Female PUAs equivalent?

[Pope Pixie Pickle]

Only known communicable mental illness 

troof.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Every thread ends up at squid fucking

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/12/081222-squid-sex-weird.html

Of course. Is there anything else to talk about, really? We're only here because our squid overlords want us to marvel at their incredibly weird sex.

[The Wizard Joseph]

It's Cosmo Logic, in which taking the single most destructive possible course of action in your relationship will keep you one step ahead of the enemy, who in  this case is your boyfriend.

DING.

For what it's worth, I have never seen Cosmo in a happy home.

DEATH MATCH: ROMANCE! TWO WILL ENTER, ONLY ONE WILL LEAVE!

I imagine this being a situation in which if she wins, she gets to harvest his gonads and store them under her mantle for future fertilizations, and will feast upon his corpse to feed her growing baby. If he wins, he tears the infant out of her abdomen and learns how to lactate.

It occurs to me that nature has used these methods and probably much more that I am blissfully unaware of in the gentle dance of procreation. Humans are getting off light.. mostly.

Angler Fish.
Go on, google it.
Nevermind, got it here for you.

Ducks!

Also, Land snails!

Ah yes True Facts!

I had not yet seen the snail and I think maybe I did see angler fish. . But ducks I remember. It really messed with me when some of my more terrible friends showed me that.

I started looking into their symbolism in that light
This
http://spirit-animals.com/duck/

If Duck has come into your Dream;

To see Ducks flying in your dream signifies your spiritual freedom. They are your connections between the spiritual and the physical worlds. You have always got a choice about how you choose to see the world around you. By staying in the present moment you can find peace.  To see a Duck swimming is your connection with the unconscious and emotional body. They are reminding you that by allowing yourself to be vulnerable emotionally – you are freed to move on with your life. You have the ability to blend and adapt to different situations.
   

And this

http://www.witchipedia.com/beast:duck

Duck knows that family and a healthy social life are important. She is especially devoted to her children and is an intuitive mother. She also knows that people change and that people do things for their own reasons and doesn't take things personally. He feels his emotions deeply but he does not let them overwhelm him. Like the water he swims through, he rides them, dives deep into them when appropriate and walks away when the current is too strong. Duck's emotions and devotion is constant, but he doesn't wallow in them, except for fun. Duck is, however, devastated by loss. His devotion is steady even when the object of his devotion has gone and this can destroy him if he isn't careful.   

Go from banal to delightfully horrormirthy... they have no idea of the true nature of the beast.

This however

http://www.native-languages.org/legends-duck.htm

was worth the searching, sadly several links I tested were 404.
One story stood out and was an active link.

http://www.weeklystorybook.com/weeklystorybook/2010/01/how-the-duckpeople-got-their-fine-clothes.html

On a lake Old Man saw the Duck-people getting ready to go away, and at that time they all looked alike; that is, they all wore the same colored clothes.  

Sorry if that was a lot but you brought em up, I'm still trying to cope.

In my own worldview God made ducks, snails, koalas, ebola, and, perhaps most terribly, humans. What the fuck does that say about the great I Am exactly?
Equally terrible things.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Every thread ends up at squid fucking

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/12/081222-squid-sex-weird.html

Of course. Is there anything else to talk about, really? We're only here because our squid overlords want us to marvel at their incredibly weird sex.

The cephalopods' intimate encounters include cutting holes into their partners for sex, swapping genders, and deploying flesh-burrowing sperm 

Hm... found this article off the one posted. It's that we may actually be worse than a species with flesh burrowing sperm.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/01/070122-sex-change.html

I believe have imagined worse. Not by much though.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Every thread ends up at squid fucking

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/12/081222-squid-sex-weird.html

Of course. Is there anything else to talk about, really? We're only here because our squid overlords want us to marvel at their incredibly weird sex.

The cephalopods' intimate encounters include cutting holes into their partners for sex, swapping genders, and deploying flesh-burrowing sperm 

Hm... found this article off the one posted. It's that we may actually be worse than a species with flesh burrowing sperm.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/01/070122-sex-change.html

I believe have imagined worse. Not by much though.

And then there's this: http://www.nature.com/scitable/blog/accumulating-glitches/suicidal_reproduction_in_mammals

I can track down video if you wish.

[PopeTom]

It's Cosmo Logic, in which taking the single most destructive possible course of action in your relationship will keep you one step ahead of the enemy, who in  this case is your boyfriend.

DING.

For what it's worth, I have never seen Cosmo in a happy home.

DEATH MATCH: ROMANCE! TWO WILL ENTER, ONLY ONE WILL LEAVE!

I imagine this being a situation in which if she wins, she gets to harvest his gonads and store them under her mantle for future fertilizations, and will feast upon his corpse to feed her growing baby. If he wins, he tears the infant out of her abdomen and learns how to lactate.

It occurs to me that nature has used these methods and probably much more that I am blissfully unaware of in the gentle dance of procreation. Humans are getting off light.. mostly.

Angler Fish.
Go on, google it.
Nevermind, got it here for you.

Ducks!

Also, Land snails!

Also bedbugs.

Everything you need to know about bedbug sex.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GcFO8y-WDE

[The Wizard Joseph]

Every thread ends up at squid fucking

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/12/081222-squid-sex-weird.html

Of course. Is there anything else to talk about, really? We're only here because our squid overlords want us to marvel at their incredibly weird sex.

The cephalopods' intimate encounters include cutting holes into their partners for sex, swapping genders, and deploying flesh-burrowing sperm 

Hm... found this article off the one posted. It's that we may actually be worse than a species with flesh burrowing sperm.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/01/070122-sex-change.html

I believe have imagined worse. Not by much though.

And then there's this: http://www.nature.com/scitable/blog/accumulating-glitches/suicidal_reproduction_in_mammals

I can track down video if you wish.

No need but that's VERY interesting. If you only get one shot at genetic destiny best to just get all samurai and die trying it would seem.

The bit about the seasonal food supply and the females timing things ultimately producing the suicidal behavior... somehow seems fitting.