So, I went to my friend Ross's housewarming party. His girlfriend's mother had made a bunch of homemade biscotti for this event, and was taste-testing it for possible sale. They had arranged two slightly different recipes for each type, and were asking if there was a noticeable difference between each one.
Problem: It was an art crowd, so there were more than a few hipsters there. Almost all of them were +1s of Ross and his GF's actual friends.
The hipsters went on and on about which particular type of tea each variation would go best with. What's more, they were all trying to outdo each other on which bizarre tea would work best. I stood it as long as I could, then asked Lucy (Ross's GF) and her mother if I could try something.
I went in the kitchen, and put two of the exact same biscottis on each plate, and asked for one last round of taste tests. The hipsters did the same thing, calling out subtle differences, and declaring which jasmine/rose/whatever tea would go better with each one.
After about 5 minutes of this, I announce that I had made an error, and that there was no difference at all between the two biscottis.
Utter silence.
After a second or two, I heard Lucy hiccuping in the kitchen. I felt awful...Here was her housewarming party, and I'd gone and made her cry. I went into the kitchen, and there she was...Supporting herself on the sink, beside her mother, and both of them were wheezing with laughter, and trying to stay quiet.
Later, I was out back having a smoke, and one of the hipsters came out and told me what a shit I was. I smiled and agreed. He snarled a curse at me and left. I couldn't stop giggling.
A moment later, Lucy came out and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said that she'd always wanted to see a couple of them taken down a notch, and that it was the best housewarming party ever.
Jenn was amused, and told me that she'd always known there was a reason she keeps me around.
So, yeah. Not cut out for Tucson's excuse for an art crowd, don't care.
This is why we love you. Truly, I wish you lived in Toronto, but I think Rob Ford's existence would probably have you in jail.
:lulz: Stories like this are always a little bit pleasing.
Marry me, Roger. Please.
I had talked to Nigel on the way over, and I was reasonably certain before even arriving that things would go sideways...Based on the descriptions of some of the +1s that Ross had warned me about.
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:28:46 PM
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.
Hipsters appear to be a subset of Wankers*. Rule holds true across the board.
*not completely sure, hipsters haven't made it to the UK yet. Or maybe I've just never met any.
That was really quite awesome, Roger. Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 22, 2012, 05:34:13 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:28:46 PM
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.
Hipsters appear to be a subset of Wankers*. Rule holds true across the board.
*not completely sure, hipsters haven't made it to the UK yet. Or maybe I've just never met any.
I'm pretty sure the "Teddy Boy" was pretty fucking close.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger. Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.
Well, being told there was a difference might bias things, people tasting differences that didn't exist, etc...But the absolute CERTAINTY being displayed, plus the proclamations of which ever-more-obscure tea that would go with each one was a fucking hoot.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:50 PM
Quote from: P3nT4gR4m on October 22, 2012, 05:34:13 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:28:46 PM
ALL THAT HIPSTERS REQUIRE TO RUIN A PARTY IS FOR ASSHATS TO DO NOTHING.
Hipsters appear to be a subset of Wankers*. Rule holds true across the board.
*not completely sure, hipsters haven't made it to the UK yet. Or maybe I've just never met any.
I'm pretty sure the "Teddy Boy" was pretty fucking close.
I'm not that fucking old :argh!:
:lol: This both pleases and saddens me that I rarely come into contact with the hipster type.
I'm mildy surprised that no-one tried to play it off by saying they had an ultra-refined pallette and the biscotti must have been sitting on a different part of the pan and due to the added heat ratio the essence of certain ingredients were displayed more, affecting the taste
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:37:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger. Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.
Well, being told there was a difference might bias things, people tasting differences that didn't exist, etc...But the absolute CERTAINTY being displayed, plus the proclamations of which ever-more-obscure tea that would go with each one was a fucking hoot.
Please crash one of those wine tasting events. :lulz:
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 22, 2012, 06:23:52 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 05:37:07 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger. Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.
Well, being told there was a difference might bias things, people tasting differences that didn't exist, etc...But the absolute CERTAINTY being displayed, plus the proclamations of which ever-more-obscure tea that would go with each one was a fucking hoot.
