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Topics - Cain

#1251
Or Kill Me / The Manifesto of the PFLD
December 09, 2006, 11:48:32 PM
This is a march of the damned.

By the damned, I mean the excluded.

We shall have a procession of ideas modernity has excluded.

Battalions of the accursed, lead by the ignored that we have exhumed, will march. You'll listen to them -- or they'll march. Some of them livid and some of them fiery and some of them rotten.

Some of them are philosophers, twitching, tottering, animated by abstract theorems that keep them alive. There are theologians that will walk by, though we mock them. There are magicians and scientists: they'll go by like Euclid, arm in arm with the spirit of anarchy.  Here and there will flit little artists. Many are clowns. But many are of the highest respectability. Some are assassins. There are pale scholars and gaunt warriors and mere maniacs and lively spies: The na?Øve and the cynical and the bizarre and the grotesque and the sincere and the insincere, the profound and the puerile.
The beyond-unrespectable, but the condemned, anyway.

The power that has said to all these things that they are damned, is Dogma, is Society, is Normality.

But we shall march.

The artists and freaks will distract attention, and the clowns will break the rhythm of the whole with their mindfucks -- but the movement of the march will keep on coming and coming.

It shall not stop, no matter how much you exclude us.  You cannot fight or oppose or kill what we stand for.  The crazed avatars of chaos will dance in the ruins of your theories, will laugh as your impressive towers, built on imaginary sand, tumble into the earth.

We are forced into the cracks between state and church and school and corporation and here we craft our bombs of logic and surrealism, weapons more potent than any devices of war, to wage our own endless insurrection.

We never died and we never went away and we never forgot.  And our numbers grow daily.  You can ignore us.  You can sideline us.  You can mock us, deny us an equal standing, hope that we will go away and no longer challenge you.  But you will never be rid of us.

We are here and we are the march of the Damned.  And by the damned we mean the free.
#1252
Literate Chaotic / Socrates vs Jesus
December 05, 2006, 04:13:47 PM
Socrates = greatest IRL troll ever, until he was permabanned from life.  :-(

http://www.unm.edu/~humanism/socvsjes.htm
#1254
Literate Chaotic / Nietzsche quotes
November 29, 2006, 01:12:35 PM
Ie; the smart stuff he said before the syphilis crossed the blood-brain barrier

,ÄúThe individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.,Äù

,ÄúIn individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule.,Äù

,ÄúPlato was a bore.,Äù

,ÄúI cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.,Äù

,ÄúIs not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?,Äù

,ÄúI tell you: one must have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star. I tell you: you still have chaos in you.,Äù

,ÄúI conjure you, my brethren, to remain faithful to earth, and do not believe those who speak unto you of super terrestrial hopes! Poisoners they are, whether they know it or not.,Äù

,ÄúIf a man have a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.,Äù

,ÄúBelieve me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!,Äù

,ÄúIn heaven all the interesting people are missing.,Äù

,ÄúOne often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed.,Äù

,ÄúThe surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.,Äù

,ÄúHow good bad music and bad reasons sound when we march against an enemy.,Äù

,ÄúAnd we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.,Äù

,ÄúMy time has not yet come either: some are born posthumously.,Äù

,ÄúNot every end is a goal. The end of a melody is not its goal; however, if the melody has not reached its end, it would also not have reached its goal. A parable.,Äù

,ÄúAgainst boredom, even the gods struggle in vain.,Äù

,ÄúLet us beware of saying that death is the opposite of life. The living being is only a species of the dead, and a very rare species.,Äù

,ÄúBe careful in casting out your devil 'lest you cast out the best thing about you.,Äù

,ÄúLive in danger. Build your cities on the slopes of Vesuvius.,Äù

,ÄúNothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride.,Äù

,ÄúHe who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures.,Äù
#1255
Literate Chaotic / How to Deconstruct almost anything
November 22, 2006, 02:48:25 PM
This is the story of one computer professional's explorations in the world of postmodern literary criticism. I'm a working software engineer, not a student nor an academic nor a person with any real background in the humanities. Consequently, I've approached the whole subject with a somewhat different frame of mind than perhaps people in the field are accustomed to. Being a vulgar engineer I'm allowed to break a lot of the rules that people in the humanities usually have to play by, since nobody expects an engineer to be literate. Ha. Anyway, here is my tale.

http://www.info.ucl.ac.be/~pvr/decon.html
#1257
Literate Chaotic / Know thy foe
November 17, 2006, 02:21:24 AM
http://www.ccel.us/Titles.html

Knowledge is power, after all.  You can't hope to undo a mindset without understanding it.
#1258
Literate Chaotic / Hey Mickey
November 17, 2006, 01:12:11 AM
Temporarily removed in order to improve it.

Cain,
annoying perfectionist
#1259
Literate Chaotic / ITT I review the Turner Diaries
November 13, 2006, 08:15:32 PM
No troll.  I have a pdf and am reading it for a laugh.  I will let you know what I think once I finish this chapter.
#1260
Or Kill Me / LDD Sermon 7
November 13, 2006, 01:14:49 PM
,ÄúI could have you all that I love you,Äù
- Life like Weeds, Modest Mouse

,ÄúBut some things will never change
try to show another way but you stayin' in the dope game ,Äú

- Changes, 2Pac

The future teaches you to be alone the present to be afraid and cold
'So if I can shoot rabbits then I can shoot fascists'

- If You Tolerate This (then your children will be next), Manic Street Preachers


So you didn't do it.  I didn't think you would, but I hoped he would prove me wrong.  None of you even came close to killing the Good Reverend.  Well, actually, thats not the whole story.  You nearly fashioned ennui into a weapon of its own accord.  You may not have killed him, but you bought him closer to dying the only death that really matters ,Äì the death of the mind, the little deaths the Con inflicts every day.  Follow him, do this, don't disagree, you are powerless and the world is unchangeable.  Thats their tune, not ours.  Who's doing the thinking right now, you or them?  Can you even tell the difference?

The Reverend was like unto a Rebel God from Subgenius lore.  His sermons, stripped down to their most basic level were the same things those odd entities who oppose the Elder Gods have been screaming since the Universe was born; get ready.  This is the future.  You can fight, or you can submit and wither and die the truth death, the mind-death of the Con.

But what did you do?  You saw the problem, once explained and laid out, it seemed obvious.  The blinds were pulled from your eyes, for the moment, but then you fell back into programmed thinking.  I am a small, lone voice in a Universe that doesn't care......

I despaired of this to the point of giving you the damn tools themselves.  I didn't want to, but I felt it necessary.  You looked at his sermons, said ,Äúgood show,Äù, thought about it a bit then went back to your lives.  I rarely replied unless I had something constructive to say, you may or may not have noticed.  But I read every one of them.  And I thought and when I couldn't think any longer, I went to the library or the bookstores.  There are books out there the Con never meant for peasants like me to look at.  Nasty little books which teach the blackest arts.  Nothing so boring or ineffective as magick or ancient rituals.  No, modern rituals of death, deception and destruction.  How to kill silently and in the dark...how to break a man....how to manipulate the thoughts of others....strategy...law.....realpolitik....a thousand and one techniques all able to be used in a thousand and one ways, many that were never considered by their blinkered authors, so single-minded and of one purpose they could never think in another way.  I took all of these and thought until it hurt and put pen to paper and came up with things that worked, within my own odd moral code.

But I didn't have to.  And perhaps I shouldn't have.  Not a single person has approached me and said ,Äúalright, lets get this rolling.,Äù  Not one.  You did the same as with Roger, even when the tools were laid out for you, ready for the taking.

So maybe I was mistaken.  Why should I bother playing for this team when all it will lead to is harassment, lawsuits and a poor life?  I don't have to work for the Discordians, you know.  My conscience is not so strong I can't strangle it.  The Con pays well nowadays, not to mention its most faithful servants can get up to all sorts of hijinks, with a certain amount of discretion.  I could be the next Henry Kissinger.  Or the next Ayman al-Zawahiri.  Its so much easier than you could ever imagine.

What the hell do you people want?  What do you need?  Are you after another leader, because thats how it looks from back here.  Have you considered leaders are exactly how this problem started in the first place?  Or are you waiting for the final confirmation?  The death camps, the slave labour and the indefinite detention.  The idea is to nip those in the bud before they happen.

The police state has arrived.  It came piecemeal, in a creeping fashion over the last 25 years.  You want final confirmation where there will be none.  Water on stone is the method of their advance.  Drip, drip, drip....and thus the nature of the stone is changed.  But thats only one way it can go.  Sun Tzu teaches that the shih, the natural force that exists from moment to moment in the contextual nature of the environment around us, can be turned to victory by the able commander.  Are you an able commander?  And if not, why not?

Strategy is my god, as Eris is the handmaiden of war and the power that lies behind every indirect attack.  And strategy dictates that I measure effectiveness by results, not eloquent talk.  There has been too much eloquent talk.  Explain your defeat and go and win, or get out of my sight, because only your deeds will matter.  The Assassins knew this, their sect held the only truth was action and the only reasons for actions were held by the Imams.  In Discordianism, you are the Imam.  You have the reasons, but you do not act.  Strategy has a simple logic and one that rings true down the ages ,Äì if you want something, you have to act for it.  No wishing and sitting around will ever work and is only the dream of fantasists.

Only through conflict is anything solved.  This conflict need not be violent, but it must exist.  Your timidity is nothing more than another control device.  Its not even your thought, its theirs.  Only through confrontation can civilized values be retained, can be protected from the grim death that awaits you in the underbelly of the Con.  If you are not even committed to your own defence, then we have nothing more to say to each other.
#1261
http://metaphilm.com/philm.php?id=29_0_2_0

:|  I'm half convinced.....until I remember about the grids....
#1262
Literate Chaotic / The Iron Heel by Jack London
November 10, 2006, 05:01:54 PM
http://www.sacred-texts.com/utopia/ih/index.htm

This is awesome and scary.  Written in 1907, but could have easily been done today, by any of us.  1984 is a crock of shit compared to this.
#1263
Or Kill Me / LDD Sermon 6: Going Viral
November 01, 2006, 04:20:42 PM
LDD Sermon 6: Going Viral

When something goes viral, it means that people start to pass it along to their friends, and they to their friends, until ultimately everyone's talking about it.

- Alex Shifrin

"Nonviolent actions are almost completely useless when deprived of media exposure."
- Antonio Negri


So I've laid out the plans and shown you all how Discordianism could become even more decentralized and effective.  I've talked at some length about how subversion is our ultimate tool and should inform any strategy the activists among us intend on.  What I haven't done is told you how to get to this stage.

Quite simply, Discordianism needs to go viral.  It needs to be springing up like weeds, everywhere with no sign of how it appeared, with self-starting Cabals becoming more and more common.  Of course, this process is already underway, thats how Discordianism works.  Someone reads the book, passes it onto their friends and the next thing you know they're a cabal.  What I propose is a refinement of the process, to speed it up.

The first thing is that there need to be numerous sources on it.  As things stand, there are about 5/6 professionally done Discordian sites and the rest are largely personal pages.  Now, this isn't too bad, except that most of the dissenting and differing opinions are on a few big sites and nowhere else.  To lay the foundation for what I suggest, everyone should probably create their own site (look up Geocities and other free hosting places) and put a few of their own interpretations on there, as well as a links page to the rest of the sites and the larger forums.

Thats the base.  The next stage is where it gets tricky.  The next stage would be to gain media coverage, to draw attention to Discordianism.  Unfortunately, the most effective example in going viral in recent history is Al-Qaeda.  Once a unified terrorist organization, in the space of 5 years it has become a bona fide movement, with self starting cells being set up in over 60 countries.  Say what you like about their aims, but from a marketing point of view, thats a huge success.

Of course, I don't suggest something as retarded as blowing up a building.  Thats just stupid.  What I am thinking of, however, would be some sort of massive jake.  Something that would embarrass the powers that be, that is distinctive, but most importantly something that can then be linked to Discordianism.  I'm sure if we thought about it, we could think of something.  A video of whatever it is would be good too, maybe a follow-up one as well, a sort of mock statement from so-and-so of the Something or Other of the Discordian Society.

Step three would then be to make sure that the media coverage was backed up with our own spreading of the event, via things like MySpace and YouTube.  People see what happens, get interested and check it out via the web.  And what do you know, there are all these sites all over the place....I would suggest it happened in the USA, however.  The USA has the largest concentration of cable channels and media outlets in the world and so is the obvious place to stage anything.

From there on in, it is most likely out of our hands.  We will have created some runaway monster of some description.  This should be no problem for us.  We should be naturals at this.  Look how Banksy's stock went up after one trick. Hell, look at Fathers4Justice, they took one gimmick of dressing up as superheroes and mounting protests and ran with it for as far as they could go and still got national coverage up to the bitter end.  We really should've done stuff like this a long time ago.
#1264
Literate Chaotic / Just another night
October 31, 2006, 11:07:09 PM
,ÄúSo, you like to hurt people then?,Äù Chris said as he grabbed the guy by the shirt and threw him against the wall.  I stood back, my arms crossed, waiting for it to finish.  The guy blinked as Chris stepped back, only to cry out as a knee went into his groin.

I considered stepping in, but had second thoughts.  There was still blood and broken bottles all over the place inside and it had already been a trying night.  That the punk had tried glass someone and then taken a swing at one of the barmaids just wasn't nice.  I still winced as the punk was smashed against the brick wall again, however.

The guy tried to stand upright, but his knee collapsed and Chris started on him again, kicking him all over.  I decided to step in.

,ÄúFor fucks sake man, are you wasted?  You're going to kill this shit if you keep it up!,Äù  I grabbed him and pulled him back off the guy.  He bent over and caught his breath, then said quietly ,Äúfuck killing him, I just wanted him to wake up in a world of pain.,Äù  There was a look in his eyes that worried me, though it could just have been the orange glow of the street lights.
,ÄúGet inside and clean yourself up, I'll deal with this.,Äù  His hands were covered in blood, probably from when he broke his nose before dragging him out to this empty car park that was next to the club.

He nodded curtly and walked inside.  The guy on tarmac was still breathing, though he didn't sound too good.  I rolled him on his side, so he wouldn't choke on his own puke, then checked my watch.  Crap, it wasn't even 1am....
#1265
Literate Chaotic / Fear and Loathing on the Internet
October 27, 2006, 07:44:49 PM
We were trolling on MysticWicks with a shared account, somewhere on the edge of the internet, when the drugs started to take hold.

I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded, maybe you should takeover baiting" and suddenly there was a terrible roar and the forum was full of what looked like huge fluff bunny Wiccans, swooping and moaning and whining around our account.

"Holy Jesus, what are these goddamn animals?"

Very soon, we would both be completely twisted, but there was no going back, we would have to ride it out.

The backrooms of HIMEOBS were like a narcotics lab.  I blamed Captain Da. We had two bags of grass, 75 caffeine pills, two crates of Red Bull, 5 sheets of acid and a whole galaxy of uppers downers, screamers, laughers, half a salt shaker full of cocaine...and half a pint of raw ether.

Not that we needed that, but when you get locked into a serious trolling habit, the tendency is to push it as far as you can go.

Sympathy for the Devil was the only CD we had...so we played it on repeat as a demented counterpoint to the radio....

"Hey, there's a n00b who doesn't look like a moran, lets give him a go on the troll account."

"Are you crazy? That kid's probably an undercover admin."

