Books That No One Should Read

[A.N. Other]

Sometimes, we all get unlucky and waste our money on books that should have never have even been put to pen and paper, let alone seen by a editor and sent to print. Now, I've always believed it was a good thing to watch each other's backs, so to help us here save some money and perhaps what's left of our sanity, I've decided to establish a thread to tell each other about the worst of the worst.

I'll start with a book all the way back from 2004 called "The Illuminati Manifesto" by Solomon Tulbure. Now, it makes sense this book got past the editor, as it was published by one of those internet publishers, so grammar and such wasn't corrected. That's its first strike against the book.

Next, the guy claims to be head of the Illuminati that started over in Bavaria, and the reason they came out of hiding was because they needed new recruits for something big. That something big? Dismantling organized religion, of course, and forcing people to be free and think for themselves. If they don't, they don't deserve to live and should be either be killed or forced into slavery.

And lastly, he's a Ayn Rand whore. Enough said.

Who's next?

P.S. If there is another thread like this, and I'm copying it (I've been known to do that), sorry.

[Iason Ouabache]

How about: anything written by Charles Dickens.  You can tell that he was paid by the word.

[BADGE OF HONOR]

Consider Phlebas by Iain Banks was a complete waste of time and money.  It's the first book I've ever stopped reading halfway through just because the writing was so awful.  Awkward descriptions, flat characterizations, terrible dialogue...and the plot!  My god.  By the time I gave up the protagonist (who was utterly uninteresting) had suffered something like five utter catastrophes. 

It's currently lying on my bathroom floor being slowly destroyed by moisture and Comet.  I can't even be bothered to throw that piece of shit away. 

[Cain]

The Principia Discordia
Illuminatus! Trilogy

[/obvious]

Anyway I would NOT recommend reading:

Anything by Lee Child (cliche ridden, predictable, boring "thrillers")
Anything by Dan Brown (see above, plus adoring idiots fans).
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller (I know, I know, its a play....)
Anything by Kant
Mein Kampf by Hitler (gibberish and paranoid ranting with no literary merit and only useful as a historical document).
The Left Behind Series - bad plot, bad writing, bad for your brain

[Triple Zero]

Anything by Orson S Card except Ender's Game.
The Sword of Truth series except the first book (Wizard's first Rule)
Daniel Goleman - The Meditative Mind

... and

This thread.

[Raphaella]

Piers Anthony's Apprentice Adept series 
the only two books I have read by him and they are horrid! Clearly not worth the $0.15 I payed for them.

[LMNO]

The Celestine Prophecy


Infinite Jest

[Payne]

Consider Phlebas by Iain Banks was a complete waste of time and money.  It's the first book I've ever stopped reading halfway through just because the writing was so awful.  Awkward descriptions, flat characterizations, terrible dialogue...and the plot!  My god.  By the time I gave up the protagonist (who was utterly uninteresting) had suffered something like five utter catastrophes. 

It's currently lying on my bathroom floor being slowly destroyed by moisture and Comet.  I can't even be bothered to throw that piece of shit away. 

For that, I'd recommend most of his other Sci-Fi, which is all written under Iain M. Banks. The Player of Games was an awesome book.

[Payne]

The Sword of Truth series except the first book (Wizard's first Rule)

I'd add in the second book too, The Stone of Tears was actually not that bad, but from the third book, he starts to really throw his Ayn Rand fanboi-ism about.

[Richter]

The Principia Discordia
Illuminatus! Trilogy

[/obvious]

Anyway I would NOT recommend reading:

Anything by Lee Child (cliche ridden, predictable, boring "thrillers")
Anything by Dan Brown (see above, plus adoring idiots fans).
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller (I know, I know, its a play....)
Anything by Kant
Mein Kampf by Hitler (gibberish and paranoid ranting with no literary merit and only useful as a historical document).
The Left Behind Series - bad plot, bad writing, bad for your brain

RAH!

Also:

Simon Necronomicon  (Tyson faked it better)

[Eve]

The Celestine Prophecy


Infinite Jest

But I love DFW! 

[LMNO]

The Celestine Prophecy


Infinite Jest

But I love DFW! 

His short stories and essays are great.  IJ sucked massive wheelchair-bound-Canadian-Terrorist balls.

[Cainad (dec.)]

Celtika by Robert Holdstock

While I adore Holdstock's Mythago Wood (as does everyone else in my immediate family), Celtika starts out promising and then fucking nothing happens for the next seven or so chapters. I put it down and never picked it back up.

[hooplala]

"Mister B. Gone" by Clive Barker.  Complete piece of shit.

[Payne]

The Bible.