Principia Discordia

Principia Discordia => Two vast and trunkless legs of stone => Topic started by: Kai on December 09, 2011, 04:29:22 AM

Title: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Kai on December 09, 2011, 04:29:22 AM
This just cracks me the fuck up.

So, apparently Catholic Ministries have started an "adopt-an-atheist" program (http://www.catholicleague.org/adopt-an-atheist-campaign-begins/). As Bill Donohue explains:

Quote[Let] them know of your interest in "adopting" one of them. All it takes is an e-mail. Let them know of your sincere interest in working with them to uncover their inner self. They may be resistant at first, but eventually they may come to understand that they were Christian all along.

    If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who "believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing."


So of course, a classy atheist woman makes a video asking him to adopt her (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hC9ATilxtng).   :lulz:
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 09, 2011, 04:30:14 AM
Atheists stand for nothing?   :lulz:

Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Freeky on December 09, 2011, 04:31:01 AM
Quote from: 'Kai' ZLB, M.S. on December 09, 2011, 04:29:22 AM
This just cracks me the fuck up.

So, apparently Catholic Ministries have started an "adopt-an-atheist" program (http://www.catholicleague.org/adopt-an-atheist-campaign-begins/). As Bill Donohue explains:

Quote[Let] them know of your interest in "adopting" one of them. All it takes is an e-mail. Let them know of your sincere interest in working with them to uncover their inner self. They may be resistant at first, but eventually they may come to understand that they were Christian all along.

    If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who "believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing."


Oh my baby Jesus. :lulz:
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Kai on December 09, 2011, 04:35:49 AM
I think Miranda is leading by example. We should ALL go email a Catholic and ask them to adopt our pagan asses, because apparently we are Christians and don't know it.

I think this email campaign would be a wonderful way to spend the holiday season. We could even design a template, with a section citing Donohue's statement, so everyone could get in on the Christmas spirit.

Personally, I'm going to send mine to Bill Donohue. I mean, the above video is tough competition, but I think I could make my case.  8)
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Kurt Christ on December 09, 2011, 04:47:10 AM
Why don't we adopt the Christians instead?
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Kai on December 09, 2011, 04:47:52 AM
Quote from: Kurt Christ on December 09, 2011, 04:47:10 AM
Why don't we adopt the Christians instead?

Why do you hate America?
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Kurt Christ on December 09, 2011, 05:56:19 AM
Quote from: 'Kai' ZLB, M.S. on December 09, 2011, 04:47:52 AM
Quote from: Kurt Christ on December 09, 2011, 04:47:10 AM
Why don't we adopt the Christians instead?

Why do you hate America?
The "cheese," if you can really call it that.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: AFK on December 09, 2011, 12:57:14 PM
I'd let Phil Donohue adopt me, only if he gave me one of those puffy microphones. 
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Triple Zero on December 09, 2011, 01:59:27 PM
But those are the freaks that put all these wood-and-plaster shrines with horrible torture scenes at road intersections all over Southern Europe, and pray and cry and orgasm at huge bloody and gory graphical depictions of the same put on display in these gigantic ancient above-ground stone dungeons--I'm staying the fuck away from those maniacs.

"Adopt" me, uh-huh right.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Luna on December 09, 2011, 02:41:28 PM
Will they buy me a new TV for Christmas?

No?

Forget it.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: hooplala on December 09, 2011, 02:51:54 PM
'Diff'rent Strokes' of the Twenty-First Century.          


WHATCHOO TALKIN BOUT, BILL DONOHUE?
                                                 \
(http://msnbcmedia3.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/ss-100528-Gary-Coleman/ss-100528-Gary-Coleman-2008-utah2.grid-8x2.jpg)
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Suu on December 09, 2011, 03:33:24 PM
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 09, 2011, 03:45:49 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 03:33:24 PM
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Do I get a nice Catholic name?
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Suu on December 09, 2011, 03:49:33 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 09, 2011, 03:45:49 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 03:33:24 PM
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Do I get a nice Catholic name?

