The Company Loves Me. The Have Sent Me a Friend.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I'm still trying to figure out of you paraphrased the conversation or if the HOLY happens irl

Not catching what you mean.

I'm trying to imagine you saying these things verbatim and while it's possible it reads like a movie script or fever dream, and I can't figure out if you write it that way because it's a better story or because that's exactly how you are in person.

It's more or less verbatim, at least to the best of my recollection of the conversation.  Many times I do change things for the story...In this case, however, I was SHOOTING for "fever dream".  I feel it is the best strategy.  Besides, he's here forever, he may as well just jump into the deep end.

I am far weirder inside my head than people see on the outside.  Even people who have met me.  In this regard, I am very much like Richter, which is probably why I enjoy hanging out with him so much.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I'm still trying to figure out of you paraphrased the conversation or if the HOLY happens irl

Not catching what you mean.

I'm trying to imagine you saying these things verbatim and while it's possible it reads like a movie script or fever dream, and I can't figure out if you write it that way because it's a better story or because that's exactly how you are in person.

You could always go to Tucson to find out. A Discordian Pilgrimage. But you'd never escape. Our Mecca is actually a giant sticky trap.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I've met him in person.  The above is most likely completely legit.

And I was on my best behavior.   

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

He worked so hard! Spent all that money! Got all the pieces of paper society told him to! The haircut! The dental work! Everything! And it all went so horribly wrong somehow. If only people would truly recognize his magnificence, things would just be so much better. *tears up* Poor lamb, I feel for him, truly.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I just spent my day sucking spilled fuel oil out of the ground through a straw. I'm glad there are Responsible People like you to guide the Leaders of Tomorrow. I am clearly not suited for the job.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

He worked so hard! Spent all that money! Got all the pieces of paper society told him to! The haircut! The dental work! Everything! And it all went so horribly wrong somehow. If only people would truly recognize his magnificence, things would just be so much better. *tears up* Poor lamb, I feel for him, truly.

All of his tickets are punched.  Where is corner office?

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I just spent my day sucking spilled fuel oil out of the ground through a straw. I'm glad there are Responsible People like you to guide the Leaders of Tomorrow. I am clearly not suited for the job.

SQUEEZE BULBS.  GODDAMN.

Why do I even have to SAY this shit?

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

True, but aside from that.

This is brilliant. Andrew got sent to the Madman of the Desert. The company actually went, we have just the guy to sort this, and sent him directly to you.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

True, but aside from that.

This is brilliant. Andrew got sent to the Madman of the Desert. The company actually went, we have just the guy to sort this, and sent him directly to you.

This is now twice that this has happened.  I am official traveling shouty guy, and now instructor on remedial humanity.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

He worked so hard! Spent all that money! Got all the pieces of paper society told him to! The haircut! The dental work! Everything! And it all went so horribly wrong somehow. If only people would truly recognize his magnificence, things would just be so much better. *tears up* Poor lamb, I feel for him, truly.

All of his tickets are punched.  Where is corner office?

In the basement, filled with roaches, yay! That will teach him to take a shit on the people using his bootstraps for a strop.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Oh dear. I can't wait to find out what a Station Morale Officer does. 

See above.  So far, they sit in their office and bawl when they think nobody is looking.

I can't blame him.  This must be a bit of a shock to him.

He worked so hard! Spent all that money! Got all the pieces of paper society told him to! The haircut! The dental work! Everything! And it all went so horribly wrong somehow. If only people would truly recognize his magnificence, things would just be so much better. *tears up* Poor lamb, I feel for him, truly.

All of his tickets are punched.  Where is corner office?

In the basement, filled with roaches, yay! That will teach him to take a shit on the people using his bootstraps for a strop.

We don't have basements, unfortunately.

But we do have the ancient, unused old training room.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I was just squashing this monster-ass scorpion with a hammer (a fairly routine thing), and he walks in the door.  He stops.  He stares.

"What?"

[Junkenstein]

"Did you find yours yet?"

Also, training room is a bad idea to me. Potentially far too private. What the boy needs is a desk where everyone can see exactly what he's doing all the time. A corridor would be my preference but that probably won't fly with your safety regs.

Unless the room is totally horrible, in which case, great.

Suggestion - Give him some kind of plant and tell him it's tied to his performance. Insert appropriate bullshit about dedication, care and duty and so on. Then salt it on the QT.