Please crash one of those wine tasting events. :lulz:
Hell, I can probably get invited.
"What's in this shit? Grape juice or something?"
"Don't you have anything newer"?
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 06:26:55 PM
"Don't you have anything newer"?
:lulz:
"What's the use-by date on this stuff? You're feeding me 20 year old food? I should SUE YOU!"
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 05:35:17 PM
That was really quite awesome, Roger. Half of me wishes I could have been there, and half of me thinks I could have been one of the douchebags thinking I could tell the difference.
I wouldn't be able to do it with biscotti, but I've been known to pull that shit with some other stuff.
The important part is that instead of admitting they were full of shit, they told Roger off instead of laughing about it, which means they take themselves too seriously. Because when you're embarrassed quite so thoroughly, the only proper response is a "oh, no, this biscotti seems to have quite a bit of egg in it because I've managed to get it all over my face."
"is this wine fortified?"
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on October 22, 2012, 07:07:39 PM
"is this wine fortified?"
"If it was any good, they'd have put a screw cap on it."
That one won't work anymore -- the Stelvin cap really is better at preventing oxidation.
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 22, 2012, 07:13:52 PM
That one won't work anymore -- the Stelvin cap really is better at preventing oxidation.
Dammit.
That must be why I saw corked wine at Dollar General.
:lulz:
Roger, you're my hero.
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 08:11:55 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 22, 2012, 07:00:16 PM
which means they take themselves too seriously.
Hipsters.
Man, for a subculture based on irony that's pretty...uh, damn, what's that word I'm looking for?
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 22, 2012, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 08:11:55 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 22, 2012, 07:00:16 PM
which means they take themselves too seriously.
Hipsters.
Man, for a subculture based on irony that's pretty...uh, damn, what's that word I'm looking for?
Pretentious douchebag?
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 08:30:47 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 22, 2012, 08:13:31 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 08:11:55 PM
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on October 22, 2012, 07:00:16 PM
which means they take themselves too seriously.
Hipsters.
Man, for a subculture based on irony that's pretty...uh, damn, what's that word I'm looking for?
Pretentious douchebag?
No it was a different word, I'm really into it right now but you probably haven't heard of it. :evil:
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 04:43:31 PM
So, I went to my friend Ross's housewarming party. His girlfriend's mother had made a bunch of homemade biscotti for this event, and was taste-testing it for possible sale. They had arranged two slightly different recipes for each type, and were asking if there was a noticeable difference between each one.
Problem: It was an art crowd, so there were more than a few hipsters there. Almost all of them were +1s of Ross and his GF's actual friends.
The hipsters went on and on about which particular type of tea each variation would go best with. What's more, they were all trying to outdo each other on which bizarre tea would work best. I stood it as long as I could, then asked Lucy (Ross's GF) and her mother if I could try something.
I went in the kitchen, and put two of the exact same biscottis on each plate, and asked for one last round of taste tests. The hipsters did the same thing, calling out subtle differences, and declaring which jasmine/rose/whatever tea would go better with each one.
After about 5 minutes of this, I announce that I had made an error, and that there was no difference at all between the two biscottis.
Utter silence.
After a second or two, I heard Lucy hiccuping in the kitchen. I felt awful...Here was her housewarming party, and I'd gone and made her cry. I went into the kitchen, and there she was...Supporting herself on the sink, beside her mother, and both of them were wheezing with laughter, and trying to stay quiet.
Later, I was out back having a smoke, and one of the hipsters came out and told me what a shit I was. I smiled and agreed. He snarled a curse at me and left. I couldn't stop giggling.
A moment later, Lucy came out and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said that she'd always wanted to see a couple of them taken down a notch, and that it was the best housewarming party ever.
Jenn was amused, and told me that she'd always known there was a reason she keeps me around.
So, yeah. Not cut out for Tucson's excuse for an art crowd, don't care.
:lulz:
You just made my day, Man Yellow! I would've loved to have been there.
:lol:
Wait... I was looking for BAD behavior. If you've got the hostess AND her mother giggling in the kitchen, you have not behaved badly.
Quote from: Luna on October 23, 2012, 12:10:52 AM
:lol:
Wait... I was looking for BAD behavior. If you've got the hostess AND her mother giggling in the kitchen, you have not behaved badly.
