ITT: Best Posts of the Day

[P3nT4gR4m]

No Tzip. You are the Google.

...and then Tzip was a Google.

[Eater of Clowns]

Payne actually is scottish (as opposed to honorary) ergo he lacks the critical faculty to know what he's doing. Ever. The Scottish empire only ever get things right by coincidence That's why we drink so much: drunk people are far more likely to have an accident. And that's the only way smart things happen round here.

eg. Alexander Graham Bell, whilst on an epic bender, became inextricably tangled in a bunch of electrical wiring. He was so drunk he was actually convinced his assistant was in the same room and asked him to help. The assistant however had been involved in a drunken argument with Alex, who had attempted to throttle him with the same wiring. The assistant had managed to stagger/flee from the wrath of the bearded pisshead, to his house next door, not realising the cable was still wrapped round his neck. When Alexander spoke to him he thought he was hearing voices.

It wasn't til about a month later that the assistant actually remembered the events and thus, after first eliminating a whole bunch of theories about whiskey and demonology, the telephone was discovered.

(we call them discoveries in scotland - invention implies intent)

[Triple Zero]

Oh. My. Fucking. God.



It started out
                     as a fart.



and then it was
MORE THAN A FART.


I can't believe it ---



  --- I actually just crapped my pants!


              --- at work











on the bright side, looks like I'm going home early today!

[P3nT4gR4m]

Perhaps we should even go back so far as to ask what we consider consciousness to be in the first place.

After all, if I consider it to be a confluence of electrochemical processes in my body, then I may be of the viewpoint that when those processes stop, so does my consciousness.

I reject that line of reasoning.

I am entirely too sexy to just vanish when I die.

It was just a hypothesis.  I have yet to come to any conclusion.

Available data:

1.  There is only so much sexy in the universe.

2.  Dok is one sexy bitch.

3.  If Dok is allowed to cease existing, there will be less sexy in the universe.

4.  If this is the way things work, the universe would have turned into Michael J Fox somewhere around 1600AD.

QED.

[Jenne]

[Cramulus]

When a new tree is first planted, it needs to be protected from animals who would strip its leaves and damage its new branches.  But when the tree matures, its leaves can provide nourishment for many animals and its great branches can offer a refreshing retreat from the hot sun or protection from a sudden storm.

When a person begins a new spiritual journey we should give them the same tender care we would give a young tree.   The extra effort invested in helping them grow can ultimately result in a mature spirit that provides nourishment and comfort to many, and makes the world around us more beautiful. 

okay okay he didn't really say that, but imagine!

[Jasper]

It was cognitive dissonance inducing. 

[Sir Squid Diddimus]

When a new tree is first planted, it needs to be protected from animals who would strip its leaves and damage its new branches.  But when the tree matures, its leaves can provide nourishment for many animals and its great branches can offer a refreshing retreat from the hot sun or protection from a sudden storm.

When a person begins a new spiritual journey we should give them the same tender care we would give a young tree.   The extra effort invested in helping them grow can ultimately result in a mature spirit that provides nourishment and comfort to many, and makes the world around us more beautiful. 

okay okay he didn't really say that, but imagine!

For a moment, I was REALLY confused.
Good one.

[LMNO]

...we are evil, senile old men.

Mwa ha ha ha!  Where am I?

[Sir Fronkensteen, The Hawk]

Pregnant women tend to have crazy heightened sense of smell.


...is there something you're not telling us?

silly.

I'M ASSUMING THAT'S A YES.  SQUIDDY IS PRAGNET!   

Fucking Pragnets, how do they work?

LOL Insane Clown Posse Miracles.

I love that song, and the SNL parody.

[No u]

Oi, I didn't accuse YOU of being Nazis.

And I'm not a noob..yet.

Oh I see, the Hitler in that pic is gesturing towards your avatar... you some kinda Nazi, punk?

Not a noob "yet"? So you're one of those backwards time-traveling nerds? Great.

I say feed him to Iason.

I'm flattered you'd like to think I'm masculine, my dear.

Too bad, I'm happily taken.

And JUST because I'm blonde with blue eyes DOES not make me a nazi.
"Heil Hitler..."

As opposed to time traveling, if you'd like to learn how, I take pay-pal.

Hey, kiddo, glad to see you made it.

Not in one piece, however.

I seem to be missing my penis.

Uh oh...Did someone let the damn Scrid out?

Nah...the time travelling has to work out its kinks.

Those are some hellacious kinks, if it left your penis behind.

