Burgers?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Dear Uncle Roger,

     I've been debating theists and atheists alike on Yahoo News. The annoying part is that I'm starting to sound like an atheist. Now, I know that I'm going through my own spiritual doubts, but they only apply to me, my immortal soul and the grace of God. But dear God, man. How is it that our fellow theists have totally missed out on the idea that our holy mission, aside to fuck with everyone, is to actually figure this shit out? What happened to the likes of Newton, who, while dead wrong on matters of chemistry, was dead right on physics because he wanted to know what God was up to? When did we become dumb, and when did the infidels steal our academic thunder? It's offensive unto our LORD(or LADY) that a bunch of smarmy asshats would take up our sacred cause.

     I may be a humble Nephew, but I am also a Doktor, and this heresy on both sides makes my firebrand itch. You are a Holy Man, and I a mere monk. How can we make this itchy brand a beacon for all to see? How can we bring the Shut The Fuck Up to the masses? How can we bring the flag burning hippies, and the gun toting preppers, to the same BBQ? What must we sacrifice, by fire, unto our LORD (or LADY)?

    Genuinely curious, because it is grilling season now, even here in New England.

Your favorite Nephew,
Twid

[Nephew Twiddleton]

An example:

I don't know why I got two thumbs down. Rabbits don't chew cud. They don't. If God made them, why does he think they do? Did he forget how he designed their digestive tracts? That's something that we can directly observe and go, "Uh hey, Boss? You sure you know what you're talking about here? Did you lose the blueprints on the rabbits or something?"

[MMIX]

An example:

I don't know why I got two thumbs down. Rabbits don't chew cud. They don't. If God made them, why does he think they do? Did he forget how he designed their digestive tracts? That's something that we can directly observe and go, "Uh hey, Boss? You sure you know what you're talking about here? Did you lose the blueprints on the rabbits or something?"

Coprophagy maybe has some sort of divine equivalence  - cecotropes as cud substitutes?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Uncle Roger,

     I've been debating theists and atheists alike on Yahoo News. The annoying part is that I'm starting to sound like an atheist. Now, I know that I'm going through my own spiritual doubts, but they only apply to me, my immortal soul and the grace of God. But dear God, man. How is it that our fellow theists have totally missed out on the idea that our holy mission, aside to fuck with everyone, is to actually figure this shit out?

Because they think the mission is to take the dogma as is, and crap all over everyone else's parade with it.

This is why the doctrine of SHUT UP is so important to doing Good Work.  When you see someone say - with a straight face - that the bible is literally true and contains no contradictions, what you are witnessing is a person desperate for a DIVINE INTERVENTION bestowing some SHUT UP upon their poor benighted souls.

This may involve horrible beatings; the work of God is rarely pretty.

You may see some rabid asshole with a bible in his hand, screeching about the Gays.  This man also needs SHUT UP.  If anyone thinks this is un-American or fascist or whatever, then allow me to refer you to our complaints department.  Pretty sure his name is Matthew Shepard.

When you see anyone claiming that God's word trumps proof, you are watching someone shit on 1000 years of rationalism AND 2000 years of theology.  When you see anyone claim that they have proven God's existence by one means or another, you are seeing a man without faith.  And that's fine, in both cases.  But when they decide that their truth is more appropriate in classrooms than, say, biology, then it's time for SMITING and screaming and running around and SHUT UP.

[P3nT4gR4m]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds. Newton and Einstein and whatnot were fine because they stuck to belief in a non-defined abstraction of god, a creator. This is not mutually exclusive with science since there is no data before the big bang, it may very well have been some giant invisible dude just suddenly popping into existence and deciding he was bored.

Belief in religious texts, however, is almost completely incompatible with scientific method, since the vast majority of most of them is demonstrably gobshite. Rabbits being merely the tip of the iceberg.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds. Newton and Einstein and whatnot were fine because they stuck to belief in a non-defined abstraction of god, a creator. This is not mutually exclusive with science since there is no data before the big bang, it may very well have been some giant invisible dude just suddenly popping into existence and deciding he was bored.

Belief in religious texts, however, is almost completely incompatible with scientific method, since the vast majority of most of them is demonstrably gobshite. Rabbits being merely the tip of the iceberg.

You kinda need to re-read Newton's biography.  He was a fanatic.

[P3nT4gR4m]

I knew he was pretty big into alchemy. Guess I figured hermeticism and christianity were mutually exclusive 

[Nephew Twiddleton]

I knew he was pretty big into alchemy. Guess I figured hermeticism and christianity were mutually exclusive 

He also predicted based on his interpretation of the bible that the world would end in 2060. He was a pretty devout Christian.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Dear Uncle Roger,

     I've been debating theists and atheists alike on Yahoo News. The annoying part is that I'm starting to sound like an atheist. Now, I know that I'm going through my own spiritual doubts, but they only apply to me, my immortal soul and the grace of God. But dear God, man. How is it that our fellow theists have totally missed out on the idea that our holy mission, aside to fuck with everyone, is to actually figure this shit out?