Before I could mount any argument, we were logged out and I got the MSN message "hot damn! I never trolled a forum before!"
,ÄúIs that right, well I guess you're about ready huh?,Äù
,ÄúWe're your friends, we're not like the others.,Äù
,ÄúOh Christ, he's gone around the bend....No more of that talk or I'll put the leeches on you.,Äù

How long could we maintain, how long before one of us starts raving and ranting at this boy?  This same website was the last known location of Giggles.  Will he make that same grim connection when the Captain starts screaming about bats and huge emo kids flaming his troll?

Well, we'll just have to post him disguised links of the Last Measure.  He'd report us at once to some Nazi moderator and they'd hunt us down like dogs.

Jesus, did I just type that?  Or just thinking it?  Was I writing?  Could he read anything?

,ÄúCan you read this?,Äù
,ÄúThats good, because I want you to know we're on our way to Gaia.com to find the Trolling Dream.  I want you to have all the background because this is a very ominous assignment with overtones of extreme personal danger.  Hell, I forgot about the Red Bull, you want one?,Äù
,ÄúNaw.,Äù
,ÄúHow about some ether?,Äù
,ÄúWhat!?,Äù
,ÄúNever mind.  I want you to understand that this man signing up the fake accounts is Captain Da, he's not just some dingbat I grabbed off the Strip.  Shit, look at him, he doesn't look like you or me right.  Thats because he's a foreigner  I think he's probably Tongan, it doesn't matter.  Are you prejudiced?,Äù
,ÄúHell no!,Äù
,ÄúI didn't think so.  In spite of his race, this man is extremely valuable to me.  This is important goddamnit, this is a true story.

,ÄúHey, keep your hands off my fucking neck!,Äù
#1266
Or Kill Me / Cain contra Robert Anton Wilson
October 27, 2006, 03:18:47 PM
(Yes, from the title you have probably guessed I am getting my Nietzsche on)

OK, so you wanna know why I don't like RAW?  Why I have a tendency to stomp n00bs who mention his name, why I make fun of Illuminatus! And generally act like a jerk towards people who ape his ideas?

Alright then.  I'll go with the aesthetics then go a bit deeper with the other stuff.  But first, I really don't like his writing style.  When I read something, I don't particularly want to be playing mental mind games with the text, or having to flip over three pages of pretentious imitation Joyce style writings about taking acid.  There's being complex due to the subject matter and then there is just being a pain in the ass, which RAW's fiction tends towards.

But the reason I really dislike RAW is he took something that was meant to be, to a degree, indefinable and went and created a whole damn subculture based around it.  If you read some of the other stuff by Hill and Thornley, you'll notice they were quite into their Zen.  One point that really stuck with Thornley in Zen thought is that naming something essentially destroys it.  Once you have a name, you can caricature it, you can define and exclude and you can eventually subvert it.  Once something has a definable set of ideas and symbols linked with it, it'll be in Hot Topic next week.  And once the Con has its hands on a movement, it ceases to be relevant or dangerous to the prevailing orthodoxy.

Now Illuminatus! did contain a lot of things that were only mentioned in passing by Thornley and Hill, yet were definitely in the Principia Discordia.  The Illuminati, the fate of Ambrose Bierce and Yog-Sothoth come to mind.

But now, every aspiring Discordian seems to think they have to be into these sort of things!  If you can't jabber on for hours about the mystic import of the number 23 (none), or the majesty of the works of H. P. Lovecraft (relatively mediocre), talk like you've been dropping acid non-stop since your third birthday or act like you're stuck in the 1960s then you aren't doing it right.

RAW, in essence, has created his own counter-orthodoxy within a group that shouldn't stand for any of it.  Now because every basement dwelling sockfucker once played Call of Cthulhu, he thinks that makes him a Discordian.  He created a set of interests every Discordian should have and can be identified by, because he created a common reality in Illuminatus! that is probably the single most harmful thing anyone has done to Discordianism since its creation.  Drawing people into a common reality stifles the creative processes and growth of group, because everyone comes to the table with their ideas pre-defined for them.  Thats one of the many reasons I am glad I discovered Discordianism in general and PrincipiaDiscordia.com in particular long before I read any RAW.

There is also the matter of his status.  I remember a ,ÄúDiscordian,Äù coming onto this here board asking for ,Äúwords of wisdom,Äù from one of the Discordian founders.  Create your own damn words of wisdom!  Shit, didn't any of that book actually sink into your skulls?  You are your own spiritual authority.  You can steal as many ideas as you can get away with, but for the love of sweet Baby Jeebus stop looking to others for your own development, you fucking Cabbages!  Thats what created this mess in the first place, people constantly looking to others for orders instead of doing their own thing.  How aneristic.  And RAW is one of the people most of this sort of Cabbage look to for leadership.

Now, I don't hold this against RAW personally.  Going by his personality, he is probably just as tired of people sucking up to him as I am.  I'm sure he didn't intend to be become the cult figure he did, which is what makes it all the more tragic.  I'm almost certain he didn't intend for the book to be as popular as it was.  Personally, he seems a nice guy who has done a lot of interesting things, written some interesting books (Prometheus Rising is fascinating, its hard to deny, as well as his non-fictional work on conspiracies) and is much smarter in a lot more fields than I could be.

But seriously, the only word for some of you people is Bobbies.  You're trying to turn this irreligion which has some pretty interesting and insightful ways of looking into the world into a Bob Anton Wilson fan club.  Didn't you fuckers learn anything from the example of Jesus?  Shit.
#1267
Literate Chaotic / Merged literary works
October 14, 2006, 05:44:39 PM
Second Runner-Up: "Machiavelli's The Little Prince"
Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.

First Runner-Up: "Green Eggs and Hamlet"
Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.

And the Winner of the Dancing Critter: "Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities"
An '80s yuppie is denied books. He does not object, or even notice.

    Honorable Mentions:

"Where's Walden?"
Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is always in the woods.

"Catch-22 in the Rye"
Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you're flunking out of prep school, you're probably not insane.

"2001: A Space Iliad"
The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane 10-year war against the Greeks after falling victim to the Y2K bug.

"Rikki-Kon-Tiki-Tavi"
Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove Rudyard Kipling's theory that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia.

"The Maltese Faulkner"
Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam's struggles with race and family? Does it signify his decay of soul along with the soul of the Old South? Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts to understand? Or is it worth a cool mil?

"Jane Eyre Jordan"
Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead the Chicago Bulls to the NBA championship.

"Looking for Mr. Godot"
A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her life. She has a loooong wait.

"The Scarlet Pimpernel Letter"
An 18th-century English nobleman leads a double life, freeing comely young adulteresses from the prisons of post-Revolution France.

"Lorna Dune"
An English farmer, Paul Atreides, falls for thedaughter of a notorious rival clan, the Harkonnens, and pursues a career as a giant worm jockey in order to impress her.

"The Remains of the Day of the Jackal"
A formal English butler puts his loyalty to his employer above all else, until he is persuaded to join a plot to assassinate Charles deGaulle.

"The Invisible Man of La Mancha"
Don Quixote discovers a mysterious elixir which renders him invisible. He proceeds to go on a mad rampage of corruption and terror, attacking innocent people in the streets and all the while singing "To fight the Invisible Man!"until he is finally stopped by a windmill.

"Singing in the Black Rain"
A gang of vicious Japanese druglords beat the crap out of Gene Kelly.

"Of Three Blind Mice and Men"
Burgess Meredith has his limbs hacked off by a psychopathic farmer's wife. Did you ever see such a sight in your life?

"Planet of the Grapes of Wrath"
An astronaut lands on mysterious planet, only to discover that it is his very own home planet of Earth, which has been taken over by the Joads, a race of dirt-poor corn farmers who miraculously developed rudimentary technology and evolved the ability to speak after exposure to nuclear radiation.

"Paradise Lost in Space"
Satan, Moloch, and Belial are sentenced to spend eternity in a flying saucer with a goofy robot, an evil scientist, and 2 annoying children.

"The Exorstentialist"
Camus' psychological thriller about a priest who casts out a demon by convincing it that there's really no purpose to what it's doing.

"Gone with the Wind in the Willows"
The merry antics of Mole, Rat, Badger and Mr. Toad as they burn a swathe of destruction through Georgia during the American Civil War.

"Heart of Dave Barry Turns 50"
Dave Barry takes a dark but humorous journey to visit his god-like doctor to have his prostate examined. In the office he nearly succumbs to the cold sterile atmosphere of the examining room but he escapes after killing his doctor. He then takes us on a sharp-witted tour of Disney World
#1268
Or Kill Me / LDD Sermon #5
October 08, 2006, 02:00:14 PM
If you do not have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.
- Luke 22:36, attributed to Jesus

The more guilty and villainous the ruler is and the further he goes in open abuse of his unlimited wrongful authority, the more he will leave room for hope that the people will at last...put an end forever to so violent and irrational a form of government.

,Äî Vittorio Alfieri, from Della Tirannide, Vol. II, Chap. 7

Attacks must be answered. An assertion unanswered is an assertion agreed to.
,Äî Geoff Garin



All right, so you want to know what to do?  Well, going around asking people what you should be doing is probably half of the problem, but thats for another time.

Lets lay the scenery out:  The crowning achievement of the Enlightenment era, the Constitution, is effectively dead in the water, power transferred to the executive in an outright mockery of everything a republic stands for.  Haebus Corpus doesn't exist if someone shouts the words ,Äúterrorist,Äù and you may very well end up in a simulated drown scenario until you ,Äúadmit,Äù to your crimes.

Across the pond, the mother of Parliaments is gearing up to surrender its power to an already despotic leadership.  Evidence gathered by torture is permissible as evidence, free speech has been effectively destroyed and kidnap is a standard procedure used against legitimate civil dissent, if you accept no-one should be in prison for more than 24 hours without charge, anyway.  15 years after the Soviet camps were cleared, the Americans were allowed to build their Gulags in Eastern Europe.

And now you want to do something.

Some would say ,Äúget stuffed,Äù and I would certainly be inclined to.  People have been hollering about this crap for years and only now you've realized the problems?  Police states are built by small steps, as to remove the problems of a backlash.  But as much fun as gloating is, it doesn't actually do much, except perhaps give you the warm glow of satisfaction that will keep you warm at night in your open air cell.

So I'm presenting my ideas, for what they're worth.  I can sum it up in one word, then go on to explain.  The word is quite simple: subversion, subversion subversion.

What is subversion?  Nothing less than the total undermining of the current social and political landscape.  The entire world view of the current majority must be shattered, so that the broken shards can be used in building a better tomorrow.

But I promise more than mere words.  I promise ideas that can be put into practice, to achieve this most lofty of goals.  That was why I changed my Discordian writing style, to go from bitching to constructive and useful advice, after all.

First thing is first, we cannot afford to act alone.  There are simply not enough Discordians (who call themselves Discordians) who can actually do much.  Latent Discordians are another matter...but you have to find them first.  So its going to involve working with other groups.  Thats to say, the Subgenii who aren't too jaded to fight the Con, the Libertarians, Anarchists, Cyberpunks...hell, anyone who feels they are losing out due to the current situation and wants a change.  There isn't  a place for ideological purity in this revolt...Find a group that has a localized grudge and show them the best way of getting back at the current situation.

We gotta actually start talking to these groups, either as individuals or as groups.  Unless we can chat tactics with them, there is a good chance they will settle for a lame ass protest or something.  It also means we cannot figure out what is actually working out there.  With multiple groups, all doing multiple things and getting multiple levels of success, it quickly becomes clear what is working and what is not.  When you start to see good returns on investment into your subversion, you know you're onto a winner combination.  Also, the potential of several small groups working together can be in fact more effective than one individual group with a large scale subversion (I'll add Open Source Chaos on the end of this to illustrate this more*).

Subversion can be interchangeable with disruption, in my mind.  Terrorism is often seen as the ultimate form of subversion, not for the violence it causes but because of the creation of a parallel society.  Secret societies in the past were similar, such as the Triads and Freemasons.  Globalization is the buzzword of the 21st century, but it has a flipside in the black economy, as now secret groups use modern technology and cross borders in order to create a fast buck.  They disrupt the profits of the corporate structures that underpin the modern economy.  Of course, this is just one example.  Corporate structures are also part of the larger economic process of the area in which they are situated.  A subversion ,Äútax,Äù caused by disruption would upset the economic equilibrium of the city and could force a city to the brink of total civil disorder (the estimated cost for this in New York would be $40 billion, for example.  While a large number, NY lost a billion a day due to the 2003 power blackout).

Systems disruption is something I can talk about for ages.  The simple fact is that most systems in the modern world are based on other systems and these are invariably centralized.  This holds true from everything to power stations to social dynamics.  To quote that strategic master, Robert Green,  you should strike at the shepard in order to make the sheep scatter.  By picking a high profile target and successfully undermining them, you can collapse an entire structure.  By attacking a high-load node (something where a lot of something passes through) the result can be a cascading failure that spreads quickly and with devastation throughout an entire network.

I can go on and on (and will, given the chance), but the real problem is kicking this whole thing off.  This is a giant gunpowder keg here, all it needs is a fuse to make it go off....what is that fuse?  A plausible promise following a successful subversion.  Something simple like ,Äúwe can rid America of these assholes who care nothing for our rights,Äù.  Once you've done that, shown that you've done it and bragged repeatedly about it in the right (wrong?) circles, then the process starts.

I won't pretend that this is easy.  Its not.  It will involve inventiveness, patience and a good deal of courage.  It will be hard, unrewarding in the start and will involve a whole new way of thinking, one I've only begun to grasp myself.  But it is possible and it can be done.  Lets show them that we know what Discord is and how to use it.  Lets undermine these bastards and take back what is ours.







---------------------------------------------------


*Open Source Chaos:  Building on O:MF

The decentralized, and seemingly chaotic guerrilla war in Iraq demonstrates a pattern that will likely serve as a model for next generation terrorists. This pattern shows a level of learning, activity, and success similar to what we see in the open source software community. I say we apply it to the guerrilla warfare of the mind and paradigms.

Release early and often.  Try new forms of attacks against different types of targets early and often. Don,Äôt wait for a perfect plan.

Given a large enough pool of co-developers, any difficult problem will be seen as obvious by someone, and solved. Eventually some participant of the bazaar will find a way to disrupt a particularly difficult target. All you need to do is copy the process they used.

Your co-developers (beta-testers) are your most valuable resource.  The other guerrilla networks in the bazaar are your most valuable allies. They will innovate on your plans, swarm on weaknesses you identify, and protect you by creating system noise.

Recognize good ideas from your co-developers. Simple attacks that have immediate and far-reaching impact should be adopted.

Perfection is achieved when there is nothing left to take away (simplicity). The easier the attack is, the more easily it will be adopted. Complexity prevents swarming that both amplifies and protects.

Tools are often used in unexpected ways.  An attack method can often find reuse in unexpected ways.

Swarms vs. single group activity.  The bazaar offers the potential of many smaller attacks that can in aggregate have an impact equal to several large attacks. Many hands make light work. Combined with system leverage, this could reduce a nation to economic chaos in short order.

Rapid innovation. The bazaar's demonstrated ability to provide rapid innovatation makes defense much extremely difficult. Rather than a single 9/11 style attack, we may see small attacks (less planning and training, fewer people, less support) against a plethora of targets. With a sufficient number of guerrilla networks unearthing vulnerabilities (particularly ones with system's leverage), other forces will likely be outmatched.

These are the tools of the next wave of military and programming thinking. We can adapt, take these tools and put them to use. But it will require the Open Source Chaos bazaar to work.  There will need to be more sticking together than apart.

