The Cage

[Jesrad]

Malaclypse woke up in a cage. He did not remember entering it or being forced inside it. And yet, it was there all around him. He just had the hazy recollection that he had been here for a long, long time. So he took patience and waited it out, but it didn't help a bit. Then he tried shouting at it, but it remained still. He voiced his deep concern, expressed his growing frustration at it being there, but it did not change a thing. Finally, he asked St Gulik, Messenger of the Goddess and Roach Extraordinaire, to plead on his behalf to our Lady.

After a depressingly lengthy wait, she arrived in a puff of unlogic, and stood before him.
- Hi, Mal' !
- O Eris, very Holey Spirit of Chaos, please deliver me from this cage !
- Sorry, the only one who can get you out of it is yourself.
- How shall I do that, O Revered Mother of Anything That Ain't ?
- That's easy: just do the opposite of whatever you did to build it in the first place.
- But I didn't bui... Err ?

Malaclypse stood, flabbergasted, before our Lady. He regained his senses and remarked:
- Forgive your humble servant, but, err, I don't think I'd be so daft as to cage myself in !
- By your side was your wife, and you built bars to keep her where you wanted her. By your other side were your children, and you built bars to force them into the path you wanted them to follow. Above your head you built bars to protect yourself from those higher, and finally you also built bars under your feet to keep those below you from rising to your level. So don't pull the surprised face now that you're stuck here.

And then she disappeared, leaving Malaclypse confused.

Wrote this a looong time ago, and just now stumbled upon the BIP initiative. Thought it would fit. YMMV

[AFK]

Interesting read. 

[LMNO]

I like that, how it addresses the controls you put on other people are also the controls you put on  yourself.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wow, I really like that. Very perceptive, a great analogy, and I love the "don't pull the surprised face" line.

[Jesrad]

Glad you like it

I have a couple others to contribute if there's enough interest.

[AFK]

I would say yes.

I would also say post them even if there wasn't interest. 

[Jesrad]

St Peter: Welcome, my friend. I hope you will enjoy the place for all eternity.
John Paul 2: Many thanks ! I'm glad to be here, even though it means I cannot give further help down there... Err, I had but a few questions to ask Our Creator, would you be so kind as to tell me where... ?
St Peter, pointing finger away: Ah, yeah, well... Go look by those arches of light, this way. But be warned that asking questions will likely just give you more questions in return...

John Paul 2 starts walking, while St Peter mumbles to himself: ...especially questions about Her sanity !

John Paul 2 arrives there: O Creator of all things, my Lor... err, I mean, my... Lady ?
Eris, eating an apple: Hmm ? Oh, you're a bit early. Lemme guess, you wanna know where's the open bar ?
John Paul 2: What ? Err, no, I wanted to ask of You... err, why do You let all those, err, things, I mean - all the trouble down there, why...
Eris, rolling eyes: I get it. You wanna know "why is there Evil on Earth" right ?
John Paul 2: Yes, yes, my Lor...Lady, that's what I humbly wish to know.
Eris: OK, fine, but let's make it quick, got a bowling match with friends in 5 minutes.

Eris waves her hand, and her apple disappears.

