PUNCH CHICKEN

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Version 1:
     > Fresh chicken breast strips
     > 1 egg
     > bread crumbs
     > spices you like
     > olive oil

Wash your hands.
Put chicken strips on a clean surface.
Punch the chicken flat. (IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE FROZEN MEAT FOR PUNCH CHICKEN IF YOU VALUE YOUR FISTS)
Wash your hands again.
Crack egg in a bowl, add a little water or milk and mix.
Put bread crumbs and spices in another bowl.
Put a little olive oil in a frying pan. Turn the heat on medium-ish.
Dunk one chicken strip in egg, then toss with the breadcrumbs, then put it in the pan. Don't burn yourself.
Do a couple more chickens til the pan looks like it might be getting crowded.
Flip chickens.
Remove chickens from pan when they're kinda brown on both sides. If you have a lot of chickens, you can store them in a warm oven (160-200 degrees) until they're all done.
Repeat until no more chickens.
Eat.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Version 2:
     > Fresh chicken breast strips
     > a ton of garlic
     > water or chicken broth
     > spices you like

Wash your hands.
Put chicken strips on a clean surface.
Punch the chicken flat. (IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE FROZEN MEAT FOR PUNCH CHICKEN IF YOU VALUE YOUR FISTS)
Wash your hands again.
Pre-heat oven to 350.
Peel a bunch of garlic.
Throw garlic and chicken in a baking pan (NOT A COOKIE SHEET).
Add spices you like.
Add a little water or chicken broth (not enough to cover the chicken).
Wash hands again.
Cover pan with tinfoil.
Bake for a while.
When it smells like food, take off the foil. If you can't smell, call it around 20 or 30 minutes.
Continue baking for a bit uncovered.
Eat when it's cooked through and a little brown on the top.

[Reginald Ret]

Sounds good!

I love the

Wash your hands.

step

[Eater of Clowns]

I like that this employs violence, and not soft drinks like I originally thought.

[LMNO]

I tremble at what will happen if Roger sees this thread.

[Eater of Clowns]

I tremble at what will happen if Roger sees this thread.

If punching improves chicken, one can only assume that a hydraulic press will make it that much better.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I tremble at what will happen if Roger sees this thread.

It's for Roger! He keeps trying to do difficult things like eggs and pancakes, this is way easier.

[LMNO]

And then Roger went back to the hospital for broken knuckles and salmonella delivered through direct injection from splinters from a cutting board he punched through.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Version 2:
     > Fresh chicken breast strips
     > a ton of garlic
     > water or chicken broth
     > spices you like

Wash your hands.
Put chicken strips on a clean surface.
Punch the chicken flat. (IMPORTANT: DO NOT USE FROZEN MEAT FOR PUNCH CHICKEN IF YOU VALUE YOUR FISTS)
Wash your hands again.
Pre-heat oven to 350.
Peel a bunch of garlic.
Throw garlic and chicken in a baking pan (NOT A COOKIE SHEET).
Add spices you like.
Add a little water or chicken broth (not enough to cover the chicken).
Wash hands again.
Cover pan with tinfoil.
Bake for a while.
When it smells like food, take off the foil. If you can't smell, call it around 20 or 30 minutes.
Continue baking for a bit uncovered.
Eat when it's cooked through and a little brown on the top.

Wife says wear latex gloves when handling chicken.

[LMNO]

A NEW PAIR, please. Do not use the ones in the bedroom.




LMNO
-what?

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Also an option. Don't do that thing LMNO said and punch through the chicken and into the cutting board.