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Topics - Marl Fublewonker

#1
Or Kill Me / This Won't Hurt a Bit
November 30, 2005, 10:12:04 PM
Let me begin by saying that this is more of a story than a rant. A true story however.

   So, the Red Cross came by my area today, and, feeling that others needed it more than I, I decided to donate a pint of blood. After sitting through about an hour's worth of questions pertaining to my travelling situation and sexual life (did you know you can't donate blood if you're gay?) I was finally admitted into the room to have my blood sucked from my arm. I was prepped and ready to have the needle inserted, and the technician (not nurse... technician) said, "This won't hurt a bit." It wasn't that bad... yet. After about 20 seconds I was a little woozy. Then after another minute I felt supremely dizzy. I didn't think anything of it. I thought it was just the effect of losing blood. Then I blacked out.

   A seizure! I had a fucking seizure! I started coming to to the sound of people screaming my name and some old guy in a Santa Clause hat holding my legs up. My first thought was, "Fuck! Santa Clause!" There was a searing pain in my arm where the needle was. I looked down to see why it hurt so much only to see the technician holding a bloody rag to the inside of my gushing elbow. Apparently during the seizure the needle was accidentaly ripped from my arm. This was an experience I will not soon forget.

   So, in short, fuck you Red Cross. Don't expect another donation of any sort from me again.