ONE WEEK, P.D. ...WHAT THEN? + "?"(remix edit version) 4 NIGEL

[E.O.T.]

THIS BIOGRAPHY

         of the Russian composer Alexander Scriabin which I've been reading includes the text to something he wrote called the "what then?" credo, from some 1894 notebooks of his, meant to accompany the twelve etudes, Op. 8. At the time, he was having some heavy shit going on all around in his life, when he busts this out. i came across this the other night and it stuck out particularly to me, because a few folks on the board were having some hard personal, inner time during the last week. thought i would pass it on

         THE "WHAT THEN?" CREDO

To be an optimist in a real sense, one must suffer doubt and conquer it.

Not by my own wish have I come into this world. Well, what then?

In tender youth, full with illusions of desire and hope, I delighted in shining glories.

I awaited a revelation from Heaven. It came not. Well, what then?

I sought eternal truth and asked of people. Alas, they knew no more than I. Well, what then?

I sought eternal beauty, and found it not. Like flowers which never bloom, my feelings were stilled. The rain                of night dimmed the bright day.

I sought solace in the new spring, new flowers, but nowhere found it. I strove not to change what was, but to return to the already spent, to recall the already experienced.

Into each person's life, springtime can come but once. How people rush beyond these divine dreams, those enchanting delusions!

At last I took comfort in memories. But once used to them, they vanished. Well, what then?

Whoever you may be, who jested at me, who plunged me into dark depths,

Whoever you were, you who  mocked me, cast me in prison, ravished in order to disillusion, gave in order to steal back, caressed in order to torment,

I take my leave of you and ask no redress.

I am alive. I love life. I love people. I love them all the more because through you they have suffered.

I will proclaim to all people that I have triumphed over you, over myself. I say that they can place no hope in you, that they can expect naught from life except THAT WHICH THEY CREATE BY THEMSELVES ALONE.

I thank you for all the fears which your trials and tribulations aroused. You made me know my endless power, my unlimited might, my invincibility. You gave me the power of creativity.

I will tell them that they are strong and mighty, that it is needless to lament, that there is no loss, that they must not fear doubt which alone gives birth to true triumph.

Powerful is he! Mighty is he! Who feels defeat and overcomes it!



AND ALSO,

         

         Alexander Scriabin's grand niece, Nicole.  



Whoever you were, you who mocked our trials and tribulations aroused. You

to disillusion, gave in order to steal my unlimited might, my invincibility.

I take my leave of you and ask no mighty, that it is needless to lament,

I am alive. I love life. I love people. I not fear doubt which alone gives birth

you they have suffered. defeat and overcomes it!

I will proclaim to all people that I To be an optimist in a real sense, one

I say that they can place no hope in Not by my own wish have I come

life except THAT WHICH THEY In tender youth, full with illusions

I thank you for all the fears which glories.

made me know my endless power, I awaited a revelation from Heaven.

You gave me the power of creativity I sought eternal truth and asked of

Powerful is he! Mighty is he!

Well, what then?

[E.O.T.]

HOPING

          today is looking better, NIGEL!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

YOU

Are a good friend.