Always write under the influence

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I use them to separate sets of stuff that have a lot of commas, i.e., hardly ever.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I use them to separate sets of stuff that have a lot of commas, i.e., hardly ever.

I use them to indicate a separation between one thought and a related thought, without a full stop.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The funny thing is that I have been using semicolons since I was maybe nine and I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL. I used them because I read a lot and saw them used in books, and I picked up punctuation from seeing it used.

[Doktor Howl]

The funny thing is that I have been using semicolons since I was maybe nine and I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL. I used them because I read a lot and saw them used in books, and I picked up punctuation from seeing it used.

Mark Twain had an irrational hatred of semicolons.  He wrote an essay about it.

So, tell me, Nigel - IF that's your REAL name - do you think you're smarter than Mark Twain?

[Cain]

And Kurt Vonnegut, who my quote was from, is an American WAR HERO.

Do you hate the military Nigel? 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The funny thing is that I have been using semicolons since I was maybe nine and I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL. I used them because I read a lot and saw them used in books, and I picked up punctuation from seeing it used.

Mark Twain had an irrational hatred of semicolons.  He wrote an essay about it.

So, tell me, Nigel - IF that's your REAL name - do you think you're smarter than Mark Twain?

I don't know him personally, so it's difficult for me to assess that.

HOWEVER, I will say that I don't have an irrational terror of pearl earrings, either, and I definitely don't think I'm smarter than Nikola Tesla.

YOUR MOVE, REVEREND.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And Kurt Vonnegut, who my quote was from, is an American WAR HERO.

Do you hate the military Nigel?

Kurt Vonnegut once got high and ate so much ice cream that his bowels froze up and stopped working for two days. He was pretty sure he was going to die.

I've never done that.

JUST SAYING.

[Cain]

And Kurt Vonnegut, who my quote was from, is an American WAR HERO.

Do you hate the military Nigel?

Kurt Vonnegut once got high and ate so much ice cream that his bowels froze up and stopped working for two days. He was pretty sure he was going to die.

I've never done that.

JUST SAYING.

Exactly.  A true war hero.  No-one else could have survived such an encounter.

[Doktor Howl]

The funny thing is that I have been using semicolons since I was maybe nine and I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL. I used them because I read a lot and saw them used in books, and I picked up punctuation from seeing it used.

Mark Twain had an irrational hatred of semicolons.  He wrote an essay about it.

So, tell me, Nigel - IF that's your REAL name - do you think you're smarter than Mark Twain?

I don't know him personally, so it's difficult for me to assess that.

HOWEVER, I will say that I don't have an irrational terror of pearl earrings, either, and I definitely don't think I'm smarter than Nikola Tesla.

YOUR MOVE, REVEREND.

Doktor, if you please.

Nikola Tesla was infinitely more wise than you or I, which is why he died in a cheap motel, obsessively counting his pubic hairs.  HE KNEW HOW MANY PUBIC HAIRS HE HAD.  Right down to the folicle.

Do YOU know how many pubic hairs you have? 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

The funny thing is that I have been using semicolons since I was maybe nine and I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL. I used them because I read a lot and saw them used in books, and I picked up punctuation from seeing it used.

Mark Twain had an irrational hatred of semicolons.  He wrote an essay about it.

So, tell me, Nigel - IF that's your REAL name - do you think you're smarter than Mark Twain?

I don't know him personally, so it's difficult for me to assess that.

HOWEVER, I will say that I don't have an irrational terror of pearl earrings, either, and I definitely don't think I'm smarter than Nikola Tesla.

YOUR MOVE, REVEREND.

Doktor, if you please.

Nikola Tesla was infinitely more wise than you or I, which is why he died in a cheap motel, obsessively counting his pubic hairs.  HE KNEW HOW MANY PUBIC HAIRS HE HAD.  Right down to the folicle.

Do YOU know how many pubic hairs you have?

That's what Brazillian waxings are for.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Exactly. If Tesla had been a wise man, he would have known that pubic hair is the enemy and must be annihilated with electricity.

[Doktor Howl]

Exactly. If Tesla had been a wise man, he would have known that pubic hair is the enemy and must be annihilated with electricity.

You make an excellent point, Reverend.  I'm off to the garage to get some wire strippers and an extension cord.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Exactly. If Tesla had been a wise man, he would have known that pubic hair is the enemy and must be annihilated with electricity.

You make an excellent point, Reverend.  I'm off to the garage to get some wire strippers and an extension cord.

[Left]

So much semicolon hate. This kind of makes me want to get drunk or eat a bag of shrooms just to see what would happen to my writing. What could go wrong?

You could end up naked and screaming in an ambulance.
...Apparently 6 caps are too much if you're a control freak and cannot handle your cats teleporting.

First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

...Always hating on the intersex people, I swear.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

So much semicolon hate. This kind of makes me want to get drunk or eat a bag of shrooms just to see what would happen to my writing. What could go wrong?

You could end up naked and screaming in an ambulance.
...Apparently 6 caps are too much if you're a control freak and cannot handle your cats teleporting.

First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

...Always hating on the intersex people, I swear.

Shit. My cat teleports NOW and I'm not on anything other than Pepsi. The naked in an ambulance sounds like a dream I had once, though. Were the ambulance's walls made of yeti tongues?