Aww fuck I think I need to plan a bachelor party.

[navkat]

Who the fuck are these simpering nancies that want a stripper-less bachelor party?

I demand that their testicles be revoked.

Who said anything about stripperless? Okay, that's it. You get blackballed from all the strip clubs in one non-major city for a severed hand incident that wasn't even our fault and next thing you know, assumptions get made about restraining orders from all the strippers.

This is how rumors get started, you know.

I think most peoples' objections were related to exactly where the hand in question was when it was severed.

Hey, I'm not responsible for anyone under the age of twelve.

[Triple Zero]

we threw the almost-bride from a plane.

(safety regulations required us to attach her to a licensed guy with a parachute, though)

in addition to that there was a lot of boozing and hanging around and doing stupid things.

we had a few more things planned, such as a cocktail mixing workshop, but due to having to wait a bit longer than expected at the airport, we had to cancel that. but that was okay because the weather was nice and it was a small recreational airport (for skydiving, gliding etc) we could just sit and have a picknick on the grass while watching various things drop from the sky around us.

that's probably best, to plan a few simple, but fun "party" activities, but have them cancellable, so if time runs short or perhaps nobody just really feels like it anymore, you can just skip it.

you can probably also get inspiration from the typical activities that an office would book for their "day out teambuilding happy fun time", like lasergaming, paintballing, bear wrestling, etc. at least, in my experience, those activities are often listed as for "company day-outs or bachelor parties".

you should definitely make sure that all of his best friends are there, that is probably the most important for such a day. and you can also mail them for extra inspiration.

it's probably a good idea to rent a scooby van or something to drive the group around all day so you don't get everybody losing eachother in separate cars etc. we solved the designated driver problem by getting the bride-to-be's best friend who was pregnant, so she couldn't drink anyway. however your group might not be mixed--it's not very traditional, main reason was the bachelorette closest friends were mostly male.

You probably don't want to plan any fancy dinner. By the time it's evening and everyone has been about all day doing active stuff and drinking and being festive, you just want to order some good solid Chinese takeout, curry or pizza. It's good to be at someone's place that has a nice comfy couch to crash down on eat unheallthy food and drink a few cold beers. Waiting for the pizza delivery guy is probably also a good moment to accidentally have the stripper turn up.

What's also fun is to get the bachelor some ridiculous costume to wear all day. Or perhaps just some crazy bright pink orange pimp hat, or whatever. Just to make them recognizable as the party animal. At the very least get him a stupid custom printed T-Shirt with "HILARIOUSLY EMBARRASSING TEXT" on it.

Oh and finally, but this may be a bit weird if the tradition is completely unknown or inappropriate (not everybody does it here, either): You'll need a bouquet of roses. The bachelor, preferably wearing some nice suit or good clothes, has to offer (pretty looking) girls on the streets a rose in exchange for a kiss (on the cheek). Even better if you can come up with a good corny line that he has to say, one that both makes clear he's a bachelor and therefore last chance to kiss another girl or whatever [but for fun and just on the cheek] as well as make it cheesy romantic poetic possibly medieval sounding, if you get the idea.

[Eater of Clowns]

Damn, thanks Trip!

He has Fridays and Saturdays off, so he wanted it to be on a Friday to recover the next day.  That means most people won't be able to join until the evening, I imagine, but I'll certainly be around.  That would limit us to probably one good group activity before we get something to eat and then drink like maniacs.

[Eater of Clowns]

Whelp, we just got the best man involved.

Big mistake.

According to him his brother is "not a big drinker" (false) and we should just get a hotel room.  Then...hang out in it?  I guess?

So now instead of putting together ideas for an awesome bachelor party, I will be calling people begging them to show up for a really shitty one.

[Jenne]

I'd tell him, "Great idea!" and then invite people to do what you really want to do.  And when he whines say, "Oh, we decided to ramp it up."

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I'd tell him, "Great idea!" and then invite people to do what you really want to do.  And when he whines say, "Oh, we decided to ramp it up."

YES THIS.

AND SLEAZY SHIT IS MANDATORY.

HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT A SLEAZY BACHELOR PARTY.

PERIOD.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'd tell him, "Great idea!" and then invite people to do what you really want to do.  And when he whines say, "Oh, we decided to ramp it up."

YES THIS.

AND SLEAZY SHIT IS MANDATORY.

HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT A SLEAZY BACHELOR PARTY.

PERIOD.

Except that it really makes some people uncomfortable, and it would be a dick move to make the groom's bachelor party uncomfortable for him out of some misguided notion that it's "supposed" to be a certain way. Maybe he just wants to relax with his buds and celebrate the fact that he's found someone he wants to spend his life with, right?