We can work together as small co-operating groups, without turning into some organized official mess. Swapping ideas, running tests, making up mndfucks on the fly and applying them to different situations. Acting in concert and cooperation in order to do what we want more effectively.  That is the aim. Or otherwise why do mindfucks at all, other than for your own amusement?  You might as well go back to your TV sets and tabloid magazines.
#1269
Or Kill Me / STFU with your hippie shit
September 21, 2006, 06:43:55 PM
The very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative.
- The Principia Discordia

Eris was there with Kydoimos (Confusion) among them, and Ker (Death) the destructive; she was holding a live man with a new wound, and another one unhurt, and dragged a dead man by the feet through the carnage."
- Homer, Iliad 18.535

"I have a high art, I hurt with cruelty those who would damage me."
,Äî Archirocus, 650 BC


I'm absolutely sick of this uninformed, bury your head in the sand, cute fluffy animals and sweetness view of Eris.  Yeah, you read right.  I've read all the crap I can take from 17 year old Myspacers who think calling themselves ,ÄúxXxErisxXx,Äù and acting in a poor imitation of ,Äúwacky,Äù means they are somehow like our Lady of Discord.  Most people here have little on Eris, but you types ain't even in the same ballpark.

Eris is more than the goddess of Confusion.  I know not many Discordians are Greek scholars, but even the name of Our Lady herself means ,ÄúStrife,Äù in the ancient Greek!  Strife, Chaos and Disorder, mother of the terrible Kakodaimones, the leveler of cities, the equal of Athena in warfare.  Why do wars keep on happening if no-one wants them?  "[Eris] is hateful ... [she is the one] who builds up evil, war, and slaughter (Hesiod).

,ÄúOh, but thats too mean and nasty to believe!  Eris is a cute Greek lady and chaos is laughing children dancing in the happy anarchy,Äù  You better slap that hippie shit out of you before I do it myself!  You can embrace the ,Äúpositive,Äù aspects of Disorder all you want, but you cannot forget there is a pretty nasty flipside.  And even that has a purpose.

Who feared Eris most?  For whom does Disorder mean all is lost?  Authority, authority, authority.  The men and women of The Con crave order, and only use chaos when it is the means to the greater end of more order.  They hate messy, unplanned and uncontrollable disorder, because it screws up their careful conspiracies.  Eris most certainly bought war and death in her wake, but it never said anywhere against whom she would bring destruction on, or that it wouldn't stop even greater death and violence.

"[Aion, god of time addresses Zeus:] 'Lord Zeus! behold yourself the sorrows of a despairing world!
Do you not see that Enyo [another name for Eris] has made the whole earth mad, mowing season by
season her harvest of quick-perishing youth?" - Nonnus, Dionysiaca 7.7

You read that?  They feared Her.  The immortal Olympians themselves lived in dread of this uncontrollable goddess, who sowed lawlessness in her every step.  Who fed the infernal beast Typhon and unleashed him against the King of the Gods?  Eris.  Who put Zeus in the embarrassing position of having to choose between his daughter and wife in a competition of beauty?  Eris.  Who gifted the Queen of the Amazons, the allies of Troy, with a dread weapon from the armoury of Ares, in order to defeat the Greeks?  Got it in one.  At every stage she took an active hand in undermining the plans of gods and mortals, whether in person, via trickery, or by steps removed.

You may call me a personification of Destructive Disorder.  You may even think of me as a hypocritical trickster, trying to lead the faithful to a terrible doom.  You can certainly think of me as an agent of Strife, because thats about the only thing that is true of the above.  The worst people in history are those who chase ,Äúpeace,Äù, especially when they equate it with order and are willing to do whatever they can to get it.  Hitler wanted peace.  So does George W Bush.  Almost everyone wants peace.  The question is always on what terms.  Disorder doesn't recognize ,Äúterms,Äùand it sure as hell doesn't recognize a wasteland called ,Äúpeace,Äù.
#1270
Or Kill Me / The Con
September 20, 2006, 12:32:01 AM
"Man would yield his sovereignty to an immense power; one that does not destroy, or even
tyrannize, but one that serves to stupefy a people, reducing them to nothing better than a flock of
timid and industrious sheep."
- Alexis de Tocqueville, from Democracy in America

"The real rulers in Washington are invisible and exercise their power from behind the scenes."
- Justice Felix Frankfurter, U.S. Supreme Court

"We cannot trust . . . people who are nonconformists."
- Ray Kroc, former CEO of MacDonald's


Tell yourself everything is OK.  Its a lie, but believe it anyway.  Never mind the spectre of never ending wars, economic collapse, genocide, hurricanes, race riots, insurgency, rogue WMDs, drought, floods, famine, overpopulation, Peak Oil and all that.  Not that avoiding thinking about it will help you, but whatever it is , it'll be a sure improvement over business as usual, where They beat your dreams out of you and replace it with Their dross, all downloaded from their mega-broadband satellite dishes directly into your living room.

You find your taxes are on the rise, that nothing works, goods are so shoddily made they fall apart in their packaging, pre-made fads are actually over by the time the weekend is finished.  The streets are filled with sub-human thugs and vandals, you get headaches from the bugging devices hidden in your rubbish bins, the air feels like a smog blanket and yet YOU STILL PUT UP WITH IT!

Or perhaps you're richer and luckier than the most of us, and living a life of luxury thats killing you at a slower and nicer way than the poor slobs above.  You've got your Ultimate Plasma screen, your BMW and a line of coke, but you've got an indescribable ache and are paid to say things you hate all day long.  But you can't see a way out, or a person to punish, so you go on until your half-life kills you.

Or maybe you don't.  Perhaps you look around and wonder ,Äúis it just me who thinks this is insane?  Is everyone really this stupid, shallow and ignorant, or have I just become so horribly twisted that I can no longer understand my fellow human beings?,Äù  If only.  If it was just you, then They could kill you and move on.  But its not.  Everything is getting worse...for this is the Age of The Conspiracy.

Things just didn't get this way, anyone could see that.  Even normal Pinks couldn't screw up this extraordinarily.  It has to be the result of a conspiracy.  But the question is WHICH conspiracy?  Is is the killers of JFK?  Or what about Majestic 12?  Or is it the International Bankers of a certain ethnicity? Or the Freemasons?  The Illuminati?  How about the Vatican?  Or shape shifting reptilian aliens who dominate the world?

The problem with such a short sighted view is that it sucks you right in.  All these and other conspiracies are so interlocked that invariably you get drawn into others and spend your whole life running after it, noting it and learning its subtleties.  And there are so many you are bound to find one that suits your own biases perfectly.

But none of these minor conspiracies are anything like The Conspiracy.  They can't be.  They don't permeate everything we do, are part of the food we eat and the air we breath.  Many of them are real enough, thats true, but even they are unaware of the ,Äúgreater plan,Äù which they all unknowing serve.

Because the Conspiracy isn't one of those fiendishly complex and intricate ones.  In all truth, it doesn't even know that its a Conspiracy.  Its so vast and broad that it underlies the lesser conspiracies and most of the human experience.  Quite the opposite of devious, it exists merely by exploiting the Pink and merehume fear of the new, a yearning for cuteness and hatred of the real, a lack of imagination and desire to be ordered around like a robot.  This butt-kissing Code of Normality (or ,ÄúCoN,Äù ) is the most insidious and dangerous threat.  The CoN is bigger than nations and wars, gods or demons, Republicans or Democrats, the President and interlocking corporate ownership.  Its everything from the mealy mouthed clerk at a store to genocide to why Britney Spears singles actually sell.

The fear of the unknown is what allows the Con to get away with murder on a truly massive scale.  It permeates the basics of society, that there is The Other, and they are Different.  Sure, people like some new things, so long as it doesn't act like its new.  Kind of like how that new girl group are so different to last week's one.

But of course, a Pink won't fear the Con.  Why should they?  If there was a huge conspiracy, it wouldn't be after them, would it?  After all, they aren't important.  They pay their taxes on time and behave in RightGood ways.  They don't go out of the way to cause trouble or be weird.  In fact, the only reason they're safe, because they've been had all along!  They don't even realize how badly and totally they've been controlled.

The seedy underbelly of Pink existence is the worst kind of hell imaginable.  A culture of yes-men and arrogant assholes, idiots who believe in the myths of Positive Thinking and Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, who become so horribly disillusioned and screwed over daily that they fall into the trap of the Con and say ,Äústuff everyone else,Äù and grab what they can for themselves.

The Con has nothing against you personally.  It doesn't want you dead, it just doesn't want you to be happy.

That Pinks would rather fight their neighbours than the Con has been its secret to success over the long years.  Humans prefer everything to be familiar, especially enemies.  By the time two tribes had figured out their common enemy was the invader and not each other, they were already under the jackboot and its too late.  Whats worse, once this enemy leaves they are back to their genocidal ways.  This repeats itself from Bosnia and Serbia to standard office politics.  In fact, it is one of the only patterns that seems to repeat itself in every human system: screw the neighbours.

And thanks to this fact, we can look forward to a bleak future of planetary civil war, in which the ,ÄúFascism-lite,Äù of the industrial ,ÄúWest,Äù and its allies will be locked in perpetual conflict with the more traditional fascism of the Third World...where the landmasses of Europe, North America, Australia and Russia will be protecting their fat assed empires against the lean and angry hordes of the rest of the world...forever.

From the dawn of time we haven't changed our nature and have certainly never taken the smart choices.  With all the intelligence at our disposal, we have changed progress into meaning bigger and shinier weapons for us to play out our territorial pissing games with.

Listen to me:  Your elected officials think your are sheep.  Blind, panicked idiots who will swallow whatever they are told and don't have an attention span beyond the last commercial break.  I know, I've worked for them.  They think you are gullible and stupid and they look down on you as simple idiots.  And to be honest, they have a good point.  Anyone who believes what they see on the TV will certainly believe everything contained in the Warren Report.  Any sane, thinking person wouldn't let themselves or their children be used in exercises in international banking or weapons system demos for third world dictators who need an edge.

They've even got you fretting over terrorism and WMDs, while research goes into ,Äúnon-lethal,Äù weaponry that can fry your brain while leaving buildings standing, brainwashing devices, satellite based orbital attack systems and spying devices so complex than can accurately project your bowel movements.

And there is no escape.  The Con has successfully hooked everything on the most base and worst aspects of the US mindless consumerist machine.  The trash pop culture is the single most popular meme of our times, snotty attitudes, inane catchphrases and pointless convenience have replaced anything of value.

You even spend the majority of your life working for Them.  Hours turn into days, weeks into years.  The Con keeps you on the tightest leash possible, graciously giving you two days there, a week here. Even those are becoming shorter and less common as the corporate elite try to get the maximum squeeze from their workforces.  But its not easy, taking the wild monkey brain and forcing it to act this way without a fight.  You have to take a mind from an early age and train it to sit in unnatural positions for hours, respond to abstract things like bells, learn to butt kiss and look to authority for answers.  Equality in servitude, every man and woman a serf and every child a servant in training.

They even go so far as to make the fun outlets for this crap filled existence illegal.  Most fun forms of sex are crimes and don't get me started on drugs.  In most parts of the ,ÄúEnlightened,Äù world, having these is somewhat equivalent to being a leper or a heretic in the Middle Ages.  All someone has to do is yell ,ÄúDRUGS,Äù and your house can be repossessed, your  kids taken away, your door broken down and your assets investigated.  And don't even think of suing them if they don't find anything.  The so-called ,ÄúWar on Drugs,Äù, just like the ,ÄúWar on Some Forms of Terror (and not others),Äù and the ,ÄúWar on Crime,Äù are just covers to collect masses of information on the population through intensive domestic spying, as well as serving out the occasional friendly reminder of who is in charge here ie; not you.

But this is just too MEAN and NASTY to be true, right?  Freedom is on the march!  Colour coded revolutions are blooming everywhere, and those people in Iraq can vote now!  Ha ha, suckers.  Have you seen where voting has got us?  Choose between vampire 1, 2 or three (if you're lucky).  A couple of jackasses to throw insults at while unseen others make the real choices.  Nobody up there gives a flying piece of baby shit what you think and most don't even pretend to.  You're only freedom is consume as much as possible before dying, because thats your only worth to Them.

The only difference between the so-called liberals and so-called conservatives, no matter where you are, is what interest group has the controlling stock in the party and what rights they want to take away.  So-called Conservatives who fulminate against ,ÄúBig Government,Äù (Unless its spying on you or regulating your behaviour in the bedroom) are no better than pansy knee-jerk Liberals, who hand wring over every action and get caught up on non-issues like the plight of the Lesser Spotted Snail.

And don't even get me started on the ,Äúnon-conformist,Äù libertarians, anarchists and other assorted fools who think they are being ,Äúhip and trendy,Äù by defying the system.  YOU LOT ARE THE BIGGEST JOKES AROUND!  Bitching in your ever so trendy coffee shops like the intellectual failures you are, because you're too tragically hip to fall in with the ,Äúmainstream,Äù.  Guess what sucker?  YOU JUST SWAPPED ONE MASTER FOR ANOTHER!  The only difference between the establishment and counter-establishment is the name, no matter if they call themselves Libertarians, Anarchists, Discordians or Subgeniuses.  Who do you think promotes these pre-made subcultures?  Yup.

Its the rise of the Mediocretins.  This society, our countries, the WHOLE DAMN PLANET is swaying drunk with the stench of Pinks on its breath.  Nothing is different.  You can go to the most deserted places in South America or Darkest Africa and you'll see kids drinking bottles of Coca-Cola and throwing them away because thats what we do.  Nothing is different and everything is the same.  Safe.  Normal.  Dull.  Dead.  Identical suburbs, mini-malls, shops, hardware stores, ITS ALL THE SAME AND THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

In fact, something so terrifyingly fun like Armageddon would be a welcome change from all this shit!  Thats why Messianic religion's are selling like hotcakes, anything to escape this awful deadness.  But the End of the World hasn't happened yet, so who cares?  So long as the TV and the internet are still working, the left can congratulate themselves on being smarter than the right, the right can pat themselves on the back for fooling the left, and the two can concentrate on grinding everyone inbetween into meat for the Conspiracy engines.
#1271
Or Kill Me / The new Threat
August 31, 2006, 01:07:46 PM
The New Threat

,ÄúAre we Discordians, or are we goddamn old ladies?,Äù- Deacon Avery, PFLD, after someone voiced concerns about the fallout of doing horrendous thing to the Baptists at a local festival.

Go contemplate your navel, you old fraud.
- Hagbard Celine, to the Dealy Lama

Right, I'm only gonna spew this once, so listen up!  I'm going to shatter another piece of Discordian Dogma, since I may as well go the whole hog with being a pain the ass to all Authority.  Firstly, Chaos may be the ,Äúnatural state,Äù of everything, but every time I look around there seems to be a suspicious amount of order.  Too much, in fact.

And yeah, I know the Aneristic Delusion, so you need not worry about me falling into that trap.  But the Aneristic Delusion holds that things are acting in ways that are contrary to the supposed order.  And this is all well and good, but we overlooked a vital point, something which is going to cost us badly, unless we catch on fast!

