M. NIGHT SHALAMANOMICON

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I see M. Night Shamalan has made another movie, called Devil. I expect it to continue the long tradition of shitty movies whose trailers try to fool people into thinking they will be good. That is not really up for debate, since his track record proves it. This thread, instead, is to make up premises for terrible movies that he will probably make in the future, since the assholes in Hollywood seem bent on giving him movie deals because the entertainment industry needs more suck and fail.

I predict he will make a movie called The Shoemaker, which will be about an old-fashioned shoe maker who makes shoes. In his shop, there is a set of green shoelaces that come to life when the moon is full, and strangle children. The shoemaker is framed of course, until a fat detective who is down on his luck and addicted to alcohol and/or pain meds cracks the case after talking to a traveling Gypsy at a carnival. They eventually capture the shoelaces, and everybody goes home, and the second half of the movie is about what everybody has for dinner.

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

Eeeeeeeeeehgh. By the first 15 minutes you figure the whole story out then the end makes you go "WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S THE END?!?!?!"

he can suck it.

[Lies]

http://www.cracked.com/funny-5806-the-last-airbender-movie/
http://www.cracked.com/funny-2065-m.-night-shyamalan/

[Lies]

The only good thing about an M Night Shylmonkonic movie is that I took a date out to see "signs" at the cinema, and by about 20 minutes in we were both so bored that we started making out and fondling each other for the rest of the movie.

It was awesome.
And no, I don't remember *anything* else besides that the girl hates water and that had something to do with the plot "twist".
I'm guessing I didn't miss out on much.

[Rumckle]

I predict he will make a movie called The Shoemaker, which will be about an old-fashioned shoe maker who makes shoes. In his shop, there is a set of green shoelaces that come to life when the moon is full, and strangle children. The shoemaker is framed of course, until a fat detective who is down on his luck and addicted to alcohol and/or pain meds cracks the case after talking to a traveling Gypsy at a carnival. They eventually capture the shoelaces, and everybody goes home, and the second half of the movie is about what everybody has for dinner.

Apparently, he is going to direct the sequel to Unbreakable.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/09/movie_trifecta_at_the_mountains_of_madness_pirates.php

[Lies]

I predict he will make a movie called The Shoemaker, which will be about an old-fashioned shoe maker who makes shoes. In his shop, there is a set of green shoelaces that come to life when the moon is full, and strangle children. The shoemaker is framed of course, until a fat detective who is down on his luck and addicted to alcohol and/or pain meds cracks the case after talking to a traveling Gypsy at a carnival. They eventually capture the shoelaces, and everybody goes home, and the second half of the movie is about what everybody has for dinner.

Apparently, he is going to direct the sequel to Unbreakable.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/09/movie_trifecta_at_the_mountains_of_madness_pirates.php

Oh god, I have to shamefully admit, I saw unbreakable a long time ago, and actually *kinda* liked it, but I think if they make a sequel they're going to ruin what little shred of credibility the first had.

Also, from that site-

Tom Cruise is being considered for the lead of the Guillermo del Toro-directed, James Cameron-produced adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft 's At the Mountains of Madness. I didn't know Cthulhu himself was actually going to be involved in the film's casting, but it makes sense. Seeing Cruise star in what will likely be the only big-budget Lovecraft movie of our lifetimes will certainly reduce me to gibbering insanity.

[Lies]

OK, WHO VOTED FOR "THEY DON'T SUCK"?

COME ON, IF IT WAS YOU, ADMIT IT, YOU'VE GOT A DATE WITH MY TWO BY FOUR WHO'LL SMACK SOME SENSE INTO YOU

[Triple Zero]

DO I GET TO TAKE YOUR TWO BY FOUR TO THE MOVIES AND FONDLE IT?

[Lies]

SURE, IF IT'S M NIGHT SHYAMALAN MOVIE, YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO DO SO BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING ANYWAY

[Faust]

A protagonist with a single character flaw that is repeated ad nausium is confronted by a seemingly impossible series of events that lead along a tale of suspense and mystery before the shocking twist ending.

[Lies]

M NIGHT SHYAMALAN: MAKING OUT WITH A 2x4 IS WAY MORE INTERESTING AND LEAVES YOU FEELING LESS GUILTY AND STUPID

[Lies]

A protagonist with a single character flaw that is repeated ad nausium is confronted by a seemingly impossible series of events that lead along a tale of suspense and mystery before the shocking twist ending.

Emphasis on "Shocking"

[Suu]

I liked the 6th Sense, Unbreakable was alright, and I liked Signs (it scared the fucking shit out of me in the theatre...but I was also stoned off my gourd) but after that they sorta...I dunno, fizzled. His stories always have potential, and they never work.

[The Wizard]

Personally, loved Sixth Sense, and as a comic book geek I really loved Unbreakable, but since then its been a kind of downward spiral. I didn't even see his last two movies.

[Thurnez Isa]

I remember going to 6th sense in the theater and being the only person in a large group of ppl that didn't like it. At the time I chopped it up to the fact i see a lot of low budget, international and asian horror films so I end up seeing a lot of the influences for major Hollywood films before I see the Hollywood film.
Now I'm left with the opinion that movie just may have been the "right place right time", and may not be as good as ppl who liked it remember it to be. I really don't believe he is a misunderstood genius that both he and his acolytes on the Internet makes him out to be.

Having said that I do see the appeal of his movies. They do have good music, they're well shot, and they play a lot like fairy tales.

Haven't seen Unbreakable, which seems to be the crowd favorite, but I'm not into comic books so I probably wont seek it out.