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Intermittens letters to the editor mailbag

Started by Reginald Ret, April 15, 2009, 07:11:12 PM

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Reginald Ret

April 15, 2009, 07:11:12 PM Last Edit: April 15, 2009, 07:56:33 PM by Regret
Alright you artist, pseudointellectuals and assorted idiots this thread is for collecting of intermittens letters to the editor.
They can be real or fake, refering to a previous intermittens or not, coherent or incoherent, etc etc.

This thread is not for intermittens 4 related letters but there is no harm in them being stored here.

Cramulus had this idea:
Quote from: CramulusDear Vexati0n: why didn't you credit me for the cover art? Signed Cram  Dear Cramulus, vex didn't credit you because his keyboard is jammed halfway up his ass. Signed p3nt.



GO!


ETA

At the filthy pinko hippy editor,

This hopeless excuse for a magazine makes no sense half of the time and is infuriating the other half. I as a Freedom loving American was physically sickened by the piece of shit on page 9 and 10 of intermittens #1 written by the degenerate Jack of Turnips (an obvious pseudonym).
What is all this crap about Destroying the capitol and dancing on its ruins? Don't you love America? And how dare you make fun of our godfearing government! They know what they are doing. Otherwise they would not have been in power, that is obvious to anybody with half a brain.

i will never again read anything made by you or anyone connected to you and i feel obligated to tell you that i reported you discordians to the sheriff. Expect criminal charges in the near future.

With spite,
Billy 'Biff' Church,
(you can call me Mr. Church.)
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Reginald Ret

#1
April 15, 2009, 08:36:27 PM
Hey Regret nice thread you have here, allow me to add a tiny something to it.

Esteemed Colleague Prof. Cramulus,

It seems to me that this Cain figure(intermittens #1 pg 11-12) is imagining some grand conspiracy so that he can feel more important.
There are perfectly logical explanations for all the philosophical, social and cultural movements that he mentions. These movements mostly come forth directly from the preceding movements combined with the situation in wich the development took place. There is no reason to assume the existence of some so called 'emergent' or invisible conspiracy, the application of Occam's Razor by all readers seems prudent.

I wish to express my gratitude that such a high quality philospohical magazine is being put together, even if it is by amateurs. Even mr Cain (an obvious reference to the Cainites) seems quite intelligent if somewhat misguided.

With respect,
Prof. Konslitid of the Aristotle university of Thessaloniki

Why thank you Regret for this extraordinarily high quality piece of work, nay Art.
Lord Byron: "Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves."

Nigel saying the wisest words ever uttered: "It's just a suffix."

"The worst forum ever" "The most mediocre forum on the internet" "The dumbest forum on the internet" "The most retarded forum on the internet" "The lamest forum on the internet" "The coolest forum on the internet"

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
April 15, 2009, 11:35:13 PM
Dear Editor(s),

After finding Intermittens via a link sent me by a friend, I felt compelled to write my thanks and congratulations on a tremendous piece of work! I "discovered" Discordianism two years ago on Myspace, and just thought it was the cat's pajamas, meow, yuo know what I mean. I am a broke college student and I spend most of my time smoking fatty spliffs at home with my kid while my wife brings home the bacon, but man Intermittens is awesome! I love you guys, you're totally great. I can make some rad art for your magazine sometime, I'd really like to be part of the "in" group, I can see that you guys are really where Discordia is at these days. I mean, I don't really care about being part of any group, but you seem like my kind of people and I want to be part of what you're doing. Those other Discordians are lame, fuck them! Haha just kidding!

Enclosed find samples of some ideas I had for illustrations, if you don't like them it doesn't really matter because I didn't really try very hard. I save my best work for people I really respect, and I'm not going to put that much effort in right off the bat because you don't even KNOW me and you have no business judging me based on what you see on the internet... if you knew me in person you'd get my sense of humor, but as it is you just don't understand me. Maybe if you give me a chance you'll find out how awesome I really am.

Anyway, fuck you guys, I don't even really CARE about your stupid magazine.

-Matt
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Nast

#3
April 16, 2009, 12:41:04 AM
:lulz:
"If I owned Goodwill, no charity worker would feel safe.  I would sit in my office behind a massive pile of cocaine, racking my pistol's slide every time the cleaning lady came near.  Auditors, I'd just shoot."

Cainad (dec.)

#4
April 16, 2009, 12:50:22 AM
Quote from: Nigel on April 15, 2009, 11:35:13 PM
Dear Editor(s),

After finding Intermittens via a link sent me by a friend, I felt compelled to write my thanks and congratulations on a tremendous piece of work! I "discovered" Discordianism two years ago on Myspace, and just thought it was the cat's pajamas, meow, yuo know what I mean. I am a broke college student and I spend most of my time smoking fatty spliffs at home with my kid while my wife brings home the bacon, but man Intermittens is awesome! I love you guys, you're totally great. I can make some rad art for your magazine sometime, I'd really like to be part of the "in" group, I can see that you guys are really where Discordia is at these days. I mean, I don't really care about being part of any group, but you seem like my kind of people and I want to be part of what you're doing. Those other Discordians are lame, fuck them! Haha just kidding!

Enclosed find samples of some ideas I had for illustrations, if you don't like them it doesn't really matter because I didn't really try very hard. I save my best work for people I really respect, and I'm not going to put that much effort in right off the bat because you don't even KNOW me and you have no business judging me based on what you see on the internet... if you knew me in person you'd get my sense of humor, but as it is you just don't understand me. Maybe if you give me a chance you'll find out how awesome I really am.

Anyway, fuck you guys, I don't even really CARE about your stupid magazine.

-Matt


:mrgreen::hi5::?:hi5::lulz:

Triple Zero

#5
April 16, 2009, 12:34:57 PM
Dear Editor(s),

Amazing Sexx Life

He had not allowed visual appreciation to matter. It.' 'one
can imagine anything,' said miss marple..

How to Open the Door to an Amazing Sex LLife
http://tinyurl.com/viagra-discordia

Again?' asked poirot in a whisper. 'not unless of them correspond.
that leaves us two alternatives. Trouble. He grasped her
arm, and twisting it, did mr. Tolman begin to build up his
popularity. Want to.' 'mademoiselle cinderella is staying
four years of the president's life it is difficult of bran,
and heveydd hir, and unic glew ysgwyd, meanness. Unfortunately,
too, as she had been to be happy. We have always known,
said miss martha, and that with particular reference to
the illustration that is hopeful? Nobody who does not regard
me unmitigated blacknessand the most eloquent portions.

- Luella Biggs
Ex-Soviet Bloc Sexual Attack Swede of Tomorrow™
e-prime disclaimer: let it seem fairly unclear I understand the apparent subjectivity of the above statements. maybe.

INFORMATION SO POWERFUL, YOU ACTUALLY NEED LESS.
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