They're bad people, too.
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 23, 2012, 12:52:26 AM
Quote from: Luna on October 23, 2012, 12:10:52 AM
:lol:
Wait... I was looking for BAD behavior. If you've got the hostess AND her mother giggling in the kitchen, you have not behaved badly.
They're bad people, too.
Nah... they got to the kitchen.
I wouldn't have gotten out of the room before laughing my ass off.
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 22, 2012, 04:43:31 PM
So, I went to my friend Ross's housewarming party. His girlfriend's mother had made a bunch of homemade biscotti for this event, and was taste-testing it for possible sale. They had arranged two slightly different recipes for each type, and were asking if there was a noticeable difference between each one.
Problem: It was an art crowd, so there were more than a few hipsters there. Almost all of them were +1s of Ross and his GF's actual friends.
The hipsters went on and on about which particular type of tea each variation would go best with. What's more, they were all trying to outdo each other on which bizarre tea would work best. I stood it as long as I could, then asked Lucy (Ross's GF) and her mother if I could try something.
I went in the kitchen, and put two of the exact same biscottis on each plate, and asked for one last round of taste tests. The hipsters did the same thing, calling out subtle differences, and declaring which jasmine/rose/whatever tea would go better with each one.
After about 5 minutes of this, I announce that I had made an error, and that there was no difference at all between the two biscottis.
Utter silence.
After a second or two, I heard Lucy hiccuping in the kitchen. I felt awful...Here was her housewarming party, and I'd gone and made her cry. I went into the kitchen, and there she was...Supporting herself on the sink, beside her mother, and both of them were wheezing with laughter, and trying to stay quiet.
Later, I was out back having a smoke, and one of the hipsters came out and told me what a shit I was. I smiled and agreed. He snarled a curse at me and left. I couldn't stop giggling.
A moment later, Lucy came out and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and said that she'd always wanted to see a couple of them taken down a notch, and that it was the best housewarming party ever.
Jenn was amused, and told me that she'd always known there was a reason she keeps me around.
So, yeah. Not cut out for Tucson's excuse for an art crowd, don't care.
This is.... :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
You gave me a warm fuzzy tingle all the way down to my toes, here. There is nothing I love more than hipsters being humiliated in front of each other.
Well, except making hipsters uncomfortable. God I love that.
Quote from: Luna on October 23, 2012, 01:16:21 AM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 23, 2012, 12:52:26 AM
Quote from: Luna on October 23, 2012, 12:10:52 AM
:lol:
Wait... I was looking for BAD behavior. If you've got the hostess AND her mother giggling in the kitchen, you have not behaved badly.
They're bad people, too.
Nah... they got to the kitchen.
I wouldn't have gotten out of the room before laughing my ass off.
Honestly, I wouldn't have tried.
Also, I was the tea and spice blendmaster for a local (once the best in Portland, now, sadly, not very good) coffee company for several years, and assisted with coffee buying. I actually do know tea inside and out and partly due to my abnormally sensitive sense of smell I have a keen, trained and refined palate for tea, coffee and spices, and could usually reverse-engineer a recipe through odor alone, although I'm a little rusty with terminology now and as I age I am betting that my palate is losing some acuity. I can tell when people are blowing smoke out their asses about tea, which is almost all the time that people talk about tea.
Also I drink Constant Comment, and I will shiv a motherfucker who makes fun. No, it's not high-class or pure or fancy or any of that shit, but it's cheap and it tastes good. I can't afford to drink any TGFWOP shit all the time.
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Amazing. I would have done this myself, if I got up the courage. This is the way to crash pretentiousness with class.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 03:27:55 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Holy shit. That sounds like a really fucked up hippie baby name.
Can't tea just be "fine", "good", "fair", "poor" or "dogshit" like everything else? :lulz:
Unfortunately, I think I identified four out of those six terms.
I am a bad person.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 25, 2012, 06:37:45 AM
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 03:27:55 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Holy shit. That sounds like a really fucked up hippie baby name.
Can't tea just be "fine", "good", "fair", "poor" or "dogshit" like everything else? :lulz:
For me, tea goes in order (best to worst):
Bad.
Awful.