The Con is controlling the environment so that you can only act in a predictable range.  I'll let the implications of that sink in.  You know its true, they don't only pass laws but they are now making it impossible to break them through how they are enacted.  For example, they make it impossible to park over several places like a jerk by putting barriers in.  OK bad example, but very true.  They also are trying to make it impossible for the Chinese to view dissident sites by making them unaccessible (or shutting down porn sites through threat of legal action and fear of courts, for our American Faithful).  Add in the years of bizarre school training, teaching you how to butt kiss authority and never think for yourself, and you start to get the picture.  They've even started to use Chaos Theory for such Aneristic ends as controlling crowds and other nefarious, freedom opposed ends.

,ÄúYeah, thats great and all, but whats your point exactly,Äù you are probably asking.  My point, is that sitting on your ever widening fat ass and doing nothing will achieve exactly squat! You can go on about wu-wei, karma, the ,ÄúHistorical inevitability,Äù of your victory, hope for the X-ists to save you and it will achieve just as much as all the other do-gooders who try to visualize or meditate for world peace.  But those are lies, lies of the weak and hopeless, who would have you believe that anything else was impossible and that taking an active stand is futile.  These people are actively supporting the Con's greatest attempt yet to crush all resistance against them, and should be treated as the treacherous enemies they aid. 

Unless we willingly become the random factor in every equation, unless those of us who see whats happening act NOW, TODAY, then all could be lost.  Using lame philosophical justifications to stay out of trouble will give the Con time to play its final gambit, the actual erasion of everything bar ,Äúacts of Eris,Äù that could mess it all up.  And it has to be now, this exact second.  Unless you can make the commitment today, you will put it off forever.

A Discordian must necessarily be an activist in such an age...because one who isn't is just mouthing the words and memorizing the slogans while really working for the other side.  And being Discordant is more than just saying ,ÄúFnord!,Äù and spewing surrealist nonsense.  So-called Discordians who go on about their pineal gland and the mystical implications of the number five are stagnant, they haven't changed and are just exchanging one dogma for another.  In fact, they are following a dogma, the Discordianism of Thornley and Hill, someone other than themself.  Sure, it was original back in the day, but its got as tired as the ,Äúlone gunman,Äù patsy was in the 70s.

Even that old tyrant, Jehovah, didn't actually try to remove someone's will concerning what that sod saw as ,Äúgood,Äù and ,Äúevil,Äù. Now thats got to worry you.  The Con are going to lengths that even the insane, genocidal, jealous god of the Old Testament refused to do.  The removal of the ability to do evil, or what the Con considers evil at least (which are two quite different things in my book) is nothing less than the removal of the basis of freedom itself.

Freedom isn't about freedom ,Äúfrom,Äù, its always been freedom ,Äúto,Äù.  Freedom to go where one wants, be what one wants, act as one wants.  Freedom ,Äúfrom,Äù has always been the excuse of the worse tyrants, freedom ,Äúfrom,Äù evil Commie terrorists (Hitler), evil capitalist oppressors (Stalin), evil atheist oppressors (Pat Robertson).  That sort of ,Äúfreedom,Äù is contingent on the definition of the higher powers, and so only a privilege, not really freedom at all.  But it has the illusion and feel of it, which is what makes it so damn dangerous and insidious. 

And thats why it must be confronted, why new levels of unpredictability undreamed of by the Con's smartest Chaos theorists, its most hip gurus on alternative culture's, its most inquisitive double agents, must be found and used.  Once we become stale and definable, we have lost, we're known within a range, we're tagged and dead.
#1272
Or Kill Me / This is OUR century, assholes.
August 31, 2006, 12:56:13 PM
(Also called ,ÄúYour religions are as boring as fuck,Äù)

"We do not apologize for a damned thing."
-Ralph "Sonny" Barger, from Ridin,Äô High, Livin,Äô Free (p. 184)

"I suppose that in any well-ordered society people like us would be locked up or shot. But then you would have to get people like us to do the locking up and the shooting."-Jim Morris, from War Story (p. 158)

"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
-Arthur Schopenhauer

Yeah, thats right.¬† This century belongs to us, the asshats, the Discordians, the Subgenii, the ,Äúcrazies,Äù, those non-authoritarian and radical movements opposed to the fundamentalist wave of churches, be they the ,Äúold religions,Äù, New Age or otherwise.¬† The time of your faith is dead, we bought the lease to the planet and now we're willing to chuck the tenants out, before they cause any more damage.¬† And not a moment too soon.

Look around you, o little Cabbage.  Look how much your churches and faiths spend each year on recruiting.  Look how far they go in their brainwashing tactics, promotion of mass hysteria and control over political bodies.  Even killing people for not belonging to the right sect of your nearly identical religions!  You're hanging on, but only though great use of resources.

Then look at us.  We're all free men and women on this voyage.  No-one forced us to join, there are no atrocities to our names, we don't ram our religion down your throats through TV, marketing, or the state.  We could, if we really wanted to, but we don't.  We don't take to the streets, we don't ram the airwaves full of our crap and we don't try to buy politicians to bend the law to our own views.  And yet we continue to grow.  Maybe only a few hundred each year, or a few thousand, but there are already so many of us its impossible to keep count.  Like the process of water on a rock, we will wear you down.

Its even expanding to politics.  How many are catching on that the Right, Left and Centre parties are all backed by the same interests, that their only difference is which rights they want to strip from us?  And so we continue to grow, the political non-Elucidians, the religiously anti-authoritarian.

The thing is, you will hand it all over to us.  We want it all and we are willing to take it.  But not just yet.  We'll shock and cause outrage among you, getting onto your networks as something to be vilified, which works out nicely for us, as most smart people have realized by now if your lot don't like it, then it may just be worth looking at.  You'll do all the real work and hand it over to us on a silver platter.  It will only take minimum effort on our part, really.

Your time is over.¬† People aren't interested in an ,Äúall loving,Äù asshole of a deity who does nothing for them and makes their life hell for the smallest of irrational transgressions.¬† Instead, they want to know who messed this place up so much, and who to blame.¬† They want to strike back.¬† Some even want the Truth, something in very short supply thanks to your dogma. Most of all, they want to laugh and to have a religion that doesn't need severity and hellishly boring rituals, because those things are not only unnecessary but useless too.¬† How many spent their whole life in such austere living, only to die of some terrible disease? To not have their prayer's answered?¬† Thats not to say Discordians don't get sick or get their prayer's answered, but they don't promise that either.

This is our time and our century.  You only live in it because we let you live in it.  It might just be worth remembering that, once we move from the ridicule to violent opposition, once you realize we really mean what we say.  Because we are the wave of the future, and it would be terrible to have to start using your own tactics on you.

You want an image of the future?  Imagine this.  A foot, stamping on a cabbage's head, forever.  You better believe it, pal.


A Statement from the Project for a Discordian Century (a PFLD sponsored think tank)
#1273
European Epistle #4 Secret Prisons and Vassal States

"They would take you to a secret sub-basement of a military or government building, where they would methodically savage your body and brain with the latest ,Äòadvances,Äô in torture methods, designed to inflict the maximum pain a human can tolerate without losing consciousness or dying, until you named all the other ,Äòleftists,Äô you knew. You would then be ,Äòdisappeared,Äô from the face of the earth, and these men would pay a visit to everyone you had named.",Äî Michael Levine, on the estimated 25,000 desaparecidos of Argentina, from The Big White Lie
(p. 29)

"Protective Custody is an act of care.",Äî the despicable Heinrich Himmler, attempting to veil the true nature of the Concentration Camps through propaganda

"Comrades, we are not uncovering conspiracies, we are fabricating them. We are persecuting and killing people on the basis of unfounded and slanderous charges.",Äî Drovyanikov of the Leningrad NKVD (who was shortly thereafter executed for "treason"as a result of this statement)

In all of the sickening things I have heard of in the pantomime we like to call the War on Terror (Or more accurately, the War on Some Sorts of Terror and Not Others), possibly the worst is the ,Äúsecret prisons,Äù that the CIA use as part of its extraordinary rendition program, the black sites where people are kidnapped and quite likely tortured without any charges brought against them, or trials or evidence.

Of course, right now, its not certain if the sites exist, but we'd have to be na?Øve to believe otherwise, especially after Guantanamo and in Iraq.  Its well known that the CIA, as well as several other services, such as French Intelligence, are allowed and do take prisoners to countries where torture is perfectly legal and take down what the person admits to after a few days or weeks of ,Äúspecialist treatment.,Äù  Taking notes for fucking torturers!  And our own governments are complicate in these actions!  In the UK, over 2005 there were more than 400 CIA rendition flights.  It is highly likely that we knew what they were doing and refused to stop them.  We knew they were taking people to be tortured and kept in secret prisons, people who had not been charged or found guilty.  We aided them by standing aside and doing nothing, even though we knew what was going to happen.  Spain and Germany have done the same too, and the European Council believes the main black site for these kidnapped people (for thats what they are) is either in Poland or Romania.

Welcome to the new Europe, same as the old one!  

What the hell makes us any better than the barbarians of the KGB, or the murderous thugs of the SS who did the same thing?  Oh sure, right now its only ,Äúsuspected terrorists,Äù (or at least, thats what we are told) but how long until they are used on other ,Äúdissidents?,Äù  People said the same thing in Germany when Hitler set up the camps in 1934, that they were only for Communists and Anarchists and other dangerous types.  How wrong they were, when they found SPD members, or kids who said Hitler was a psychotic madman, were thrown in alongside these oh so dangerous individuals!  

Why don't we just build a few dozen huge ovens and get it over with, huh?  I mean, this is where this is going to end, anyway.  I'm sure we can find some obscene message to scrawl over the prison gates while we're at it too, maybe ,Äúyour side lost, hippy!,Äù, or ,ÄúQuit your fucking whining.,Äù Its what will eventually happen, if something isn't done soon.

Secret anything is an abomination in a democratic republic or constitutional parliamentary democracy.  If something is kept secret, it should only be to keep people safe, such as the intelligence services, where information can lead to loss of life.  Who are we protecting here?  What people, whose lives are at stake by disclosing the truth of these prisons?  No-ones, of course.  The secrecy has one use and one alone, for that of installing fear.  Toe the line, support your government, keep waiving your rights with your flags, lest we come and throw you into our secret jails.

That our own governments are complicate in these actions should tell you something important too.  Your government is unable to protect you, not against terrorists or anyone else who would seek to do you harm.  Our nations are slaves to the American intelligence services ,Äì no, not slaves, for slavery has a moral factor of force being used, they are servants, vassals who will sacrifice you to keep their Washington masters happy and on good terms.  So much for the social contact then.

Our own ,Äúleaders,Äù have forfeited their right to that name or their leadership through supporting this.  We never damn well learn, do we?  Not once the truth about Hitler was learnt, not when the Berlin Wall came down and not now.    We are humans, not animals and we do not deserve to be treated as such.  We should never stand by while others are beaten and deprived of their basic rights, no matter what they have been accused of.  Because, by my moral reckoning, most of our political leaders should have been tortured to death several times over.  But we don't do that.  We don't label threats without trial or charge.  We don't torture at all, or execute extrajudicially.  We are losing the moral high ground here, as well as something central to our whole conception of how the world should be.  And once these rights are no longer seen as central, how long until yours are violated?  How long until we march under another future swastika, or hammer and sickle?
#1274
European Epistle #3 U.S. - French Relations

"Men would rather be starving and free than fed in bonds."
,Äî Pearl Buck, from What America Means to Me

"A rebel is simply someone who says "no.""
,Äî unknown

The state of affairs among the USA and France has only become noticeable recently, for reasons I cannot understand.  Oh I know how it happened, with the whole Iraq war bullshit that went down, it suddenly became clear that France and the USA were no longer reading from the same script, even in public.  But what I don't get is how much a surprise this was, or how France became vilified for acting like a sovereign state, capable of making its own decisions about what to do.  Maybe it was more of a shock to the Americans, who seemed blissfully unaware of how much they were hated around the world until September 11, I don't know.

Of course, anyone who has paid close attention to French history knows that ever since the Revolutionary War in America ended the ,Äúspecial relationship,Äù has gone downhill and never recovered.  Thats because France has committed the cardinal sin of every age on this planet, something bound to bring wrath down from anyone in power, no matter if they are Genghis Khan or Lloyd George.  That is, the sin of independence.

Quite frankly, France is a separate country and likes to think it still remains one.  This wouldn't be so much of a problem, except that the USA likes to the treat the whole of Western Europe as a bunch of vassal states, with the UK acting as the USA's personal enforcer in the area.  When the USA says jump, our leaders are meant to ask ,ÄúHow high?,Äù  But in France's case, they have quite often replied ,Äúgo fuck yourself,Äù.  This isn't surprising, given its history.  I know its fashionable to bash on the French nowadays, but historically France was the major continental power.  It is the largest state in terms of landmass.  It had a large population, excellent land for farming of all sorts and the resources to allow it to become a modern state before nearly any other current power.  For a thousand years, the French dominated the continent, not only within its own land, but well over half of Italy at times, and through various colonies and trading posts in Africa and Asia.

They even helped the USA to free itself from British rule, something a lot of jingoistic idiots over the Atlantic should remember before mouthing off.  They supplied weapons and fought themselves against the British on land at sea, inflicting rather impressive casualties. They then brought that expertise back home, where they managed to find their culmination in Napoleon's armies.  These were the shock troops of Europe, a terrifying force that used tactics never seen before, that broke the power of the arrogant Prussian aristocrats and humbled the Austrian Empire while they held the high ground advantage.

Of course, the last 100 years have not been kind to France.  Their losses in the First World War dealt a huge blow to their population, one it will probably take another hundred years to recover from.  That in turn set them up for a lot of misery, like with most of Europe once the dust had settled in 1945.  Like a bunch of cry babies, most of Europe immediately turned to Stalin or Truman for protection against themselves and the opposing camp (OK, maybe there was somewhat less of a choice involved in the Communist camp).  But France tried to retain more than a measure of independence, something which makes the American strategists irate.  They withdrew from US nuclear plans once they got their own arsenal, preferring to rely on their own weapons for their protection.  They also have a weird relationship with NATO, where they are members but the command relationship is different.

All of this, in and of itself, does not seem to bad a problem, even with the current nut cases in charge of US foreign policy.  But thats only half the story.  The French are also often competitors for US markets, particularly in the field of weaponry, construction and specialist machinery.  Its often been said all of history can be explained as a cash flow diagram and that is certainly the case here.  France was particularly pissed off by the way the US Congressional-Military-Industrial complex meant that American companies were undercutting them, because more money was coming in for research and development from the bloated sales, which the American people still seem content to pay for

Since the end of the Cold War, France has been enemy number one, for the reason it wont buckle down and act like a good little slave, servile and all.  But then again, why the hell should they?  Last time I checked, France has its own government and laws.  It chooses its own leaders and so the USA can get stuffed if they decided to listen to their employers, the French people, rather than some Tacitus fantasists over at the State Dept.  Sure, the French don't do themselves any favours by acting like arrogant conceited bastards whenever the chance arises.  But who would you rather be like?  The French, despised at times, but free, or ,Äúloved,Äù (ie; not hated yet) and in chains?
#1275
I know these assertions have been flying around the net recently and it has been fun to watch them evolve, mutate and be discussed.  However, all good things must come to the end, and I revel in my role in making people suffer.  So with great pleasure I inform you of the following:

1. Richard M. Nixon did NOT write the Principia Discordia in a brief moment of lucidity.  He never used the pen-name of Malaclypse.  Absolutely not.  There is no evidence for this conclusion whatsoever.  None at all.  And he didn't convert Chairman Mao and teach him the secrets of levitation, as popular rumour (and a carefully doctored photo, included for completeness*) would have us believe.

