UNLIMITED "Middle age man pretends to be a teenage girl on the internet" thread

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Yeah, those people are a heaping pile of NOPE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. IME, they nearly always turn out to be a little stalkery when it comes to girls they like and they have some, uh, questionable taste in porn.

And they always seem a little too interested in your teenage daughter.

[Internet Jesus]

Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

[Juana]

Yeah, those people are a heaping pile of NOPE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. IME, they nearly always turn out to be a little stalkery when it comes to girls they like and they have some, uh, questionable taste in porn.

And they always seem a little too interested in your teenage daughter.

Which is only okay if they themselves are teenagers. Frequently, they are not.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Yeah, was me. I'm not the nerdiest guy in the world. I like dorky shit as much as the next guy, so I hang out with nerds and dorks and fanboys from time to time. And sometimes they have nerds and dorks and fanboys that they're friends with and therefore I run into, and socialize with. I play D & D from time to time with them (been ages though).

Then there's always that one guy who you're friendly with for a couple of minutes until he starts talking about his cat girl D & D character and shows you pictures of her in anime style that he drew. Everything about this guy, his mannerisms, the shit he says, the depth of his interests, they all tell you this is the dorkiest guy you'll ever meet. And instead of feeling pity or mockery, or even the monkey urge to beat up someone lower than you on the food chain of dorks, you feel unsettled, you feel revulsion. Because you keep coming back to this catgirl character that he's playing, and how much he seems to enjoy playing this catgirl character.


Oh dear god, I think the catgirl is hitting on my priest character.....

I've had that exact experience. 

Word of advice, if you feel like pointing out the character traits that make so many folks find him off putting and trying to help because you're sick of the whining on why he can't get a date, don't.  You'd have a better time just hitting your head on a brick wall.

Oh, I had no interest in helping this guy. I had just met him, and already figured that he was beyond help.

You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

Some messes you know are unfixable with just a glance.

Unnatural predilection with teenage catgirls is one of those cues for unfixable, unless you happen to also be a teenage boy/teenage lesbian with questionable fashion sense.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

Yeah, those people are a heaping pile of NOPE NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. IME, they nearly always turn out to be a little stalkery when it comes to girls they like and they have some, uh, questionable taste in porn.

And they always seem a little too interested in your teenage daughter.

Which is only okay if they themselves are teenagers. Frequently, they are not.

Yep.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

It's about 1/8 black. That's pretty Nigel.

Hmmm...The fact that you are part Black seems very, very important to them.

Maybe you could color in the other people like Al Jolson.  That might make them happy.

But notice, the nice White people in the painting are being brutally victimized by the awful Black mob of Nigels.

Oh, yes, you're right.

Carry on. 

NIGEL:  WILL PILLAGE YOUR VILLAGE.

LIKE THE ANGRY VISIGOTH MOB THAT I AM.

I was wondering what that avvie was about.

I traced my family back to Visigoths. HEY Uncle BadTouch! I'M SMUDGEY!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

I am not sure whether to or at the description of Ratatosk. That's actually the most viciously condemning thing in the whole article.

I don't know either... 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I am not sure whether to or at the description of Ratatosk. That's actually the most viciously condemning thing in the whole article.

I don't know either... 

Well, this IS Discordia.  And while I may have perhaps a little too much tolerance for your HERESY and your MAYBE LOGIC SACRILEGE and DOIN' IT WRONG, not everyone is as saintly as I.  The Uncle BadTouch Kabal For Kids seems to not share my BOUNDLESS FUCKING COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING.

Because I love all of you fuckers.  Even the FBtards.  And all I ask is for a little love in return.  For my ass.  I think that's what's wrong around here.  Insufficient love for my scabby, hairy ass.

Where is the love, Rat?