Of course.

You are now Mark Luke John, and your Confirmation name is Matthew.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: EK WAFFLR on December 09, 2011, 03:51:48 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 03:49:33 PM
Quote from: Waffle Iron on December 09, 2011, 03:45:49 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 03:33:24 PM
As the resident CatholicTM, I will adopt all of you.

Do I get a nice Catholic name?

Of course.

You are now Mark Luke John, and your Confirmation name is Matthew.

Nice. I'm going to just use Mark and Matthew though. They fit well with the name my parents gave me, which also starts with an M.
This way I can be Triple M Double H.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Suu on December 09, 2011, 04:03:00 PM
Oh they get better.

Actually, I think out of the 3 of us, only my sister has the obligatory cracker-ass-cracker name, but my brother and I are totally rocking the "OMFG" Catholic names.

I have also been told that I have Catholic handwriting. Evidently, being able to write legible cursive in the United States automatically means that one went to Catholic school. Which I did, but that's besides the point.

Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Kai on December 09, 2011, 04:55:10 PM
More people are asking for Donohue to adopt them, but PZ Myers says (http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2011/12/09/bill-donohue-finds-the-proper-bait-for-trolling/) that considering /who/ they're asking to adopt them, and /what/ the Catholic church is known for (e.g. pedophilia), it's more than kinda creepy.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 09, 2011, 05:04:54 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 04:03:00 PM
Oh they get better.

Actually, I think out of the 3 of us, only my sister has the obligatory cracker-ass-cracker name, but my brother and I are totally rocking the "OMFG" Catholic names.

I have also been told that I have Catholic handwriting. Evidently, being able to write legible cursive in the United States automatically means that one went to Catholic school. Which I did, but that's besides the point.



Suu speaks the truth. Actually, I've also noticed that you can get asked if you went to Catholic school if you can print legibly. Apparently Catholic school has the complete opposite effect as medical school.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: The Good Reverend Roger on December 09, 2011, 09:36:11 PM
:kojak:
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Phox on December 10, 2011, 12:57:13 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 09, 2011, 05:04:54 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 04:03:00 PM
Oh they get better.

Actually, I think out of the 3 of us, only my sister has the obligatory cracker-ass-cracker name, but my brother and I are totally rocking the "OMFG" Catholic names.

I have also been told that I have Catholic handwriting. Evidently, being able to write legible cursive in the United States automatically means that one went to Catholic school. Which I did, but that's besides the point.



Suu speaks the truth. Actually, I've also noticed that you can get asked if you went to Catholic school if you can print legibly. Apparently Catholic school has the complete opposite effect as medical school.
Dude, I know, right?

Phox,
Did not go to Catholic school. Has been asked this question.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2011, 01:50:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 10, 2011, 12:57:13 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 09, 2011, 05:04:54 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 04:03:00 PM
Oh they get better.

Actually, I think out of the 3 of us, only my sister has the obligatory cracker-ass-cracker name, but my brother and I are totally rocking the "OMFG" Catholic names.

I have also been told that I have Catholic handwriting. Evidently, being able to write legible cursive in the United States automatically means that one went to Catholic school. Which I did, but that's besides the point.



Suu speaks the truth. Actually, I've also noticed that you can get asked if you went to Catholic school if you can print legibly. Apparently Catholic school has the complete opposite effect as medical school.
Dude, I know, right?

Phox,
Did not go to Catholic school. Has been asked this question.

My thing is, if I write something down, then the intent is for it to be read.

If I don't want to have it read by anyone but, I write it in bad rudimentary Latin, as a quick reminder.

It's funny though, people with sloppy writing have trouble making out what they themselves have written. It kinda defeats the purpose.

The two worst examples I have ever seen were from a Jewish medical scientist (my old boss when I was an administrative assistant) and an agnostic atheist (my most recent ex). I used to make fun of the ex mercilessly for the bad penmanship because she didn't sign my paycheck  :lulz:

As for my old boss, when in doubt I would bring it for the other scientist I worked for.... who happened to be an Italian-American Catholic and had very neat writing.
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Phox on December 10, 2011, 01:54:03 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 10, 2011, 01:50:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 10, 2011, 12:57:13 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 09, 2011, 05:04:54 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 04:03:00 PM
Oh they get better.