2. The Popular Front for the Liberation of Discordia are not involved in any hostile takeover bid of International Arms and Hashish Inc.  Furthermore, Episkopos Cain is not the new CEO, nor does he intend to be.  We believe these rumours have been spread by Mexican Communists working under orders originating out of Pyongyang and thus have no basis in fact.

3. There is no mysterious ,ÄúFifth International,Äù alliance consisting of many Discordian Cabals, the Church of the Subgenius, the Moorish Orthodox Church, the Coptic Orthodox People of the Herb, neo-pagans, the Egyptian Church of New Zealand, the Kaos Kabal of London, Libertarian Congregationalists, The Sacred Jihad of Our Lady of Chaos and other ,Äúfourth way,Äù sects. The rumour was put about by enemies of the World Congress of Free Religions, who were implicated as a front group for the Fifth International, presumably as part of a smear campaign.

4. The sad disappearance of Joesph Matheny after meeting with several Cabals in the Santa Cruz mountain region while searching for a lead on the ,Äútravel cult,Äù founded by the renegade SDI researcher Nick Herbert had nothing to do with us.  He did mention to a Legionnaire he met briefly to exchange information with that, while trying to find Emory Cranston, the conspiracy theorist associated with Herbert, he had seen inside his P.O. Box in Ong's Hat and only found ,Äúsolicitations from a church of geniuses in Dallas, Texas or some such nonsense.,Äù  That was the last contact we had with him.  All questions and inquiries should be directed to either Herbert or Cranston, should they be contactable.

5. When the ban was lifted in Greece on the worship of the Olympian deities, several ,Äúmonks,Äù dressed in green robes were present in Athens and did say a prayer in the Sanctuary of Ares, before the image of Enyo, before leaving.  But no-one knows who they were, or if their presence there had anything to do with the decision taken by the Greek government, or indeed the apparent horror at which the decision was greeted by the Greek Orthodox Church.

6. The New Soviet Red Army and its various associated financial, legal and intelligence branches were disbanded in the summer of 2005.  Any activities claimed to be by them are nothing more than rogue operatives, or other organizations using the name to cover their own deeds.  Any group using the name to recruit should be treated with the utmost suspicion.  It is suspected the fate of several of those who have joined such fake organizations is both violent and bloody.

7.  There was no Discordian involvement about the now infamous expos?© that lead to the dismissal of Maxwell Knight of Neurocam International, starting the long decline and internal chaos of the company.  While it is known that at least one Discordian has a copy of the incident saved to his hard disk, he has refused to show it to anyone and believes his keeping it secret is integral to his personal security.

8. The midget was most definitely on fire before The Good Reverend Roger arrived at the party.  I myself can testify to this.

*
#1276
"People on the whole are very simple-minded in whatever country one finds them. They are so simple as to take literally, more often than not, the things their leaders tell them."
- Pearl Buck, from What America Means to Me

"The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging onto power, whatever it took."
- Carl Hiaasen, from Sick Puppy


Who the hell are these deluded fools trying to convince ,Äì us or themselves?  You  know the ones I mean, the ones all over Europe who complain of the ,ÄúEuropean Super State,Äù emanating from Brussels that not only rules with an iron fist by its unelected officials and for half a century has manipulated us into joining and expanding its power, but at the same time is inefficient, caught in red tape and corrupt in the extreme.

I'm no friend of the Brussels shadow Government either, I'll admit.  Its too powerful in certain trade sectors, under reported on its decisions and too open to corruption.  But why is this any different to the governments in Berlin, London or Madrid?  Why aren't these parties so worried about the corrupt nature of the European parliament also pushing investigation into the Cosa Nostra land deals in south France, the CAP corruption in Italy and the ever present menace of rogue Masonic groups such as P2 and Le Grande Orient who use their secrecy as a cloak to defend organized criminals of all sorts?

Easy: because they are either closet racists or rabble rousing populists.  But we already knew that.  The point of this little piece of writing is to say no matter where power is, people who do not represent your interests will be charge.  Why would it suddenly change if the man in charge is English instead of Italian or Portuguese?  

All politicians are cut from the same cloth, no matter if they are French, British or German.  They went to the right schools, attended the right Universities (Oxford, Cambridge, Sorbonne etc), joined the right social clubs and made the necessary social connections.  All of them have the same ideals too ,Äì to loot the national treasury as much as they can for their political backers and then skim some off the top for themselves.  If anyone believes that is a racial trait then they are racist morons of the most stupid sort.

This should be obvious now.  We have some of the best education in the world, plus our parents and grandparents are people who witnessed first hand the evil of governments in the name of the far right and the far left and even the centrists.  We shouldn't trust any government, no matter who won the popular vote.  Hell, if we want some figures to back up this assertion, since the end of World War Two, the UK Government in London has been directly responsible for over 10 million deaths worldwide.  What makes them better than the animals we fought 60 years ago?  The scale, that we did it slower?

So far the European Union has very little blood on its hands, when compared to the individual members who make up its parts, even over the same period of history.  But that makes no difference.  If tomorrow we lived in a Federal European State, nothing would change except the uniforms worn as the crimes are committed.  And as this hasn't happened yet, I would say its safer to concentrate on the national level governments and let the EU hang for a while.  Brussels can wait.  We should be asking these questions not only of the Brussels gravy train but of those much closer at home, often the same ones decrying the current state of affairs while using it to line their pockets.
#1277
Epistle to the Europeans

What the hell is wrong with you?  What the hell is wrong with us, I should say, for even if I have disowned my country for their treasonous behaviour I cannot so easily write off the continent for which I have a lot of love.  Where did it all go wrong?

We have discord bred in our bones.  Even by the general standards of humanity, we have to consider that, historically speaking, we have been the most faithful of Eris (if we knew it or not), either directly or through the influence of our ideas.  Other nations can boast and recall their civil wars ,Äì for one thousand five hundred years we had our own, only uniting in the most dire of circumstances and dividing again as soon as it had passed.  Often proving, in the process, the historical maxim that great wars to save a people are often followed by ones that nearly destroy them (usually in the next week in our case).  We can even see the legacy of this today, where in parts of the continent you can cross several borders on foot in a day.

We not only knew Discord like an old relative, we positively embraced it and set the standards for the rest of the world.  Africa?  Yup, we caused that, all of it.  We set the state boundaries after all, ensuring at least another two centuries of tribal based strife before the borders are re-asserted along more ethnic lines.  Indochina?  The French colonized all of it, bringing in the possibly most nationalistic and anti-imperialistic people of the world into their little empire.  Hell, countries as large as Poland have ceased to exist for hundred of years, only to pop back into being like nothing ever happened!  The state boundaries changed weekly and if you lived in a border town you could never move in your life and have citizenship in several different nations.  We even produced the English aristocracy, men who held you had to be icily polite to an enemy but could snub your friends any time you felt like it and would fight in the desert or the rainforest or mountains in bright red and white costumes because do otherwise would be ,Äúunsporting,Äù.

Where did it all go wrong?

Partly Hitler of course.  If, according to Nietzsche, Napoleon's saving grace was that he made nationalism possible, then Hitler's was that he made war nearly impossible.  But that Aneristic bastard of the highest order destroyed the fun for the rest of us.  After he finally bought it, his would be assassins and their covert friends in the governments of Europe and America set up the institutions that would eventually bring about the EU, that bastard child of Kant's dreams in Perpetual Peace and the end of Eristic fun.  Whats the problem with that? I hear you ask.  Everything.  Since then its been tired looking hippies, two week package holidays to the Costa del Sol and David Hasselhoff records.  We emphasized order over the creativity which had put us ahead of the world.  Machiavelli's Prince could not have existed if it were not for men like Cesare Borgia, if his native Florence had not revolted and he had been removed from his office by the revolutionary government.  Hugo Grotius could not have made the basis for international law possible unless he had witnessed the horror of the Thirty Years War.  Par?® could not have hoped to figure out his medical advances without the dire need for them of the battlefields of the French military.  And so on.

Now we have to all pretend to like each other, even when we know the French would love nothing more than to parachute the Foreign Legion over England because of the Olympic Games bid and London would love to reciprocate.  Even by making Cyprus and Turkey get along.  Are we going to suck the fun out of everything by trying to ignore and remove our own little irrational hatreds of each other?  What the hell is wrong with us?

Even the Cold War was somewhat better.  If things got boring we could always look to the massing tank forces preparing to flood through the Fulda Gap and take Bonn by force.  Berlin was a bloody war zone where spies died in their droves and in Amsterdam the bodies of retired diamond dealers, drug runners and pimps working in the Great Game could be seen floating down river.  Even when the Soviet tanks backed off to rescue or kill Yeltsin, we had the entertaining side show of Yugoslavia.  Now we want to let Serbia of all places join our little European ,ÄúPeace and Flowers and No Haters,Äù Union.

Worse than that, we now kowtow to the Americans at every other chance we get, except the French who, admirably, have to be themselves.  And not just over wars and their not so secret gulag system hidden in Romania.  We import their culture and their way of thinking and not even the good parts of that.  For the Brits among you, remember what Channel 4 was like before the advent of reality TV?  Yeah, exactly.  Take away the castles and give everyone English lessons and you could travel from Seattle to London to Warsaw and, apart from France, barely notice the difference.  We gave them the Enlightenment and the best we had to offer (Benjamin Franklin, for example) and in return we got American Gladiators and McDonalds.  And we agreed to it!  Something went horribly wrong, somewhere...

Are we Europeans?  Then we better start bloody well acting like them!  I know we gave up on all that business, but without our anarchy to keep everyone on their toes, it will all go to hell (even the Americans think they can run the world, we've been out of the game so long.  I mean, the Chinese could probably do better, at least they wouldn't expect everyone to like them for it).  Are we the products of 1000 years of the most lethal lab Eris could devise or are we a bunch of whimpering peaceniks, afraid of our own shadows?  And will we remember before its too late to change anything?
#1278
Or Kill Me / Epistle to the Nay-sayers
May 30, 2006, 03:42:58 PM
Note: I originally wrote this in response/agreement to TGRR's Sermon 36, but I felt a reply of this size should probably get its own thread, as well as explain my position on the matter.

Well, you already know my thoughts on this. I'm a goddamn Episkopos, which means I don't have to anything that Mal-2 or Lord Omar or Ho Chi Zen or Mordecai Malingnatus think I should. I find it interesting that throwing out different ideas and ways of thinking have been recieved so harshly in certain areas of the Discordian Movement. I thought one of the main things about chaos was change? If that doesn't make me "Discordian" enough, then fuck it. I'll call myself a Nihilist with a twisted sense of humour, if it makes you people feel better. I'd hate for people so insecure in their beliefs to be dissauded by me.

Like Roger said, its Springtime in Munich, take two. I feel the ground shifting under my feet on a daily basis. The fascists are getting their third run at things (Cold War, remember?) and third time may well be the charm. The morons are coming out of the woodwork....I actually spoke to someone with a decent University education the other day advocating forced sterilization for the population at large, with permits from the Government needed for reproduction. He's a lunatic fringe compared to most of them, but even he got a half decent reception. The usual idiots of "more government, stronger government, harsher government" are the driving force. Our leaders don't believe in democracy. The spirit of 1789 is dying and will soon be dead.

My girlfriend came on side because of reasons like this. She is half French and she has told me about her grandparents stories of World War Two. You want to know why France fell so quickly? Because they couldn't recognize a common enemy, that they considered the others a greater threat to France than the looming army on the horizon. They were more willing, when it came to their differences, to fight each other than simply agree to disagree and then try to solve the problem anyway. I'm not saying there should be consensus, in fact I am personally against that. I'm just for recognizing the obvious threat, which isn't other Discordians.

You wanna know why not many people get us? This is part of it. Violette was interested in the way I explained it, she understands it. But she looked here, at PD.com and EB&G and changed her mind. She's convinced Discordians cannot see their enemies for what they are and I have to say I don't totally disagree with that sentiment. They may not have named us, but we come under the majority of the "shoot them and dump the bodies in the woods" catergory, should the bad case scernario happen.  You don't even wanna know what happens under the worst case.

Again, no-one is forcing this on anyone else. If you don't wanna join in, fine. Great. Go do something else, whatever it is you want to do. Stop trying to lay your trip on us while claiming we are doing what is actually being done to us. All I have done is try to refine it and improve some of our current thinking in regards to Operation MindFuck. But, apparently, effectiveness, or indeed action of any sort, even the idea of it, is some kind of mortal sin. Sure, I've read the books. I know the more you try to change something the more you fall into the trap you want to destroy. You think I'm really that dumb? I know about the Greyface on the inside as well as the outside...the voice of caution, of order, of hierarchy. Just because I don't talk about it endlessly doesn't mean I havent acknowledged it. I don't talk about paleontology much either, but I can assure you I know enough on that topic to fill a small scientific journal.

A free man is the ultimate weapon. That philosopher of violent power, Machiavelli, knew as much. A Prince is never safe if a man is willing to throw away his life, if he is free. Non serviam. So lets start letting people know they are free. Because otherwise they are going to get dragged down by the majority and they wont be able to concieve of freedom, because it will be carefully partioned and kept away, to be bought out when its needed and banished when it isn't. Thats all I have to say for now, really. I could continue, but this is already at rant length and my message will lose focus.
#1279
Literate Chaotic / ITT we try to decode...
May 24, 2006, 06:15:37 PM
The meaning of this famous saying:

TO DAGOBERT II. KING, AND TO SION BELONGS THIS TREASURE AND HE IS THERE DEAD..SHEPHERDESS, NO TEMPTATION, THAT POUSSIN, TENIERS, HOLD THE KEY, PEACE 681. BY THE CROSS AND THIS HORSE OF GOD I COMPLETE-OR DESTROY-THIS DAEMON GUARDIAN AT NOON. BLUE APPLES.

GO!


(yes, I'm looking at YOU, S.S.O.O.K.N people).
#1280
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic
- John F Kennedy

It is the responsibility of intellectuals to speak the truth and expose lies.
-Noam Chomsky

Political philosophy is one of the most frustrating yet useful undertakings any person partake in.  Consider this: We are often led to believe that the great matters are set to rest, that the systems that have grown up through the historical processes are set in stone and it is merely a matter of picking and choosing between these, according to which ones we find most morally appealing or personally profitable.

Suckers.  As someone who has made it a hobby to learn about con tricks and how to manipulate others, I can tell you right away a massive con is being played here.  Its an old one, called ,Äúcontrolling the options,Äù.  Kissinger was a past master at it, using it to control Nixon's foreign policy to no small degree.  So long as you limit the choices, you have a degree of damage control, as it were, so long as all the choices you present have some commonalities between them.

,ÄúWhat is the common thread of all political philosophy,Äù I hear you ask.  I'll tell you, its very simple and astonishingly basic, given its development over 2400 years: the City must be defended from subversion.  In this context, ,Äúthe city,Äù refers to the independent political system, be it a state or  not.  Yeah, thats it.  Thats the basic axiom that underlies all philosophical thought about interaction in society, as it is currently understood and presented.  Pretty simple, huh?

The question is, of course, is the City worth defending?  Well, lets look at how this has traditionally been done, in the years gone by.  Lying and manipulation and deceit.  The state is built on lies of protection, of belonging and of external threats.  Myths of glory and power to give people purpose and external threats an enemy to focus on and imprint those past myths on.  An example would be how not wanting to go into Iraq in 2003 was presented as ,Äúappeasement,Äù by the right-wing British media.  After all, this is the Britain who would not appease Hitler, that is one of the central myths of the post-1945 world, that we do not kowtow to dictators of any stripe.  Its nonsense of course, in that we were willing to let democratic Czechoslovakia be subsumed without a fight, yet stood up for the militaristic and anti-semitic Polish government.  But its important in keeping the City together, so we can trot it out whenever we need some people killed somewhere.

