into the ground
rebel, rebel
shake your crown
I knocked the products off my shelf
and now the shelves are empty
I should have rebelled against myself
that tyrant has consumed me
nobody heard, no one awoke
like driftwood in the sea
they chose their role in this sick joke
their punchline punches me
wake up, wake up
'cause you should know
that if you hate it,
let it go
and if you love it,
time to go -
wake up, wake up
for the nine to five show
I like it. It sounds like something that needs to be performed somehow, whether through song or just a verbal rant. The meter is a little weird in a couple of places but not so much that it ruins the flow. Good stuff! :mittens:
thanks. :-) Yeah at some point I'm going to write some music for it and record it - but for now it needs to brew a bit more. Gotta tighten up a few of the stanzas. And something about an ABAB rhyming scheme smells like doggerel without music. It should be clear, but the frustration expressed in this piece is very much a part of my "Sicker and Sicker" (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=19765.0) rant.
first draft
http://ifile.it/agwy57d
note that I am not a professional!
Will have to listen later.
I like the lyrics though, but my brain keeping setting it to "I love my computer" by Bad Religion.
:mittens:
It has a Butthole Surfers ala "Pepper" quality to it.
I really like it! Would like the vocals to be a little louder and crisper.
Ludwig blurted out "That's very good for Cramulus!" and I am not sure what she means by that, except that perhaps she did not expect a man with a moustache to have such good rhythm.
:mittens:
That comes across well done though. Clean delivery and GOOD voice.
I snarfed hot curry at the dragon testicle line.
take two - much cleaner, changed the lyrics:
http://ifile.it/b6dp9rx
A thousands mittens to you sir.
AWESOME CRAM!!!
great industrial sound! the mechanical beats remind me of old Front 242 a lot. somehow your voice in this track also reminds me of Covenant a bit, which is odd because they're Danish (afaik) and should therefore have a Dutch accent :)
and the homegrown distorted vocal sound, KOMPRESSOR couldn't have done it better.
try a fake German accent next time, just for the hell of it! ;-)
Quote from: Cramulus on February 16, 2009, 04:55:58 PM
but I'm the jailor AND the cell
I think think it should stay "I'm" instead of "They're" in the song atleast.