Because they think the mission is to take the dogma as is, and crap all over everyone else's parade with it.

This is why the doctrine of SHUT UP is so important to doing Good Work.  When you see someone say - with a straight face - that the bible is literally true and contains no contradictions, what you are witnessing is a person desperate for a DIVINE INTERVENTION bestowing some SHUT UP upon their poor benighted souls.

This may involve horrible beatings; the work of God is rarely pretty.

You may see some rabid asshole with a bible in his hand, screeching about the Gays.  This man also needs SHUT UP.  If anyone thinks this is un-American or fascist or whatever, then allow me to refer you to our complaints department.  Pretty sure his name is Matthew Shepard.

When you see anyone claiming that God's word trumps proof, you are watching someone shit on 1000 years of rationalism AND 2000 years of theology.  When you see anyone claim that they have proven God's existence by one means or another, you are seeing a man without faith.  And that's fine, in both cases.  But when they decide that their truth is more appropriate in classrooms than, say, biology, then it's time for SMITING and screaming and running around and SHUT UP.

This summer I will bring the gift of shut up to those in need of it.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds. Newton and Einstein and whatnot were fine because they stuck to belief in a non-defined abstraction of god, a creator. This is not mutually exclusive with science since there is no data before the big bang, it may very well have been some giant invisible dude just suddenly popping into existence and deciding he was bored.

Belief in religious texts, however, is almost completely incompatible with scientific method, since the vast majority of most of them is demonstrably gobshite. Rabbits being merely the tip of the iceberg.

You might consider looking into the early history of scientific inquiry.

[Junkenstein]

I knew he was pretty big into alchemy. Guess I figured hermeticism and christianity were mutually exclusive 

He also predicted based on his interpretation of the bible that the world would end in 2060. He was a pretty devout Christian.

Well that will be an interesting end of the world tale in a few decades. There will be a hilarious cult for that one.

Anyone want to get in super early and start it?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds.

Clearly, you have never visited the American Southwest.

[P3nT4gR4m]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds. Newton and Einstein and whatnot were fine because they stuck to belief in a non-defined abstraction of god, a creator. This is not mutually exclusive with science since there is no data before the big bang, it may very well have been some giant invisible dude just suddenly popping into existence and deciding he was bored.

Belief in religious texts, however, is almost completely incompatible with scientific method, since the vast majority of most of them is demonstrably gobshite. Rabbits being merely the tip of the iceberg.

You might consider looking into the early history of scientific inquiry.

You mean back when there were only four elements or when the earth was flat, not long after the theory was put forward that some white guy with a beard walked on water? You taking about that early? Or a bit later when they'd worked out there were a few more boxes on the periodic table, or the earth was actually a ball of rock, hurtling round the sun or that the surface tension of water was nowhere near strong enough to support a free standing Caucasian?

Somewhere in between?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds. Newton and Einstein and whatnot were fine because they stuck to belief in a non-defined abstraction of god, a creator. This is not mutually exclusive with science since there is no data before the big bang, it may very well have been some giant invisible dude just suddenly popping into existence and deciding he was bored.

Belief in religious texts, however, is almost completely incompatible with scientific method, since the vast majority of most of them is demonstrably gobshite. Rabbits being merely the tip of the iceberg.

You might consider looking into the early history of scientific inquiry.

You mean back when there were only four elements or when the earth was flat, not long after the theory was put forward that some white guy with a beard walked on water? You taking about that early? Or a bit later when they'd worked out there were a few more boxes on the periodic table, or the earth was actually a ball of rock, hurtling round the sun or that the surface tension of water was nowhere near strong enough to support a free standing Caucasian?

Somewhere in between?

What's really funny is that the number one patron of scientists from 1400-1700 AD was the Catholic Church.

Followed closely by nobles co-funding the Lutheran church in the 1600s.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The more we learn, the less water primitive superstitious ignorance holds. Newton and Einstein and whatnot were fine because they stuck to belief in a non-defined abstraction of god, a creator. This is not mutually exclusive with science since there is no data before the big bang, it may very well have been some giant invisible dude just suddenly popping into existence and deciding he was bored.

Belief in religious texts, however, is almost completely incompatible with scientific method, since the vast majority of most of them is demonstrably gobshite. Rabbits being merely the tip of the iceberg.

You might consider looking into the early history of scientific inquiry.

You mean back when there were only four elements or when the earth was flat, not long after the theory was put forward that some white guy with a beard walked on water? You taking about that early? Or a bit later when they'd worked out there were a few more boxes on the periodic table, or the earth was actually a ball of rock, hurtling round the sun or that the surface tension of water was nowhere near strong enough to support a free standing Caucasian?

Somewhere in between?

What's really funny is that the number one patron of scientists from 1400-1700 AD was the Catholic Church.

Followed closely by nobles co-funding the Lutheran church in the 1600s.

Yes, this is what I was talking about. The pursuit of scientific inquiry was considered one of the most God-glorifying pursuits, because what more noble subject is there for man than to study the Creation of God?

I'm not really sure what happened after that, or why for some reason most Born-Agains hate science.