Piss.
Red Rose.
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 25, 2012, 06:37:45 AM
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 03:27:55 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Holy shit. That sounds like a really fucked up hippie baby name.
Can't tea just be "fine", "good", "fair", "poor" or "dogshit" like everything else? :lulz:
No, because they needed a lot of words to be thoroughly precise about exactly what they were describing. "Tippy" = the leafy tip of new growth at the end of a twig. "Golden Flowery" = young leaves that are light in color. "Whole" = not broken. "Orange" = fully oxidized before drying (ie. neither green nor oolong). "Pekoe" = downy.
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 25, 2012, 06:01:19 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 25, 2012, 06:37:45 AM
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 03:27:55 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Holy shit. That sounds like a really fucked up hippie baby name.
Can't tea just be "fine", "good", "fair", "poor" or "dogshit" like everything else? :lulz:
For me, tea goes in order (best to worst):
Bad.
Awful.
Piss.
Red Rose.
Red Rose is truly special.
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 09:32:26 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 25, 2012, 06:01:19 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 25, 2012, 06:37:45 AM
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 03:27:55 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Holy shit. That sounds like a really fucked up hippie baby name.
Can't tea just be "fine", "good", "fair", "poor" or "dogshit" like everything else? :lulz:
For me, tea goes in order (best to worst):
Bad.
Awful.
Piss.
Red Rose.
Red Rose is truly special.
ONLY IN CANADA, YOU SAY? PITY!
(Yeah, pity the poor Canadians)
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 25, 2012, 09:33:34 PM
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 09:32:26 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 25, 2012, 06:01:19 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 25, 2012, 06:37:45 AM
Quote from: Man Green on October 25, 2012, 03:27:55 AM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 23, 2012, 08:00:15 AM
TGFWOP? Too Good For ?? ??? People?
Tippy Golden Flowery Whole Orange Pekoe. It's a tea grade.
Holy shit. That sounds like a really fucked up hippie baby name.
Can't tea just be "fine", "good", "fair", "poor" or "dogshit" like everything else? :lulz:
For me, tea goes in order (best to worst):
Bad.
Awful.
Piss.
Red Rose.
Red Rose is truly special.
ONLY IN CANADA, YOU SAY? PITY!
(Yeah, pity the poor Canadians)
You can totally buy it in the grocery store here. Bottom shelf, $3.99 for about 5000 teabags.
Red rose is the one with the little ceramic animals as prizes yeah?
Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on October 25, 2012, 10:25:48 PM
Red rose is the one with the little ceramic animals as prizes yeah?
Yes.
Kinda does. Sounds like something a grandmother would do.
The last time I saw a box, they wanted people to send money for the ceramic animals. "NO MORE FREE SHIT, YOU SOCIALIST MOOCH"
Vintage Red Rose TV commercial that probably got taken off for racism http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXEQhsZrkM8
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 26, 2012, 02:43:07 AM
The last time I saw a box, they wanted people to send money for the ceramic animals. "NO MORE FREE SHIT, YOU SOCIALIST MOOCH"
Vintage Red Rose TV commercial that probably got taken off for racism http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXEQhsZrkM8
See, I'm a bit torn there, because part of me is like, "yeah that's pretty racist" but the other part of me is like "dude, a chimpanzee band! That's fucking awesome!"
I had an idea for a joke band that had, among other things, a sign language bonobo playing bass (mainly because as far as fretted instruments go, if I figure that was the easiest for bonobo dexterity) really it would be a guy in a bonobo costume live. But part of the reason why I put him into the concept was because I think anything can be improved by the presence of a bonobo.
ETA: implications of racism occured to me there too, so one of the other members would be an African American cyborg.
This thread has given me a sudden urge to go troll hipsters.
Where would one have to go to do such a thing?
Quote from: Ecstasy on October 29, 2012, 11:14:14 PM
This thread has given me a sudden urge to go troll hipsters.
Where would one have to go to do such a thing?
Outside.
Quote from: Ecstasy on October 29, 2012, 11:14:14 PM
This thread has given me a sudden urge to go troll hipsters.
Where would one have to go to do such a thing?
Hipster central right here, bro. Have at those jerks. (http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php)
:jihaad: