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A spider against technology.

Started by deet, August 28, 2005, 03:08:22 AM

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deet

SPIDER VS ELECTRICITY, TONIGHT FROM TEH DESK OF BUSTED!!!

Las Vegas is putting the odds on this fight as 10 to 1...
>That's right! You never know when the unexpected is going to happen
>though, Derek, so you better place your bets carefully if you want to
>have a chance to win it big!
Damn straight, Michael! Just imagine what you'd be able to buy if you bet $1000...
>I know what I'd be doing. Hahaha!
Haha, I'm sure we can all guess what you'd be doing, Mike! Hahaha...

*CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG*
"A good evening to all present! Welcome to the first teletyped presentation of the newest Man vs Animal event! Tonight, we place the deadly Western Maple Tree Man Eater, the most deadly spider this side of the primordial goop against a cheap, department store BBQ electric lighter! This could get messy, and we have an ambulance on standby the Maple Tree Man Eater gets loose and starts killing anyone nearby!"

First Round,
The Man Eater descends from the celing... it's just below eye level now, slowly building momentum. As it gets closer, it begins secreting it's syrupy poison. The challenger spots the spider. dudges it, and unleashes a torrent of electrical power, firing his trigger again and again!

Second round,
Spider is lying semi-concious on the desk... it looks like it might be preparing for some kind of agression... OH MY GOD IT'S MOVING!
The challenger, sensing his life is in danger, attacks relentlessly with the sparker! Bang! Bang! Bang! Will it ever end?! Will it ever be over?

Third round,
The spider appears to be braindead, but still reacts to being prodded by a ballpoint pen. Unfortunately, it tries to tear the pen apart with it's massive mandible. This means that it has a bloodlust. It seems to have found out where the challenger is sitting... This could mean bad news.

Fourth round,
Finally, the killer instinct common to all Maple Tree species causes the Man Eater to show some spunk as it tries to position itself for an attack... it's eventually able to overcome the breadcrumbs, but it has a bit more trouble walking in a straight line.

Fifth round,
Spider appears to have lost all desire to fight. Too bad, because the challenger is growing eager to squeeze his trigger, and chalk up his first victory since the terrible encounter he had during the Chimpanzee vs Monkey Wrench match late last year. Since he hasn't had very much luck with the sparks alone, the challenger decides that a conductor would make the current more lethal. Since the spider had attacked the pen in a previous round, it was now involved in the fray... Pushing the arachnid onto a penny, it sensed that something was about to happen and that it would be best if it was far away... Seconds after the pen managed to get back it it's place on the desk, it saw a series of twin lightning bolts that would make even Zeus stop and watch. The spider, who had the best view of the lightning, would have much less admiration for the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, it would appear that we have a winner! Electricity wins! That's Fourteen for Animals, and Five for Technology!
> Derek, I think that it's becoming apparant that we need electricity to  
> beat these animals! So far, we're three for three with the juice!
I totally agree with you, Mike! Remember last time we let this guy loose in the Monkey's cage with that wrench? Man, I couldn't believe when that monkey rammed the wr...
> Hahah, that chimp was great! *Clears throat*
Oh, right, yeah.. Well, that's all the time we have for tonight! Tune in for our next fight, when we pit a Giraffe up against a potato cannon!
All walls have two sides.

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