[Dysfunctional Cunt]

Here's a thought......

Ask the groom what he expects in a bachelor party.

[Triple Zero]

I'd tell him, "Great idea!" and then invite people to do what you really want to do.  And when he whines say, "Oh, we decided to ramp it up."

YES THIS.

AND SLEAZY SHIT IS MANDATORY.

HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT A SLEAZY BACHELOR PARTY.

PERIOD.

Except that it really makes some people uncomfortable, and it would be a dick move to make the groom's bachelor party uncomfortable for him out of some misguided notion that it's "supposed" to be a certain way. Maybe he just wants to relax with his buds and celebrate the fact that he's found someone he wants to spend his life with, right?

I thought my suggestions weren't too uncomfortable-making and good hard fun for many bachelor, the "ramping up" seems to be more relative [and possibly slightly uncomfortable, but really not] for the best man, who seems to have decided to "ramp it down".

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Whelp, we just got the best man involved.

Big mistake.

According to him his brother is "not a big drinker" (false) and we should just get a hotel room.  Then...hang out in it?  I guess?

So now instead of putting together ideas for an awesome bachelor party, I will be calling people begging them to show up for a really shitty one.

Screw that. Take over and do it fine style.

[Jenne]

Yeah, if it's the GROOM putting out vibes that he wants to stay in and watch grass grow on the lawn, that's HIS dealio--but if he put out carte blanche within reason knowing who he is and who the usual suspects are...

THEN FUCK THE OTHER GUY--and just be polite and adult about it as I suggested.  A simple, "We just thought this would be more fun" actually goes a long way.  Esp if the wet blanket dude doesn't have to lift a finger or shell out dough.

[Salty]

it could be my locale but I definitely don't enjoy strippers, just doesn't do it for me. The one time I went to a strip club, granted I was 19 prone to anxiety attacks, I had an anxiety attack. I don't get the whole "I should enjoy that they're pretending to like me for money" thing.

So I wouldn't enjoy a sleazy bachelor party. However, sitting in a hotel room with a bunch of dudes doing not much of anything doesn't sound very fun either. I would enjoy getting tore up and finding ways of getting into trouble.

My suggestion: do something HORRIBLE to the best man.

[Triple Zero]

A simple, "We just thought this would be more fun" actually goes a long way.  Esp if the wet blanket dude doesn't have to lift a finger or shell out dough.

This!!!

[Jenne]

Strippers aren't necessary, I agree.  But doing the whole "he doesn't really drink, so let's just play gin rummy with the grannies" makes no sense, either, unless that's REALLY what the groom would enjoy doing.

And if THAT's the case...I'm questioning the whole idea of even DOING a bachelor party.  But then I'm a judgmental bitch.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'd tell him, "Great idea!" and then invite people to do what you really want to do.  And when he whines say, "Oh, we decided to ramp it up."

YES THIS.

AND SLEAZY SHIT IS MANDATORY.

HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT A SLEAZY BACHELOR PARTY.

PERIOD.

Except that it really makes some people uncomfortable, and it would be a dick move to make the groom's bachelor party uncomfortable for him out of some misguided notion that it's "supposed" to be a certain way. Maybe he just wants to relax with his buds and celebrate the fact that he's found someone he wants to spend his life with, right?

I thought my suggestions weren't too uncomfortable-making and good hard fun for many bachelor, the "ramping up" seems to be more relative [and possibly slightly uncomfortable, but really not] for the best man, who seems to have decided to "ramp it down".

I thought your suggestions were great.

I'm just saying that the groom asked for no strippers, and it sounds like he really means it. There are lots of ways to have fun without sleaze, and if the groom doesn't want sleaze then there's no reason to push it on him. You can have an awesome wild time with some food, booze, and a bonfire, or you can dress up and go bar-hopping in a limo, or any number of other options that don't involve making the guest of honor uncomfortable.

The thing to remember is really that his input is the only input that matters, because he should get to celebrate with his friends in a way that makes him happy. And fuck that whole "last day of singlehood" bullshit; most guys I know are excited to be getting married, it's not like they're sad to put bachelorhood behind them. A lot of failed bachelor parties I've heard about are ones where the people throwing it really couldn't grasp that the groom was all about he and his friends celebrating his impending wedding, not having his last big moment as a single guy. Weird shit like people insisting that he get a lap dance he really didn't want and felt strange and creeped out by afterward.

Don't do that shit. The bachelor party isn't for the groom's friends, it's for the groom. Do what you can to make it fun for him, and fuck what other people want or think you're "supposed" to do.