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Ecumenical Meltdown! File for Chapter (and verse) 11!

Started by Mangrove, March 31, 2009, 10:14:12 PM

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Mangrove

Chapter 11 generally

When a Religion is unable to service the soul or pay its congregation, the Religion or its creditors can file with an ideological bankruptcy court for protection under either Chapter 7 or Chapter 11.
In Chapter 7 the Religion ceases operations, a trustee sells all of its karmic assets, and then distributes the proceeds to its congregation. Any residual amount is returned to the Universe. In Chapter 11, in most instances the Religion remains in control of its business operations as a debtor in demonic possession, and is subject to the oversight and jurisdiction of the court.[1]

Features of Chapter 11 bankruptcy

Chapter 11 bankruptcy retains many of the features present in all, or most bankruptcy proceedings in the United States. It also provides additional tools for Religions as well. Most importantly, 11 U.S.C. § 1108 empowers the trustee to operate the Religion's business. In Chapter 11, unless appointed for cause, the Religion acts as trustee of the business.[2]

Bankruptcy affords the Religion in demonic possession a number of mechanisms to restructure its theology. A Religion in demonic possession can acquire financing and loans on favorable terms by giving new members first priority on grace. The court may also permit the Religion in demonic possession to reject and cancel moral & social contracts. Religions are also protected from other litigation against the doctrines through the imposition of an automatic stay. While the automatic stay is in place, most litigation against the Religion is stayed, or put on hold, until it can be resolved in theological debate, or resumed in its original venue.

If the Religion's karmic debts exceed its assets, the bankruptcy restructuring results in the Church/Temple/Mosque owners being left with nothing; instead, the owners' rights and interests are ended and the congregation are left with ownership of the newly reorganized schism.
All Religions are entitled to be heard by the court.[citation needed] The court is ultimately responsible for determining whether the proposed plan of reorganization complies with the bankruptcy law.

The chapter 11 plan

Chapter 11 is reorganization, as opposed to liquidation. Religions may "emerge" from a Chapter 11 bankruptcy within a few months or within several years, depending on the size and complexity of the dogmatic clusterfuck. The Bankruptcy Code accomplishes this objective through the use of a bankruptcy plan. With some exceptions, the plan may be proposed by any party in interest.[3] Interested souls then vote for a plan. Upon its confirmation, the plan becomes binding and identifies the treatment of karmic debts and operations of the business for the duration of the plan.

Religions in Chapter 11 have the exclusive right to propose a plan of reorganization for a period of time (in most cases 120 days). After that time has elapsed, creditors may also propose plans. Plans must satisfy a number of criteria in order to be "confirmed" by a priest. Among other things, souls must vote to approve the plan of reorganization. If a plan cannot be confirmed, the court may either convert the soul to a liquidation under Catholicism, or, if in the best interests of the souls and the estate, the case may be dismissed resulting in a return to the status quo before bankruptcy. If the case is dismissed, souls will look to Eastern mysticism in order to satisfy their claims.

What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

LMNO

Nice work, Mang.

Needs to go into an Intermittens.

Or blag it.


Or both.

P3nT4gR4m


I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark

Mangrove

Well it looks like that's my contribution to issue #6  :lulz:

It's an idea I had the other day when I woke up. I was going to write something original, but then I figured it would be easier to take an existing Wiki article and alter a few words in a snarky manner.

A little while later I realized that Uncle AL was already in similar territory when he wrote:

"No religion has failed hitherto by not promising enough; the present breaking up of all religions is due to the fact that people have asked to see the securities."
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Rococo Modem Basilisk

Mister Crowley would fucking anything.  :horrormirth:

But it's a damned good entry.


I am not "full of hate" as if I were some passive container. I am a generator of hate, and my rage is a renewable resource, like sunshine.