Philosophy is one of the most important instruments in this.  Philosophers are so very useful when it comes to building narratives like this.  By informing people of the ideas of right and wrong, they inform how we view the world and the excuses we use to keep the City safe from internal breakdown.  Its no different if its the democratic myth that we choose our leaders or the aristocratic myth that our leaders are more able and worthy.

But that same philosophical input is a double-edged sword.  For some philosophers have dared to speak the truth in the past, to lay to rest the fanciful notions and lies that surround our societies.  Machiavelli, Stirner, Nietzsche and Morgenthau are a few examples of these sort of philosophers, who let the cat out of the bag.  How?  By telling the truth.  The truth is subversive in and of itself.  It invariably leads to nihilism, which undermines everything the state stands for, even in the passive Buddhist form but particularly in its powerful and transitory stage that Nietzsche talks of at length in his notes for The Will to Power.  By stripping away the lies and revealing the ultimate power mechanisms on which the state truly relies, these men lived up to the history of subversive philosophy.

Most people, even today, revile such thinkers.  They tend to have a blas?© attitude to morality that upsets our moral fixated culture, as well as a disconcerting ability to understand the underlying reasons behind the seemingly basic reasons we take for granted of social existence.  But, to paraphrase Orwell, ,ÄúIn times of philosophical deceit, telling the truth is a subversive act.,Äù In my opinion, the City is not worth saving.  Not for lies that crush the individual in the name of the masses, of society, of God or of popular consent.  The truth shall set ye free, as the saying goes.  Philosophy, in challenging how we think about basic assumptions, may be the start of all subversion and critical thinking from here on in.
#1281
Principia Discussion / Ancient Greeks and Eris
May 13, 2006, 01:04:37 AM
Righto, this is the Ancient Greek perception of Eris and Enyo (who were considered one and the same until the Alexandrian period).

Right, family history first.  According to Hesiod in his Theogony, Eris is the daughter of Nyx, that is night.  Those versed in Chinese philosophy will immediately make the connection between Yin and Nyx, the feminime, the dark and the cold.

However, Eris bucks the trend when it comes to the usual passivity associated with that principle.  She is also the sister of Ares, which should give you a clue as to her temperment.

Eris is also the mother of the Kakodaimones, the evil spirits which plagued mankind, according to Hesiod.  These he names as "Toil, and Forgetfulness, and Starvation, and the Pains, full of weeping, the Fightings and the Battles, the Murders and the Man-slaughters, the Quarrels, the Lies, the Disputes, and Lawlessness and Ruin, who share one another's natures, and Oath who does more damage than any other to earthly men, when anyone, of his knowledge, swears to a false oath."

These are also traditionally seen as the ill fates that were bound in Pandora's Box.  In fact, in Greek, the link is explicit in the mind of the poet.  That would also imply that Hope is one of the children of Eris.  Something to keep in mind, I feel.

For you fans of coincidence, Hesiod has a warning about the number 5.  And I quote "Beware of all the fifth days [of the month]; for they are harsh and angry; it was on the fifth, they say, that the Erinyes assisted at the bearing of Horkos, whom Eris bore, to be a plague on those who take false oath." - Hesiod, Works and Days 804


However, Eris was mostly viewed as the Goddess of the Strife of War.  With the regularity at which the Greeks fought, this is perhaps unsurprising.  Her first mention of battle is in the Trojan War.  According to Hesiod again, "[Eris] is hateful ... [she is the one] who builds up evil war, and slaughter. She is harsh; no man loves her, but under compulsion and by will of the immortals, men promote this rough Eris (Strife)." - Hesiod, Works and Days 11

In the war, she took the side of the Trojans, along with her brother Ares and his two sons, Phobos (Terror) and Deimos (Fear), against the rest of the Olympians and the Greek invaders.  Homer described her as follows "only a little thing at the first, but thereafter grows until she strides on the earth with her head striking heaven. She then hurled down bitterness equally between both sides as she walked through the onslaught making men's pain heavier." - Homer, Iliad 4.441

Eris even disobeyed Zeus and continued to fight, as the Lord of Olympus had commanded every God to retreat and let this stage of the war be a purely human affair.

Later on, she is seen on the battlefield with Confusion and Death, dragging dead bodies in a way reminiscint of what fate befell Hector after his challenge.  "These stood their ground and fought a battle by the banks of the river, and they were making casts at each other with their spears bronze-headed; and Eris was there with Kydoimos (Confusion) among them, and Ker (Death) the destructive; she was holding a live man with a new wound, and another one unhurt, and dragged a dead man by the feet through the carnage." - Homer, Iliad 18.535

Eris also gifted the Amazonian Queen with an immensely dangerous weapon, presumably of her creation; "a huge halberd, sharp of either blade, which terrible Eris gave to Ares' child to be her Titan weapon in the strife [of the Trojan War] that raveneth souls of men." - Quintus Smyrnaeus, Fall of Troy 1.158

She also gets a bonus mention in one of Aesops fables, funnily enough along with the mention of an apple and a very Taoist piece of advice from Athena:

"Herakles was making his way through a narrow pass. He saw something that looked like an apple lying on the ground and he tried to smash it with his club. After having been struck by the club, the thing swelled up to twice its size. Herakles struck it again with his club, even harder than before, and the thing then expanded to such a size that it blocked Herakles's way. Herakles let go of his club and stood there, amazed. Athena saw him and said, 'O Herakles, don't be so surprised! This thing that has brought about your confusion is Aporia (Contentiousness) and Eris (Strife). If you just leave it alone, it stays small; but if you decide to fight it, then it swells from its small size and grows large." - Aesop, Fables 534 (from Chambry 129)

Eris was not limited to strife on the battlefield though, the strife which inflicts married life is also mentioned.  "One day they [Polytekhnos and Aedon of Kolophon in Lydia] blurted out the needless remark that they loved each other more than did Hera and Zeus. Hera found what was said to be insupportable and sent Eris (Discord) between them to create strife in their activities."- Antoninus Liberalis, Metamorphoses 11

The story of the Golden Apple is an interesting one too.  "And all the race of gods hasted to do honour to the white-armed bride [Thetis at her wedding to Peleus] ... But Eris (Strife) [alone] did Kheiron [who sent out the invitations] leave unhonoured: Kheiron did not regard her and Peleus heeded her not ..." so Eris "she bethought her of the golden apples of the Hesperides. Thence Eris took the fruit that should be the harbinger of war, even the apple, and devised the scheme of signal woes. Whirling her arm she hurled into the banquet the primal seed of turmoil and disturbed the choir of goddesses."  I think we all know the story from there on in (taken from Colluthus, The Rape of Helen 38)

Eris also appears in some other Greek tales, sometimes under the name of Enyo, whom Homer ranked as equal to Athena in martial prowess "[The] goddesses, who range in order the ranks of men in fighting, [are] Athene and Enyo, sacker of cities." - Homer, Iliad 5.333

She makes many minor appearances in the Theban cycle of poetry, in particular the Thebiad, which tells of the fraticidal violence which eventually led to the epic battle as told by Aeschylus between Eteocles and the army of Thebes and Polynices and his supporters, traditional Theban enemies:

"Fit sentinels hold watch there [the Thracian palace of Mars-Ares]: from the outer gate wild Impetus (Passion) leaps, and blind Nefas (Mishief) and Irae (Angers) flushing red and pallid Metus (Fear), and Insidia (Treachery) lurks with hidden sword, and Discordia (Discord) [Eris] holding a two-edged blade. Minis (Threatenings) innumerable make clamour in the court, sullen Virtus (Valour) stands in the midst, and Furor (Rage) exultant and armed Mors (Death) with blood-stained visage are seated there; no blood but that of wars is on the altars, no fire but snatched from burning cities." - Statius, Thebaid 7.64

She is also mentioned in Valerius Flaccus' Argonautica, which is a pretty inferior rewriting of Apollonius of Rhodes' version of the tale: "Through the terror-stricken air again and again she [Aphrodite leading the Lemnian women to slaughter their unfaithful husbands] makes a strange cry ring ,Ķ Straightway Pavor (Fear) [Deimos] and insensate Discordia (Strife) [Eris] from her Getic lair, dark-browed Ira (Anger) with pale cheeks, Dolus (Treachery), Rabies (Frenzy) [Lyssa] and towering above the rest Letus (Death) [Ker], her cruel hands bared, come hastening up at the first sound of the Martian consort,Äôs pealing voice that gave the signal." - Valerius Flaccus, Argonautica 2.200

Eris was also the escort of the dread Demon/Dragon Typhoeus, who Zeus battled deep in the Abyss, though she took no part in the battle itself.

Another important role is in the fascinating Dionysiaca text.  Eris appeared in the form of the Goddess Rheia, exhorting him to make battle with the Indian King Deriades, who she later sides with, along with the usual crew of Ares and Fear and Terror.

However, Hesiod mentions there are two Eris', or at least two aspects to her:

"It was never true that there was only one Eris. There have always been two on earth. There is one you could like when you understand her. The other is hateful. The two Erites have separate natures. There is one Eris who builds up evil war, and slaughter. She is harsh; no man loves her, but under compulsion and by will of the immortals, men promote this rough Eris (Strife). But the other one was born the elder daughter of black Nyx. The son of Kronos, who sits on high and dwells in the bright air set her in the roots of the earth and among men; she is far kinder. She pushes the shiftless man to work, for all his laziness. A man looks at his neighbour, who is rich: then he too wants work; for the rich man presses on with his ploughing and planting and ordering of his estate. So the neighbour envies the neighbour who presses on toward wealth. Such Eris (Strife) is a good friend to mortals." - Hesiod, Works and Days 11

Next part: Enyo, Bellona and the Eastern Connection.
#1282
Literate Chaotic / Found this while surfing...
May 10, 2006, 12:55:16 PM
One day, in the interests of religious cross-fertilization, Mal-2 went fishing. He baited the hook with his pineal gland, and quickly caught a nice big fish. Giggling maniacally, he dragged the little sucker into the boat and prepared to sermonize it to death.
"Wait!" said the fish.
"Why?" Mal-2 asked.
"I'm a talking fish! Aren't you curious? Talk to fish all the time, do you?"
"Nooooooooo."
"Well, then. Listen up. I'm The Cod."
"Was that a proper noun?"
"YES!" pronounced The Cod majestically. "I am a proper noun bearing COD, and you know what that means."
"Yes," Mal-2 sighed. "I've got to catch a less talkative fish." He picked up The Cod, and prepared to throw it back.
"Wait! I come bearing a message!"
Mal-2 sighed again. "I'm under contract to Eris. She made me sign an exclusivity clause. Besides, no one wants to listen to a fish."
"That's why YOU have to do the talking for me," Cod said desperately. "Look, you don't have to worship me, just, you know, when you tell people about Eris, maybe just kind of slip in, 'And you are all children of Cod! Hail Eris!', you know?"
Mal-2 lowered the fish, and looked it pentagonally in the eye. "We are all Children of Cod?"
"Yep."
"What, ALL of us?"
"Er... yes?"
"Even Eris?"
"Um, no. I guess not."
"So we're all children of Eris as well?"
"Sure. Why not?"
"Are you saying my Goddess had sex with a fish?"
Cod moaned in dismay. "Look, of course not. I'm just saying..."
"Well, she did."
The Cod paused. "Oh. Right. THAT party... woo. Well, irregardless. Will you do it?"
"Yes. But one more question about this Children of Cod thing..."
"Okay," the Cod shrugged. Mal-2 had never seen a fish shrug before, and was suitably impressed.
"So, all of us are Children of Cod? Everyone except Eris?"
"Yup."
"What about you? Are you a Child of Cod?" Mal-2 asked.
"Um, yes." said Cod uncertainly. "Yes! Yes I am!"
"How can you be your own child?"
The Cod looked at Mal-2 with an evil glint in his fishy eye.
"Go fuck yourself!"

And Mal-2 was enlightened. But Cod sank his boat anyway, just for being a smart-ass. And he got wet, but didn't drown, and was still enlightened.
#1284
I had a dream...

Last night, I slept badly.  I had a dream, where  was stuck in a strange land with many others, Discordians like yourselves.  A storm was brewing in the distance and another could already be seen to be on top of us.  Fire and devastation reigned down from the sky and black smoke filled the air.  Then I saw a bolt of lightning strike out from the clouds, destroying a tree, which was on the hill many of us had run to.

We are trapped, my fellow Discordians.  Deep in the Land of Thud, we are beset by enemies on every side, enemies who will think nothing of killing and imprisoning people like us, regardless of if they are Republicans, Socialists or Fascists.  We sit here with our foes approaching on every side, cutting off all chance of escape.  What are we waiting for?  A general for those who take no orders?  Or shall we sit here until one of us considers ourselves experienced and old enough to lead?  Because none of us will have the chance to get old soon enough, if our enemies take us.

No longer shall we be mere observers, wallowing in self pity as we are subject to events beyond our control.  We must seize the moment by the neck or they will have us by the balls, forever.  They have ended any hope of truce with their torture, kidnapping and theft, the betrayals that show their words to be hollow.  They think us to be weak and afraid, so now is the time for a show of strength!  

We will declare war on the inhabitants of Thud, no more thought given to parley or bargaining.  No more time spent on laying blame as to who bought us to this perilous place, that no longer matters, every ounce of our energy must be directed against the Greyfaces.  Because that is what they are, Greyfaces and mindless Cabbages and Pinks who would damn us all if they could! We are Discordians and they are not, its that simple.  So lets remind them what Discord means!  They are everything we are not, dominators and destroyers, they have hate in their hearts for everything not normal, not the same as them.  They have a thousand crusades and a billion bloody corpses to their names.  Who among us can really say there is any similarity between who we are and what they are?

No more delaying!  We must be as cunning as our historical ancestors, the American revolutionaries, the Freethinking Lodges such as the Illuminati, the Surrealists, the Assassins and the Enlightenment philosophers, all of who fought against vastly huge odds and armies to live their lives the way they chose.

Never can we afford to lay down our arms and declare victory, not until we are out of Thud, not while the danger lurks around us, waiting like wolves to pick a stray from the flock.  Its us or them.  If anyone tries to mislead us with deceiving talk as to the dangers that await us, or with vague ideas of appeasement, let us cast him out and declare them too cowardly and  useless to be on our side.  The Greyfaces shall make us merciless, but through that we will survive.