Just think, somewhere, someone just got hit by a materializing penis.

[Chairman Risus]

[No u]

The first quote is inserted for context.  The last quote (although it wasn't originally here, but it was by one of our members) is the best post of the day...

Since Cheese was moved back to SIC, I opted to post my letter myself...

For starters, I would like to thank each and every one of my supposed "friends" who did so for calling my fiancee a liar.  I'm sure you will understand how well such disrespect to the woman I love has gone over with me, and how much it has affected my concerns for the well-being of these fora.  I can assure you that everything that she's said on these fora has come from me, as much of the time she has posted here, she and I have been on the telephone.  Which leads me to the reason for my requesting she do so...

I made it perfectly clear upon my departure that I have NO INTENTION OF RETURNING.  I have told two moderators and a few members here on other media that this was indeed the case.  Nonetheless, a select few have assume to know so much about me (apparently more than Mij) and continue to insist that I will be returning, and essentially calling her a liar when she tells you I'm not.  In fact, I was going to have her post this for me, but in order to avoid futher misunderstanding I can assure you, I WILL NOT be coming back. 

I have given the administration advise both as a member and moderator here.  Take a look around.  The reason these fora are in the state they are in is a result of that advise being disregarded.  Instead of moderating by the rules put forth here, moderators and elders alike have taken it upon themselves to rule with a heavy hand and a "make rules as we go" approach.  It's like deja-vous all over again.  A few here learned NOTHING from what happened here three years ago.  I'm sitting on the sidelines watching the forum self-destruct because of closed mindedness and a refusal to accept members here for who they are, and rather making them who the administration here thinks they should be.  This actions of the administration of the forum have, in my eyes, rendered this forum unworthy of the "wicca.com" moniker.  Closed mindedness and conformity is MOST DEFINITELY NOT what Wicca is about.  These characteristics are reminiscent of my upbringing in a Catholic household and in the Catholic Church, only instead of going to Hell, one is at risk of being banned for sinning.  Hecks, at least the Catholic Church remains within the confines of written rules.  In this respect, the governing of this forum is much worse.  I shudder at the thought of TCC as a country.  Imagine a government that can punish and banish its people at on a whim citing new laws that never existed.  You shun the uprising against the administration of this forum.  Could you imagine the uprising in such a country?

Since I've been a member at TCC, all members of ANY belief system have been welcome to express their beliefs in these hallowed halls.  I always admired that MO on this board, because as a Wiccan, it fits right into my ideals that all belief systems are valid.  I find it sad that the administration here has concluded that Discordia is an invalid belief system, and their expression of their beliefs is not welcome here.  This is one of many inconsistencies that affected my departure from these fora.

In closing, I have no further use for these boards.  I have no further use for the gossip and rumors.  I have no further use for the politics and poor judgment the administration.   And I most certainly have no use for those here who have chosen to show utter disrespect to and make unfounded accusations toward someone I care so deeply for.  The reason I came back to post this was not for TCC's benefit or any of its members or that I seek attention, but to clear the air of any misconceptions.  Reply if you will, but I WON'T be back to read any replies.  For those who hold so tightly to their illusions and truths that they will ride this ship down into the abyss, I bid you adieu.  For all of those who have open minds and wish to belong to a spiritual message board that actually delves into aspects of ALL forms of spirituality, I will invite you to join Mij and I at our new message board, TPC, The Pagan Cauldron http://thepagancauldron.proboards.com/index.cgi.

Or kill me

My 2nd facorite Discordian EVAR, Auqoq/PU


I... I can't believe this.  I... I can't believe this.  Is this happening?  Is this really happening?!  I'm in shock.

FW... You were the Chosen One! You were supposed to destroy the Discordians, not join them...Bring balance to the Truth, not leave it in darkness!

I feel like there are a thousand knives in my back...

I feel like there are a thousand molten needles in my eyes...

I feel like my "beloved" has just driven a rail spike through my skull...

And all for what?

Why?

Why would he do this to me?!  To us?! To TCC?! I just don't understand.  I... I can't understand right now.

I'm on my knees.  I'm on my knees crying with my face in my hands.  I can't take it.

Is this what you wanted from us, FW? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!

Someone... Please put me out of my misery.  Please.  I can't take this.   Oh God...  There's a panther of deceit mauling my heart right now!

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

ABUSE OF BEST POSTS OF THE DAY THREAD

[Cuddlefish]

ABUSE OF BEST POSTS OF THE DAY THREAD