Eris: So, why do you think my sister and I created this Universe ? That's because we wanted a distraction. And the problem with our creations is that they're totally predictable to us. Each of us knows everything that will happen to our own inventions in advance because they're deterministic to us: everything I make I know how will end, and same with my sis Aneris.
John Paul 2: Deterministic ?
Eris: Yeah, once you know how it start, you know how it'll end up. Makes some lousy distraction, ain'it ? So, we made a deterministic Universe and put some life in it. Life's great because it's made from both of us, so it's not deterministic to either of us: it has free will, which it got from me, so Aneris can't predict it. And because it's stuck in an aneristic environment, I can't predict the result either. Makes for some fine entertainment.
John Paul 2: OK, but what about Evil ?
Eris: I made a bet against my sister: she says chaos is bad and order is good, I say that free will is good while going against it is bad. We're using the Universe to tell which one of us is right: we just let you do your thing and you sort it out somehow. We can't predict you, if you do good I win and get to keep you all as my pets and you'll be free-will-ing forever, but if you do evil my sister wins and she'll rip your free will out and make you completely deterministic.
John Paul 2: Then you must help us do good !
Eris: Hey, did you hear what I said ? If I help you against your will, it proves that free will can't wish for good and I instantly lose.
John Paul 2: Oh... Then we're doomed !
Eris: Don't panic ! You're not doomed at all, my sister can't intervene either: she made the laws of the Universe, so if she intervenes to make you do evil, it proves order can be evil and she loses.
John Paul 2: You say you can't intervene in worldly affairs... but then, what of the Signs ? The Fiery Bush ? The 10 plagues ? All the miracles ? And what about Jesus ?
Eris, irritated: How dare you call me a cheater ! Mary was consenting, I'd asked her. And I bend the laws of physics if I want to, only my sister can't. Besides, she keeps pushing horrible ideas into your minds behind my back, that old cranky bitch. Anyway, got to go now, it's bowling time.

Eris starts walking away, leaving John Paul 2 there to think about all those surprising revelations. She says to Herself: That "sister" bullshit is just great at shaking bores off my trail !

[Cramulus]

good post. And HI there, welcome to PD! We do love it when new people come in and aren't afraid to dive right into the Think For Yourself Shmuck material. I'd also like to reccommend the Operation: Mindfuck board, which is a great place for plans and projects and implimenting all this shit we talk about.


My one qualm with the dialogue you write would be this part:

We can’t predict you, if you do good I win and get to keep you all as my pets and you’ll be free-will-ing forever

Not bad. I like that Eris stands for free will. But why is Goodness the stick by which Free Will is measured?
Eris is a Goddess of discord and strife. Yes, the modern Discordians often depict her as benevolent - but I don't think Goodness is really in her plan. Human Nature is her plan, and it can be pretty brutal at times.



see, I just saw Dark Knight last night, and I'm still high off the dialogue where the Joker calls himself an Agent of Strife. And all the talk about Chaos in general. 

[LMNO]

I like the angle, but I think you might have to refine the parts about Good and Evil.

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Is there really good and evil or is it just a difference of opinion?

I like this, it's good work. 

Welcome to PD.com!!!

[Jesrad]

HI there, welcome to PD!

I like this, it's good work. 

Welcome to PD.com!!!

Thanks ! I've just now returned. Where's SsssBella gone ? And I think someone here owes me a box of cookies. Or a beer, I forget.

Not bad. I like that Eris stands for free will. But why is Goodness the stick by which Free Will is measured?
Eris is a Goddess of discord and strife. Yes, the modern Discordians often depict her as benevolent - but I don't think Goodness is really in her plan. Human Nature is her plan, and it can be pretty brutal at times.

I like the angle, but I think you might have to refine the parts about Good and Evil.

Is there really good and evil or is it just a difference of opinion?

I originally wrote this one in a hurry when the pope died, and it was in french, so there definitely are some quirks to iron out. Free will/Goodness are presented the other way round, but even then free will ain't really the measure for good, consent is ultimately, because good and evil can only relate to interaction between entities, not standalone actions - the view here is a shortcut I took to keep it short and to the point. There's also all the things we do out of our nature and not out of free will, that I kept out as well.

Re Joker: someone's police is someone else's gang. And vice-versa.

[LMNO]

Bella's over at http://www.erisbarandgrill.com/forum/index.php . This place was a bit too high-intensity for her.

[AFK]

I thought Jesrad was a returnee and not a n00b.  The avatar is very familiar. 

ETA: I think you owe ME the cookies.   

[Cain]

I was about to say the same.  The avatar is very reminiscient of....nope, lost it again.  I'm sure I'll remember soon.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I thought Jesrad was a returnee and not a n00b.  The avatar is very familiar. 

I was about to say the same.  The avatar is very reminiscient of....nope, lost it again.  I'm sure I'll remember soon.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who got that impression...