Life is conflict and conflict is the domain of our good Lady.  Let us draw a line in the sand and recognize our enemies for what they are, then go into battle
#1285
Heraclitus was born at Ephesus of aristocratic parentage around 540 B.C. and lived until 475 B.C. We know almost nothing finite about his life, except that he was early known as difficult of comprehension, hence the nickname "The Dark One" or in Greek skoteinos. There is no absolute evidence for a Book of his philosophical ideas, and the hundred or so "Fragments", which are quoted from later sources, seem to derive from his personal Sayings or Counsels, much in the manner of Pythagoras' Symbola. Strangely many of the cited fragments come from Christian sources, bent on disproving or ridiculing Heraclitus' words, a bad effort which has the good effect of giving us a few more of Heraclitus' precious insights.

http://community.middlebury.edu/~harris/Philosophy/Heraclitus.html

Read now plz.  You'll find him very relevant to Discordianism.
#1286
Literate Chaotic / I see the Goth - A poem
April 30, 2006, 09:54:42 PM
Whenever I see some kid dressed in black acting snobby because he listens to shit bands no-one else has heard of, I see the Goth

When I see another copycat version of the Columbine shooting done by some dipshit in a black trenchcoat, I see the Goth

When I see young kids kidnapped and killed as part of Satanic rituals, I see the work of the Goth

Whenever I cant get into the rock night at the Union bar because some dipshit started a fight, I see the Goth

When I see the ruined remains of the city of Rome, heart of the empire, I see the work of the Goth

When I see people denounce others as being conformist scum while they all dress in the same black clothing, listen to the same music and wear make up, I see the Goth

When I see a stupid shitty Myspace site that is so heavily and badly modded it crashes my browser and I lose my work, I see the Goth

When I see a trashed gig venue for some half decent bands, I see the work of the Goth

Whenever I see an angry person dressed in head to toe black and wearing white make up complaining that people label and stare at them, I see the Goth
#1287
Or Kill Me / LDD Sermon #2
March 25, 2006, 06:18:53 AM
The Guerrilla Warfare Strategy of Operation MindFuck

In warfare, the oldest form of asymmetrical fighting is partisan and guerrilla warfare.  Because of the modern day situation, where a few groups like Discordians, the SubGenii and some others ,Äúfight,Äù as small bands against a wave of apathy and some outright hostility, the comparisons are apt.  We don't control the media, in the same way the Spanish bands who fought Napoleon didn't have heavy artillery or cavalry.  Its no great admission we are in a weaker position and so using the tactics of the weak makes sense.

Our main aim is destabilizing the Greyfaces and illuminating the Cabbages.  The distinction isn't often clear, but a Greyface is usually someone who consciously chooses the trip of Order, whereas a Cabbage doesn't even think about it, normally, as it is a basic part of the fabric of existence, as they have been indoctrinated.  Greyfaces are far more the enemy, whereas Cabbages can be camouflage, dupes or even allies, as well as being made to work against you.  Its kind of like the distinction between Government and the public.

So how do we go about this?  If I had only two words to sum it up, I would say fight dirty.  Advantage comes from surprise, the novel and the unconventional.  Anything outside of normal experience can be enough to shake a person, mentally.  Come from an unexpected angle, use deception and manipulation to level the playing field.  You gain many advantages this way, not least in being near impossible to fight.  How can you hope to stop something that is so subversive that most of the time there are no laws to deal with it?

Disinformation is an excellent strategy, if its about your own group or others.  The best method for lying is to use a large amount of the truth, but sneak in a lie built on the basis of that truth.  When someone tries to check, they will find the majority of your information correct and so go along with it.  It can also be used in another fashion to blow minds, by making a seamless mixture of fact and fallacy that the target becomes illuminated through confusion.  The Illuminatus! Trilogy is a good example of how to do that, with all the information about the Illuminati and the characters, constantly making you question everything.

Most people can get used to even the most extraordinary events, with enough exposure to it.  Thats why you must constantly be changing and modifying ideas!  Humans are among the best pattern seekers on this planet, so be wary of that.  You must always seek the route of least expectation, in order to keep the upper hand.  Evolve or die!

Remember that the cabbages are the field in which the Discordian hides!  Dressing and acting normally is the best defense of not getting caught.  Take notice of your surroundings and adapt accordingly.  Dressing like a freak isn't a mindfuck, its just another way of painting a sign to hang on your back, saying ,Äútarget,Äù.  I get away with my outrageous acts precisely because I blend into a crowd.  I wear jeans and a t-shirt normally, or if its a formal/business type area, a suit.  No-one messes with someone in a suit, especially if it looks like it might be expensive.  Of course, doing a mindfuck while in a suit can also be equally shocking as a tactic.  Depending on what you have planned.

This also allows you to infiltrate and destroy from the inside.  Whether you choose to be an agent provocateur, to sabotage or simply learn about how they think and their weaknesses, this is a very powerful skill to have.  Being on the inside gives advantages beyond imagining, so long as you practice sincerity in what you say and prove your worth.

Work with the Cabbages too, if your interests meet.  They may be anti-war lobbyists, SubGenius evil masterminds or people you've fooled.  You cannot expect to work well on your own.  You'll find all sorts of useful people, among many varied groups.  If you have a common, short term enemy (apart from society in general, like the GOP, for example) then you can take the O:MF route  while they rely on conventional methods.  Between the two, you can wear them down.  Of course, they may have Greyfaces among their leadership too.  But the longer you are in contact, the greater the chance of illumination...

Always remember that you are fighting a war of attrition, with no foreseeable end in sight.  Pace yourself and make sure you don't end up emptying your bag of tricks all at once.  Keep chipping away at the fabric of society, or whatever you want to call your target.  Water will wear down mountains more surely than any amount of blind and mindless pushing and flailing around.  Water dripping on stone...it only takes one drop to fall in the right place...in time, you will have taken the ground from underneath them and left them confused, with no sure ground anywhere.

The final way of acting is not to many peoples tastes.  It can also be counter-productive.  However, sometimes it can work with startling results.  Through acts of psychological terror and chaos you can sow disorder and mistrust to large segments of the people around you.  Hasan ibn al Sabbah understood this when he founded the Assassins.  A small group of religious fanatics came to dominant the Middle East through less than 200 murders.
Of course, we are against violence for the pragmatic reasons that others have laid out.  However, the point of such a campaign of psychological terror is to provoke a massive response from the Greyfaces.  Sometimes you will find yourself pitted against people who there is no reasoning with, who will have a gnawing hate for you and all that you stand for and will not rest until you are destroyed.  The weakest succumb to fear, spreading rumours which destabilize the rest, because they have to spend time imposing order on themselves rather than you.  I'm sure you can come up with a number of ways to do this to a group.  Hasan showed that a small dedicated band can hold an empire hostage through fear.  We don't aim as high, nor are we as committed to the type of acts necessary, but they can be applied to smaller groups and individuals.  Again, mistrust of everything becomes an important target that you should want them to be heading towards.  Security is never perfect, after all.  Knock away their psychological crutches, one by one.
#1288
Literate Chaotic / Make the Pie Higher
March 17, 2006, 11:13:32 PM
A Poem by George W Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the Internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
#1289
Literate Chaotic / Foucault's Pendulum
March 01, 2006, 12:36:29 AM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foucault%27s_Pendulum

Has anyone here read this?  It looks like good mindfucking material, in the vein of Illuminatus!, by the Italian philosopher Umberto Eco.  Or a cross between that and the Da Vinci Code, only with a much deeper knowledge of the symbology than that hack Brown.  I'm going to check on Amazon for it.
#1290
Literate Chaotic / Assassin Theosophy
February 27, 2006, 07:04:19 PM
This is mostly for LMNO, as he hsowed an interest in it, to read when he gets back.  But anyone else can feel free to comment.

In common with other Shi,Äôite sects the Isma,Äôilis were not content to dwell on the surface meaning of the text but made use of a subtle and elaborate method of textual exegesis, called ta,Äôwil.  Every verse of the sacred book, indeed every word and even every letter, is found to have an esoteric significance, the batin, which is additional and complementary to the exoteric, surface, meaning, the zahir. This quest for inner meaning in sacred texts was, it is true, a widespread obsession in the Middle Ages, for example in the Qabbalah, and it can be found to some extent in Christianity as well, though it never became institutionalized among Christians as it did among the Isma,Äôilis.

More on ta'wil here http://www.quran.org.uk/articles/ieb_quran_tawil.htm

The Shi,Äôite writers speak of there being four levels of meaning in each verse of the Koran: the first is the surface meaning, the second is the level of allusion, the third is the occult sense, and the fourth is the level of spiritual teachings. These four levels are intended for different audiences: the first is for ordinary Muslims, the second is for the elite, the third is for the Friends of God (the ,ÄôInner Circle,Äô of humanity), and the fourth is for the Prophets. A saying attributed to ,ÄôAli, the First Imam, also gives four levels of meaning as contained in the Koran: the first is for oral recitation, the second is for interior comprehension, the third sets out those things that are allowed and those that are not, and the fourth indicates the effect that God intends to produce in man by the verse in question.

By a typically Isma,Äôili extension of the idea, the three levels of understanding also have a cosmological reference. The first level corresponds to the physical world and the earth element; the second level to the world of religion and to water; the third to the spiritual world and to air. But even this third level is concerned merely with knowledge of Reality, not with Reality itself; only prophets have access to Reality, through direct acquaintance with theMystery. This faculty depends on the immediate reception of divine inspiration via the brain and corresponds to the fire element, which is too burning for ordinary mortals to withstand.

The Arabic language, being the raw material, so to speak, out of which the Koran was constructed, also contained vital clues to the organization of the universe, and here the analogy with a cipher system is particularly close. for example, the Divine Command which gives rise to creation is represented by the Arabic letters kaf (k) and nun (n). Two letters are needed because all creatures come together in pairs in order to reproduce; this represents a fundamental law of the universe. The letters k and n are chosen because of their numerical values in the ,Äôabjad,Äô system, according to which each letter in the Arabic alphabet is assigned a number equivalent. The value for k is 20 and that for n is 50, giving a total of 70 (10 x 7, the key Isma,Äôili number).

The symbolism can be extended further. Between kaf and nun in the alphabet come lam (l) and mim (m). K and n symbolize respectively the First and Second Intelligences (to be discussed shortly), from which proceed Matter and Form, symbolized by l and m. L and m can also symbolize the Prophet and the Imam, or emanation and the return to the source; the list of possible correspondences can easily be extended, but those I have mentioned will give an idea of the Isma,Äôili method of exegesis. Vital though it was, however, the search for occult significance in the Koran and in Nature was only one aspect of the Isma,Äôilis,Äô intellectual activity. Another was the attempt to formulate their insights philosophically, and for this they drew heavily on Neoplatonism.

Creation simply happens, by virtue of a Divine Command (amr) or Word (c.f. the Logos of the Fourth Gospel: ,ÄôIn the beginning was the Word,Äô). In so far as we can think about God at all, we are compelled to do so in terms of the Word.
A closely related concept is that of the First Intelligence, or Universal Reason. Many Isma,Äôili authors, in fact, seem to regard the Word and the First Intelligence as identical. The First Intelligence, therefore, is the link between the unknowable Absolute and the universe. But we must not forget that this statement contains a mystery and a paradox, for it is also true to say that no such link exists.
The First Intelligence is not part of creation; rather, it is the act of creation
itself, by virtue of which the universe comes into being. The first manifestation of the universe is the Second Intelligence, also known as the First Emanation and the Universal Soul. Below the Second Intelligence come further Intelligences, giving a total of 10 Intelligences (9 Emanations).

,Ä¢ First Intelligence (Command, Word) = Universal Reason
,Ä¢ Second Intelligence = Universal Soul = First Emanation
,Ä¢ Third Intelligence = Second Emanation
,Ä¢ Fourth Intelligence = Third Emanation
,Ä¢ Fifth Intelligence = Fourth Emanation
,Ä¢ Sixth Intelligence = Fifth Emanation
,Ä¢ Seventh Intelligence = Sixth Emanation
,Ä¢ Eighth Intelligence = Seventh Emanation
,Ä¢ Ninth Intelligence = Eighth Emanation
,Ä¢ Tenth Intelligence = Ninth Emanation

There is more if you anyone is interested, but its deep theology and Platonic theory.  I've never studied stuff half this complex before.
#1291
Evangelism:  A Discordian Manual.

How to be a charismatic leader, in 3 easy steps and several monstrously hard ones.
[/u]

Charismatics all have the following attributes and qualities:

1)   A sense of purpose
2)   Mystery/contradiction
3)   Saintliness/Matching values to personal lives
4)   Use of rhetoric and eloquence with the spoken word.
5)   Self-assurance and theatricality
6)   Uninhibitedness
7)   Fervency in your cause
8)Vulnerability/depth of emotion
9)   Adventurousness/Courage
10) Magnetism.  The ability to treat and seduce a crowd like an individual person.

1)This is pretty easy.  Always radiate that you know what you are doing.  Be it going to the bar for another drink or speaking at a rally, act like you are totally in charge.  This applies to ideologies too.  Don't sway from your goal and people will be heartened by your confidence, which will in turn raise yours.

2)Contradictions in character and values add mystery, make you hard to comprehend and so all the more interesting and complex.  Given the nature of Discordianism, this shouldn't be too hard to project.

3)Appearing to live out your ideals in your own life.  Goes beyond religion and politics, for example Washington and Lenin.  Very hard and dangerous to fake.

4)Words are the easiest method to stir emotions which can be manipulated and controlled.  The slow, authoritarian, hypnotic style (e.g. Roosevelt) works better than the highly impassioned oratory.

5)Draw attention through self-confidence and calmness.

6)Being uninhibited can allow for many opportunities, as it makes you seem larger than life and fearless.  Others project their fantasies onto you because of it and your apparent power is magnified.

7)You can act as a focus point for peoples discontent.  People will rally around you in the hope of communal experience that society fails to give today.  Your beliefs should be like an inner fire, powering your every word, gesture and action.

8)Opening up to your audience again uses their emotions to build rapport with you and increase your status.  You should desire your audience, as nothing plays to their vanity more.

9)Your unconventionality and air of adventure should attract the bored.  Your heroism and willingness to stand up for your beliefs will reflect other qualities.  However, any signs of cowardice after establishing this will ruin your charisma.

10)The use of your eyes are vital.  They should show detached zeal and excitement.  Never let them show fear or nerves.  Always hold peoples gazes.

How to use language

Contradictory nature

Show yourself as having one attribute while showing a subtle underplay of another (devilish humour mixed with sadness for example).  The secondary characteristic should be only hinted at, never overplayed lest you appear schizophrenic or threatening.

Noise vs Sound

A guide to speaking.  Remember that we are surrounded by the noises of talk all day.  Stand out, use rhythm and pace to make your words more like relaxing music that seeps in under someones defences.

Sow Discontent.

Make people question the future, depressed, question their personalities and purpose.  Paint a bleak picture, then show your alternative.  Do not be that obvious, they must feel the wound and let it fester a short while before you can cure it.  Remember to use the quality of excitement, of breaking routines and daily boredom!  Also use historical tools, ,Äúgolden age,Äù vs present.  

Always insinuate.

Insinuation works under the natural resistance and mental walls of individuals.  Learn how to hint, direct and be subtle.  A banal remark or encounter that addresses an emotional issue briefly will yield more than a thousand facts.  Use imagination and desire to plant these seeds.  ,ÄúAccidental,Äù or ,Äúsleep on it,Äù remarks work well too.

Use barriers and tension to create desire and temptation.  

If there are none of these in the environment, invent them.  Drawing them into taboos and the darker sides of their personalities often works well.  Use suspense and temporary withdrawals from public life too, to aid the process.

Think before you speak!

Every word should be delivered to achieve maximum effect.  Flattery is best, arguments are the worst.  Use humour and lightheartedness to lower peoples defences.  Use absolutes, to maximize emotional effect.  The confusion you should sow will let you control the situation.

Prove Yourself.

Show you have courage in your convictions.  Without actions, your words are merely hot air.  Even if you fail or make a fool of yourself, so long as you went in unflinchingly and tried your hardest, you will have proved yourself.

Attack modern conventions.

Ties back to taboos.  The younger your audience, the more easily they are made to rebel against the current status quo.  The more illicit and dangerous you appear, the stronger the bonds that are made.

