(NAFR) Jihad Sermon 11: It's Ours Because We Say So.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Sermon on Eristicism 11:
It's Ours Because We Say So.

And God saw that the Erisian people were harried in this land. And God spake unto the prophet Malaclypse The Younger, "You will lead your people across the wide waters, the wide desert, the mountains, and the great forests unto a new land. Malaclypse The Younger was fearful, and he cried to God, "How will we cross the wide waters, desert, mountains, and forests? For they are cold, hot, and dry, and they are filled with all manner of hazardous substances and raw sewage and other pollutants." And God responded, "fear not, Malaclypse The Younger, for great bridges, highways, and flying machines will be built, and the people will cross into this land. And this land will be called Northern California. I say, lo, I have promised this land to the Erisian people, to the Discordians, to the Chaoists, to the Witches, and all the other weird peoples. And this land shall be blessed with fruits and nuts (and even jokers), unto fifty generations (if not more)."
-from the Gospel According to St. Kallista

"For all the hooplah about the information age and the global village, half the world's population has never even been able to afford to make a phone call."
-23ofMe

While you have all been distracted by the interminable growth of reams of statements and media exposes about the fight between Islamic fundamentalists and modern Western civilization (or something to that effect), the same old powerbrokers have continued stealing the means to your existence. Despite the "war on terror," the Conspiracy of Normal keeps on trucking and telling you to keep fearing terrorists as the CoN take control of your chances to live your own lives.

But are we here concerned with all this?

Those of you who think not are simply lying to yourselves.

In any event, we are here concerned with another matter, though somewhat related.

Many of you are somehow convinced that the government, in whatever version of it exists in whatever locale you inhabit, is actually going to waste its time with keeping tabs on Discordians. Some of you actually think that government, or the state, is someday going to crack down on Discordians for the crime of free thought and other abjectly abstract concepts. Whether this is actually true or not, let me point out that WE DISCORDIANS are not a priority for THEM. Your paranoia, while sometimes a healthy response, especially for those of you living in Bushlandia (or Fat City, Fuck-All, Dumbfuckistan, or any of its more popular names), is misplaced. The day that the STATE goes after Discordians for being Discordian is the day we need to shake up the movement anyway because some people somewhere have done something wrong (like jaking the green jesus out of some poor bastard who happens to be the boy toy of the Bush daughters and then bragging about it).

At the moment the state and its corporate sponsors are busy going after their real enemies, organized labor and members of the global justice movement, while society is put to sleep under the fog of an Orwellian endless war doctrine-a.k.a. the War on [some] Terrorists-in which the poster children known as Al-Qaeda and the radical Muslims get to star in a never ending serial soap opera drama of tit-for-tat bombings, attacks, and American invasion and occupation. The state and its supposed adversary, the Muslim extremists, are conspiring to keep you afraid so that the power brokers can continue to steal your lives away under the cover of brand names and logos. It's called the free market, yet it is not free for everyone, just those who are very rich. Even though the American government has a war to fight in Iraq, hundreds of millions of dollars are still given to corporations in the form of subsidies. (Subsidies which are funded by taxes. Otherwise known as 'corporate welfare.' An example: The average household in the USA pays about 200$ in taxes per year to the Lockheed Martin company.) And in the USA, since the Clinton presidency, corporations have not had to pay taxes on their profits. While you were sleeping, the state and its sponsors have made their moves to own the bed you sleep on. But don't worry, you can now pay them rent to sleep there.

Some people have been fighting this trend. Many of the usual suspects (in terms of activists), labor organizers, workers, students, anarchists, socialists of various tendencies, the greens, environmentalists, the witches, etc. But there have been more and more
people from all walks of life starting to fight. Around the world there have been millions fighting the global behemoth pretense of 'free trade.' And despite the fear and paranoia since the 9-11 attacks and all that followed, their struggle continues to grow.

I wrote briefly about the Global Uprising to make you think about something for a minute. The state is spending most of its time trying to keep tabs on that above mentioned global justice movement, so why do you somehow think that the state will waste its time with Discordians?

And why would you or should you care?