Actually, I think out of the 3 of us, only my sister has the obligatory cracker-ass-cracker name, but my brother and I are totally rocking the "OMFG" Catholic names.

I have also been told that I have Catholic handwriting. Evidently, being able to write legible cursive in the United States automatically means that one went to Catholic school. Which I did, but that's besides the point.



Suu speaks the truth. Actually, I've also noticed that you can get asked if you went to Catholic school if you can print legibly. Apparently Catholic school has the complete opposite effect as medical school.
Dude, I know, right?

Phox,
Did not go to Catholic school. Has been asked this question.

My thing is, if I write something down, then the intent is for it to be read.

If I don't want to have it read by anyone but, I write it in bad rudimentary Latin, as a quick reminder.

It's funny though, people with sloppy writing have trouble making out what they themselves have written. It kinda defeats the purpose.

The two worst examples I have ever seen were from a Jewish medical scientist (my old boss when I was an administrative assistant) and an agnostic atheist (my most recent ex). I used to make fun of the ex mercilessly for the bad penmanship because she didn't sign my paycheck  :lulz:

As for my old boss, when in doubt I would bring it for the other scientist I worked for.... who happened to be an Italian-American Catholic and had very neat writing.
When I write in cursive is legible (I personally, don't think it's all that neat, per se, but apparently "neat" is if it can be read in a single look it seems). When I print... well, that depends on how fast i'm writing. :lol:
Title: Re: "Please adopt me, Bill Donohue."
Post by: Nephew Twiddleton on December 10, 2011, 01:59:42 AM
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 10, 2011, 01:54:03 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 10, 2011, 01:50:07 AM
Quote from: Doktor Zero on December 10, 2011, 12:57:13 AM
Quote from: Nph. Twid. on December 09, 2011, 05:04:54 PM
Quote from: Suu on December 09, 2011, 04:03:00 PM
Oh they get better.

Actually, I think out of the 3 of us, only my sister has the obligatory cracker-ass-cracker name, but my brother and I are totally rocking the "OMFG" Catholic names.

I have also been told that I have Catholic handwriting. Evidently, being able to write legible cursive in the United States automatically means that one went to Catholic school. Which I did, but that's besides the point.



Suu speaks the truth. Actually, I've also noticed that you can get asked if you went to Catholic school if you can print legibly. Apparently Catholic school has the complete opposite effect as medical school.
Dude, I know, right?

Phox,
Did not go to Catholic school. Has been asked this question.

My thing is, if I write something down, then the intent is for it to be read.

If I don't want to have it read by anyone but, I write it in bad rudimentary Latin, as a quick reminder.

It's funny though, people with sloppy writing have trouble making out what they themselves have written. It kinda defeats the purpose.

The two worst examples I have ever seen were from a Jewish medical scientist (my old boss when I was an administrative assistant) and an agnostic atheist (my most recent ex). I used to make fun of the ex mercilessly for the bad penmanship because she didn't sign my paycheck  :lulz:

As for my old boss, when in doubt I would bring it for the other scientist I worked for.... who happened to be an Italian-American Catholic and had very neat writing.
When I write in cursive is legible (I personally, don't think it's all that neat, per se, but apparently "neat" is if it can be read in a single look it seems). When I print... well, that depends on how fast i'm writing. :lol:

If I'm in a rush, my writing gets sloppy, but it's still legible. It does have a tendency to get smaller though. I don't know if that is due to wanting to go for minimal hand movement in a pinch or what. When I write, it's usually a weird combo of print and cursive, which gets pretty obvious if you observe my s, g and th, since none of those is consistent. When I write cursive, I might do it for a paragraph and then revert to half print.

Handwriting is also somewhat strenuous for me now. I've gotten too accustomed to typing.