Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Discordian Recipes => Topic started by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on December 13, 2014, 05:54:37 PM

Title: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on December 13, 2014, 05:54:37 PM
Ingredients:
- 1-2 lbs Chicken thighs (not deboned)
- 2-3 jars salsa

Instructions:
Put chicken in pressure cooker. Cover with salsa. Cook on high for 24 hours, or until bones melt. Feeds one person for 1-2 meals a day for a week.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 13, 2014, 06:09:55 PM
Something is very wrong here.

Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: LMNO on December 13, 2014, 09:17:28 PM
This is like the Anarchist's Cookbook, but an actual cookbook.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 14, 2014, 11:46:31 PM
Fire extinguisher sold separately.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:05:06 AM
I need to write recipes.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:05:59 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:05:06 AM
I need to write recipes.

I approve of this plan.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:08:54 AM
Extremely Easy Teriyaki Pork Chops:

Ingredients:
- 2-3 lbs pork chops
- Bottle of teriyaki sauce

Instructions:
Coat pork chops with teriyaki sauce. Put in oven with broiler on high for 6-7 hours. Serve with rice.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:10:16 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:08:54 AM
Extremely Easy Teriyaki Pork Chops:

Ingredients:
- 2-3 lbs pork chops
- Bottle of teriyaki sauce

Instructions:
Coat pork chops with teriyaki sauce. Put in oven with broiler on high for 6-7 hours. Serve with rice.

It can't be that easy.  Shit would explode.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:10:43 AM
Rice:

Ingredients:
- Rice

Place in skillet. Cook on medium heat stirring occasionally 72 hours or until house is burned to the ground.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:11:26 AM
Elephant stew:

1.  Dice one elephant.
2.  Throw into pot with contents of one granary.
3.  Cook for one week or until the tusks fall off.

Serves 300.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:11:36 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:10:16 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:08:54 AM
Extremely Easy Teriyaki Pork Chops:

Ingredients:
- 2-3 lbs pork chops
- Bottle of teriyaki sauce

Instructions:
Coat pork chops with teriyaki sauce. Put in oven with broiler on high for 6-7 hours. Serve with rice.

It can't be that easy.  Shit would explode.

No, you only get explosions with the pressure cooker recipes.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:11:41 AM
Quote from: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:10:43 AM
Rice:

Ingredients:
- Rice

Place in skillet. Cook on medium heat stirring occasionally 72 hours or until house is burned to the ground.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 12:11:55 AM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 12:11:26 AM
Elephant stew:

1.  Dice one elephant.
2.  Throw into pot with contents of one granary.
3.  Cook for one week or until the tusks fall off.

Serves 300.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Rococo Modem Basilisk on December 15, 2014, 01:15:45 AM
Oh shit. I just realized I said 'pressure cooker' when I meant 'crock pot'.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Mesozoic Mister Nigel on December 15, 2014, 01:32:22 AM
Quote from: Roko's Modern Basilisk on December 15, 2014, 01:15:45 AM
Oh shit. I just realized I said 'pressure cooker' when I meant 'crock pot'.

:lulz:
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Doktor Howl on December 15, 2014, 02:01:59 AM
Quote from: Roko's Modern Basilisk on December 15, 2014, 01:15:45 AM
Oh shit. I just realized I said 'pressure cooker' when I meant 'crock pot'.

You, like me, have absolutely NO FUCKING BUSINESS in the kitchen.  There is nothing good for us in there.  Just fire department bills, paperwork, and broken windows.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: LMNO on December 15, 2014, 12:26:38 PM
A Good Time:

1 Meat Grinder
1 Your Junk.

Stick your junk in the meatgrinder.  Repeat as necessary.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Eater of Clowns on December 15, 2014, 12:40:41 PM
 :lulz:

"Until the bones melt" is a great measure.

Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Reginald Ret on December 26, 2014, 03:11:23 AM
 :lulz:

Lemme try one.

Baked Potato

Ingredients:
Potato
Fire
Tinfoil


Throw potato in fire.
Put tinfoil around potato.
Extinguish arms and clothes.
Eat potato when both you and the potato are no longer on fire.
If your teeth don't easily cut the skin there are several possible solutions: 1. remove the tinfoil first. 2. Extinguish your arms slower.
Title: Re: Stupidly easy chicken thing
Post by: Nast on September 23, 2015, 08:15:00 AM
STEP ONE: MIX RAW GROUND BEEF WITH SHARDS OF GLASS

STEP TWO: EAT HANDFULS OF MEAT MIXTURE, SLOWLY, WHILE CRYING

STEP THREE: PONDER WHERE IT ALL WENT WRONG