If the corporations and the state can just declare certain parts of your life theirs, then you can do likewise. It is wise to remember who has the power to coerce who to comply and agree, though. With this in mind, I want to tell you about a new movement within the Discordian Society which has resulted in the occupations of Starbucks and other such chain-outlets. The individual occupations are not as interesting as the phrase used by the occupiers: "It's Ours Because We Say So." Think about the implications of this for a moment. (And perhaps apply it to your own version of jaking and pranking.)

Perhaps you should also realize that chances are you will be opposed not by the state and its corporate sponsors but by the average person who happens to be pink/gray. Perhaps it's time we Discordians pull up stakes and find a sanctuary of our own, away from the grays/pinks. Not all of you will warm to this idea, but maybe some of us would like to live somewhere where we can be as outwardly weird as possible, not because we want to impress others, but because we just happened to wake up that way. I would venture to say, that a town, or county, or even a region that is inhabited by hundreds, if not more, of Discordians would probably be one of the most civilized, healthy, and humane places to live. We could, as the Gospel says, claim northern California, which is already filled with some weird and crazy people.

With this in mind...the DSSS have decided to lay claim to that region for Discordians everywhere. It IS ours because we say so. And we have revived the Erisian Liberation Front to help us make it so.

Some of you will wish to stay behind, in this land of Thud, simply because that is an entertaining prospect in and of itself. Some of you feel you have a duty to help tip the scales and keep the orderlies (in this open air asylum) on their toes. Some of you enjoy being the lone rogue Discordian hidden in a sea of grays and pinks, throwing proverbial monkey wrenches in the machines, etc. Hell, I am actually split between the two ideas. Perhaps I will choose to live in our new 'promised land' while making seasonal forays into the rest of the world. Perhaps not. Perhaps I will simply sit somewhere on some hill side and eat poptarts, smoke cigars, and drink tequila. Perhaps I am getting worn down and tired, and wish to have some place of refuge to temporarily retire. (Actually, I don't give a damn about being the ODD Discordian in a sea of gray anymore. So, creating somewhere that has large percentages of Discordians would be somewhat entertaining.) Perhaps I just need to recover for a while from being slapped silly by the invisible hand of capitalism.

In any respect, you know what you want.

Just saying.

-Irreverend Hugh, KSC

[Delivered at a DSSS convocation: February 28th, 2005]

[Lord Trout]

Not a bad location (NoCal) to choose, especially considering that a short trip south to SoCal, or north to Oregon, let alone east to Nevada, provides ample opportunities for mindfuck-fun. Personally, I think the denizens of southern Oregon make the best targets for this activity, but I used to live in that inbred morass of sub-humanity, so it holds an especially-dark place in my heart.

But that's neither here nor there.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Not a bad location (NoCal) to choose, especially considering that a short trip south to SoCal, or north to Oregon, let alone east to Nevada, provides ample opportunities for mindfuck-fun. Personally, I think the denizens of southern Oregon make the best targets for this activity, but I used to live in that inbred morass of sub-humanity, so it holds an especially-dark place in my heart.

But that's neither here nor there.

Some of those people are america's finest cut of grade 'a' morons, but then again we have those here in Chicago too.

[Ben]

I live in California.  It's MINE.

[LMNO]

Hold on... you revived the ELF?


::relieved::

I thought I was the one to blame...

[Lurker]

Some people have been fighting this trend. Many of the usual suspects (in terms of activists), labor organizers, workers, students, anarchists, socialists of various tendencies, the greens, environmentalists, the witches, etc. But there have been more and more
people from all walks of life starting to fight. Around the world there have been millions fighting the global behemoth pretense of 'free trade.' And despite the fear and paranoia since the 9-11 attacks and all that followed, their struggle continues to grow.

[Zurtok Khan]

Bad news...this Sermon inspired a piece of shitty poetry!

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Bad news...this Sermon inspired a piece of shitty poetry!

At least you can blame on someone else this time.

[Guido Finucci]

Bad news...this Sermon inspired a piece of shitty poetry!

... Shitty piece of prose. Please.