Shameless Slander #2: EoC

[Doktor Howl]

Eater of Clowns (EoC) is an unfortunate man.  When the Big Oops happened on March 15th, 1937, the space in which EoC was living got folded over when the other 200 miles between Boston and Providence ceased to be real.  As a result, he ages funny, sometimes forward, sometimes back, depending on which side of the fold he's on, and he is frequently very short for his height.  Also, when he is up against one edge of the fold, interacting with people in normal space, there is a "fish eye lens" effect, which makes his mouth look like a cross between that of Jimmy Carter and a very grumpy barracuda.

Like all toothed creatures in The Fold, he eats whatever he can catch.  Rumors of he and his cohorts luring people into the fold are absolutely absurd, though, as nothing can either get into our out of the fold without relying on inter-dimensional travel of some kind or another (Which is why nobody gets off the MTBA in South Attleboro.  Ever.).

EoC is the product of the Darwinian hellhole that his home turned into.  He himself hasn't evolved, obviously, as that requires successive generations, but he IS one of the fit ones, one of the mutants who can survive in the vicious niche in which he finds himself.  He can run like a deer, and can kill a cop with one punch, never even slowing down.  His forehead is swept back for speed, so he has to keep his brains in his torso (George W Bush spoke of this phenomena once, "Thinkin' with your gut".).  He can digest ANYTHING, and has been known to live on gas station sushi for weeks at a time.

For obvious reasons, he is not allowed on the MTBA, and when you see him in Boston, it's because he took a good fucking run at the wall, and stretched it all the way to Charlie's Kitchen.  The inevitable "snap back" resulted in the destruction of Warwich, RI.  Nobody noticed.

[EK WAFFLR]

 
Brilliant!

[LMNO]

Your mind makes amazing connections.

[Doktor Howl]

Your mind makes amazing connections.

They changed my PILLS HERE back to the original stuff PLUS the new stuff.

Disadvantage:  No booze.

Advantage:  DON'T NEED IT.

[Eater of Clowns]

 

If the cops didn't want to get leap punched they wouldn't be dressed like that in this neighborhood. How's a boy to stop himself.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The term "gas station sushi".

[Doktor Howl]

The term "gas station sushi".

It's a thing.  It really is.

But it's not as dumb as this:

http://wonkette.com/584507/the-snake-oil-bulletin-no-your-cat-is-not-vegan-you-are-an-idiot-who-is-killing-your-cat

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The term "gas station sushi".

It's a thing.  It really is.

But it's not as dumb as this:

http://wonkette.com/584507/the-snake-oil-bulletin-no-your-cat-is-not-vegan-you-are-an-idiot-who-is-killing-your-cat

I am not OK with any of these things.

[Doktor Howl]

The term "gas station sushi".

It's a thing.  It really is.

But it's not as dumb as this:

http://wonkette.com/584507/the-snake-oil-bulletin-no-your-cat-is-not-vegan-you-are-an-idiot-who-is-killing-your-cat

I am not OK with any of these things.

Gas station sushi, though.  You can get food poisoning so conveniently.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The term "gas station sushi".

It's a thing.  It really is.

But it's not as dumb as this:

http://wonkette.com/584507/the-snake-oil-bulletin-no-your-cat-is-not-vegan-you-are-an-idiot-who-is-killing-your-cat

I am not OK with any of these things.

Gas station sushi, though.  You can get food poisoning so conveniently.

THIS IS THE AMERICA WE DEMANDED.

[Junkenstein]

Slander?

Not one word is false and it's libel anyway if it was.

Let's just examine a few other simple facts about EOC while we're here.

For one thing, Several notable charities are in fact fronts to allow payment for but a small portion of EOC's gambling debts. There was a game of 3 card monte back in '83 which many even commented on how crappy Reagan's dealing was. Only one man can't find the lady that many times and that man is EOC. We're not trying to imply that EOC is responsible for worldwide famine through his poor decision making skills, nor are we questioning why they let someone who obviously wasn't good for it play table stakes with IOU's, we're just asking questions. By which I mean making verifiable accusations and demanding an immediate lynching if for no other reason than to deprive the world bank of a few quid.


There's more but I need to vomit for a while before considering his other atrocities. I'll be a few hours if I even contemplate Roger.

[Eater of Clowns]

I WASN'T EVEN ALIVE IN '83.

I was still here, though.

[Junkenstein]

See, look at this cheap bullshit presented as some kind of excuse. "Wasn't even alive". What kind of imbeciles do you think you'll be dealing with at the UN for your "adventures" in Yemen around '76. We've all seen the pictures of you golfing with Bin Laden while discussing how to ultimately implement socialism across the entire USA.

It's actually amazing the NRA hasn't just taken matters into their own hands by now.












And we're not even going to mention the clusterfuck that happens to be MEXICO.

[Doktor Howl]

And we're not even going to mention the clusterfuck that happens to be MEXICO.

I tried to save it.  EoC snatched it and shat on it til it died.

[Eater of Clowns]

And we're not even going to mention the clusterfuck that happens to be MEXICO.

I tried to save it.  EoC snatched it and shat on it til it died.

I maintain everything would have been fine if you people hadn't looked behind the curtain. But no, you had to look at the fires and now you're both so upset about the smoke in your eyes.