Everyone's a masochist.

Use these leanings to your advantage.  A small amount of introduced pain will again solidify the bonds you have crafted.

Become the pursued.

Withdraw for a while, let your audience do the chasing and hard work.  By denying the climax they expect, their dependency increases.
#1292
Or Kill Me / Sermon to the LDD/Activist Wing
February 26, 2006, 02:23:34 AM
What Zen has most to offer Anarchism is freedom HERE AND NOW. No longer needed is the Anarchist dream of a Utopian millennium as he struggles to outwit the State - for he can find freedom in the contest.
- The Zenarchist Cookbook

"They branded us as outlaws. We know, as you, only outlaws can be free."
- excerpted from the introduction of Hell,Äôs Angels Forever

My brothers and sisters, misfits and mutants, I speak before you tonight.  And let us make no mistake, we are the misfits within a society of them. We are hardly ,Äúserious Discordians,Äù, that is to say dogmatists, but we have been known to be the more serious members of a society known for its laughter and humour.

I come to speak about our efforts, our own fight.  For are we not the ones once described as the ,Äúsmash the CoN,Äù Discordians?  I have a most important thing to say about us, and how we go.  Do you feel down?  Depressed that we have failed to smash the state?  Angry at the state of the world?  Well good!  Those are perfectly natural emotions.  Channel them, use them.  Turn them outwards, learn how that can be used to your advantage, as a driving force for your intentions.

But thats what I am not here to say.  Do you ever feel constricted?  That the freedom offered to us on a plate by Eris herself has been stolen by those who care nothing for us?  That you are being smothered by events and people outside of your control?  I am here to tell you not that this is irrelevant, because that would be an awful lie, but there is another way to think about it.  If tomorrow, the CoN were to be smashed, that a state arose that was run entirely to a fair and noble system, would you give up the fight?  Really?

I didn't think so.  You cannot help yourselves.  We cannot stop testing, as much as we would like.  To be part of the LDD sometimes less a matter of political leaning and more a disorder of the mind, one that perhaps lacks sense but acts in the world as a necessary opposition, adversaries of even those who are noble and good, so they can prove themselves.  And when you realize that regardless of the situation you would still be acting as you do now, though perhaps against other targets, you start to see freedom is part of the fight.  So long as you live to oppose order, you have your freedom.  

,ÄúWhere there is hope only in arms, those arms are holy,Äù Livy once said.  This have never been truer than today.  Our fight is a holy one, there is no question.  If our freedom is found in the fight, then our battles themselves carry the blessings of Discordia, wherever we face down destructive order.  We are the shock troops of the Discordian Society, often shouting and angry, but we are the best, forging our way to our own lives, our own way of doing things.  ,ÄúFreedom,Äù and ,Äúfighting,Äù no longer hold a distinction in my mind.  Both are the same.

If we cannot be saints of esoteric Discordia, let us be at least its warriors.  We are the companions and forerunners of such saintship.  I advise you not to peace, but to victory!  And know that in breaking the peace you already have it!  We are the hooligan outlaws who threaten the sainted order of grey fools!  We exist, we are the warrior in you, and our message is dangerous to the
existing order.  Just knowledge of our aims would bring more worries to the existing status quo than a thousand mad Arab fundamentalist billionaires.

Live your life as you would.  That is our only ,Äúrule,Äù and how we distinguish ourselves from the others.  That is all that can be really asked of you.  If you find your freedom in opposing, then you are one of us.  If not, then we will not hold it against you.  Of course, that is not enough.  It never is.  Most of us here have a conception of freedom in a political and societal sense, inherited from a group of 18th century philosophers who just happened to get it right.  We need to regain those values.  But in trying to get them, in a sense we have already secured them for ourselves.  All we have to do is spread them to others.

Episkopos Cain
BoomTime, 57 Chaos, YOLD 3172
#1293
Or Kill Me / Smash the Tablet of Laws?
February 08, 2006, 03:12:30 PM
I thought I had woken up after sleeping uncomfortably in bed, however, this couldn't be true as there was no longer any bed under me, only a sparkly brown and yellow dirt.  I stood up and looked around me. In the distance were mountains, far closer was a low flat topped hill.  It was like nowhere I had been before, yet intimately familiar.

Then I saw her.  Dressed in full bronze armour, a helmet over her head and a double bladed sword in her hand, she walked up to me.  As I got closer, I saw that her hair and armour were covered in blood, a large shield with an apple covering it, the word written on it clearly visible.
,ÄúAh,Äù I said.  ,ÄúOK then.  Whats all this about?,Äù
The golden eyes within the helm looked at me.  ,ÄúIts for my amusement and for your possible education.  After all, isn't all life but a learning experience?,Äù
,ÄúI thought that was all Yahweh's shit, testing people and so on?,Äù
,ÄúIts not really a test though, is it?  You can't fail, or succeed, only learn from it.,Äù

With that, she beckoned. then turned and started to walk away.  I followed, seeing what she had in store.  We stopped suddenly.  Looking down, I saw two weapons on the ground, a short sword and a hammer. ,ÄúChoose only one,Äù she said.  I thought for a moment, then reached for the hammer.  The sword had the advantage of an edge, but was purely a killing weapon.  Hammers had utility in their favour.  I stood back up straight, but Eris had vanished.  Making my way back to the plains, I saw suddenly a flurry of activity there.

Walking down the hill, I saw that they were men and women, all busily at work, consuming the resources of the area to make new things.  But as I drew closer there were other things I noticed.  They walked curiously, sometimes bumping into others thats transected their paths.  Instead of stopping or apologizing, they just carried on.  Occasionally when it came to several against one, the one got trampled on.  I also watched as they fashioned bladed items and handed them to others, cutting them as they grabbed it and took it to other areas around the plains, where they were dumped in piles for more blind drones to fall over.

One man just ate continually as he walked, whatever he could find, if it was food or rock he didn't care.  Blood ran from his mouth and there were children following him, crying out in hunger.  Seeing as he was closest, I walked up beside him and shouted ,Äúhey!,Äù  It didn't have an effect, so I attempted to grab some of the food he had held against his body by his arm.  Immediately, he grabbed me and shouted ,Äúget off my stuff, FUCKER!,Äù and nearly broke my arm shoving me to the ground.  I let him walk on, then dusted myself off and rubbed my arm until some life came back into it.

Getting up and moving on, I made my slow way to the flat hill I had seen at the centre of the plains, watching as I went the mechanical scenes of destruction and mindless suffering.  Making my way onto the flat surface, I saw someone had erected a huge tablet in the centre, with writing on it.  Getting closer, the writing was obvious.  Words and phrases jumped out, such as ,Äúeveryone shall be subject only to such limitations as are determined by law solely for the purpose of securing due recognition and respect for the rights and freedoms of others and of meeting the just requirements of morality, public order ...,Äù.

Under that though, other words could be noticed, as I drew closer, such as ,Äúendowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.,Äù  But under that there were even older scratchings and carvings.  I made out one barely, that read ,Äú now on, till (Ahura) Mazda grants me the kingdom favor, I will impose my monarchy on no nation. Each is free to accept it , and if any one of them rejects it , I never resolve on war to reign.,Äù

But even under these carvings there were the oldest ones, the ones that had always been there.  ,ÄúBlood shall be spilled and more blood, for there is never enough...,Äù, ,Äúwar brings strength and only the strong have the right to rule,Äù and ,Äúcities of the nations the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes. Completely destroy them--the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites--as the LORD your God has commanded you. Otherwise, they will teach.,Äù

I had an idea as to what to do.  Lifting the hammer, I swung as hard as possible and struck the tablet.  As the first crack appeared, everyone stopped what they were doing, at started to move towards me, an urgency in their step that I hadn't seen before propelling them.  Spurred on, I struck again and again, until the tablet crumbled, its lower sections totally destroyed, collapsing in on itself.

But what I saw horrified me.  Instead of stopping what they had been doing, or even attacking me, the crowds had turned on each other.  They were spilling blood and crushing bones, like a horrible theatre that would never end.  I noticed that an armoured figure was beside me again.  ,ÄúWhy are they doing this?,Äù I demanded.  ,ÄúWhy didn't it help them?,Äù

,ÄúWhoever said it would help?,Äù came the reply from under the helm.  ,ÄúYou think they want to have their illusions ripped from them, the true extent of their handiwork displayed for them and everyone else to see?  They'll torture themselves with guilt, unless they can lay the blame on someone else.  You were a target first, but then they saw what those around them forced them to do too.  Consider the lesson taught.,Äù

I looked back, and no-one was there.
#1294
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/

This is like a personal list of must watch films for me.  The phrase "so bad its good" springs to mind.  The reviewer certainly has a sense of humour too.  Anything with three acid drops or more next to their name is probably worth trying to look up on Amazon.
#1295
Or Kill Me / Aim for the head
January 31, 2006, 06:48:08 PM
"Surrounded by Moslem maniacs on one side and Christian maniacs on the other, the wise Lord Hassan [al-Sabbah] preserved his people and his cult by bringing the art of assassination to aesthetic perfection. With just a few daggers strategically placed in exactly the right throats, he found Wisdom's alternative to war, and preserved the peoples by killing their leaders. Truly, his was a most exemplary life of grandmotherly kindness."
-Uber Strip Schnipp-Schnapp, Weltspielen and Funfwissenschaft, Adam Weishaupt

9/10 out of 10 fights are instantly finished by a strike to the central nervous system, thats to say the head or spine.
- Canadian cop and self defence teacher Darren Laur.

Often the art of Operation MindFuck and Discordian warfare against the external Greyfaces has been described as that of ontological guerrilla warfare.  We are the secret slugs among the cabbage patch of humanity, waging our war of attrition against the forces of destructive order and the cabbages themselves we rely on for our cover?

Have we ever considered a better strategy?  Revolution can be a funny and complex situation.  More often, it occurs from the bottom up, with a vanguard carefully directing it.  But there is also the revolution from above, where those in power force changes down the stages of society often, but not always, to consolidate their own position.  Reforms are put in place, changes are made and what seemed impossible becomes normal...

Instead of ontological guerrillas we need ontological assassins.  Just like the Assassins of al-Sabbah and the later anarchist movements who modelled their tactics on them, causing every prince in Europe to sit less securely on their thrones.  Conversion, confusion...whatever the aim we should be trying for the people at the very top, as much as those at the bottom, if not more so.  Strategy works because of cohesion and in this ever more centralized (yet interdependent) world, that cohesion can be found to be in the hands of very few individuals indeed.  The media becomes another weapon, turning our attack into something widespread, further effecting more people.

A MindFuck here, a tossed Golden Apple there could be made much more effective when attacking nodes, as opposed to the outer fringes of order in society.  An institution, religious group or government based around a charismatic central leader, or group of leaders, is instantly more susceptible, plus it has the added advantage of not working well on Discordians and other decentralized/chaotic groups of people.

We could even get some friend in higher places who see things from our point of view.  Sure, its not like we want to create a Discordian country, unlike some religions I could name *cough*JudaismIslamChristianityHindus*cough*.  But having friends and access never hurt anyone either, as well as some people who actually start thinking for themselves and want others around them to also do that, AND have the resources to do it better than we could ever hope to.

Of course, OM already does this, to a degree.  By aiming for the heads instead of the bodies, we leave a lot less in the way of dying people and ,ÄúDiscordian inquisitions,Äù (though I wouldn't trust any Discordian jihadis with sharp instruments, for their own safety if nothing else).  Learning how to get inside someones head and make them see things another way is a valuable and useful tool that should be put to greater use.  But Discordianism cannot expect any significant change or yuks to come about from low level attacks.  Higher the target, the higher the return.  But I'm just some schmuck who needs to stop reading goddamn military history books so much, so don't take it too seriously.
#1296
Literate Chaotic / Rewriting the City
January 29, 2006, 11:36:15 PM
I made my way through the darkened streets to the Open Bar, clutching at the roll of money in my pocket tightly.  I hated the City at this time of evening, just as the sun was setting.  The street lights shone their awful orange light over the odd, mind-defying angles and corners, illuminating the semi-darkness that was around me in a way that was far worse then had it been just pitch black.  Shapes stumbled around in the darkness as I gripped my roll of cash even harder.  It had been a tough job, but worth it.  The Presbyterian Church  had paid well for their security upgrade in their headquarters and anything that upset the Lord's Brigades was well worth doing.  It was strange, you'd think those two groups would get along, but the Presbyterians work among the City slums, plus their denunciations of the evils of capitalism, toned down lately of course, had made them enemies in very high places.

Ah, here I was.  I looked up to the narrow door of the Open Bar.  The taller buildings either side of the squat bar threw deeper shadows in the relative darkness, but here, a step away from the Bar, I could be more or less assured of safety.  I swung the door inwards, savouring the bright, cheery light within, a stark comparison to the architects nightmare that lay outside.

Dying for a scotch, I moved my way up to the bar itself.  It wasn't that busy this time of evening.  Most of the people who came here didn't work ,Äúnormal,Äù office hours anyway, me among them, so the busy times were often random and unpredictable.  Grabbing a stool and peeling a note from the roll, I said to Mangrove ,Äúsome Glenlivet thanks.  Actually, make it a double, with ice.,Äù  He came back swiftly with the drink, saying ,Äúits funny you should be in today.  LMNO was asking about where you were.,Äù
,ÄúOh?,Äù I replied, before taking a sip.  ,ÄúWhat was it about?,Äù
,ÄúHe said he may have a job for you, something that suited your particular skills, he said.,Äù
,ÄúOh dear, that never sounds good.  He's pretty competent on his own, I can't see why he'd need me for anything.,Äù
,ÄúWell, he has got this new client whose case is taking up a lot of his time...,Äù
,ÄúHmm, maybe I'll contact him and see whats happening.  Thanks for the tip-off.,Äù
,ÄúNo problem,Äù Mangrove replied as he went to serve another customer.

So, another job, I thought to myself as I sipped on the scotch.  That could be useful.  Ever since the ,Äúincident,Äù 9 months ago, I had been more or less without steady employment.  I mean, sure, it wasn't like there weren't jobs available.  But working in a factory 11 hours a day until I was 70 just didn't have the appeal, nor did drug running for the Matarese or the Cosa Nostra or whoever had control of the trade, for that matter.  

Finishing the drink, I grabbed my cell and made a call to LMNO's office.  One ring...two rings..3...just as my thumb started to move to the hang up button, someone answered.  ,ÄúHello?,Äù LMNO's voice came, crystal clear down the line.
,ÄúHi, its Cain here,,Äù I answered, ,ÄúI heard you had a job offer for me?,Äù
,ÄúYeah.  Well, kind of.  Its complicated.,Äù
,ÄúWe'll need to talk then.  You name a time you're free.,Äù
,ÄúWe'll, I can be at the bar in, say 10 minutes?  It'll have to be brief, as I've got a client to meet straight afterwards.
,ÄúThat'll be fine,Äù, I replied.  ,ÄúSee you in ten.,Äù The line went dead.

I enjoyed the rest of my drink, idly waiting.  It wasn't like I had any pressing engagements, plus the Open Bar was very welcoming which was a nice change in the City.  I had just finished the scotch and was about to go for another, when LMNO walked in and took a seat besides me.
,ÄúHi, good to see you're here.  You wanna know what this is about then?,Äù
,ÄúIts a good place to start,Äù I replied, turning on my stool to face him.
,ÄúOK, I'm going to have to be brief but I do have some additional information written down here.  Basically, do you remember my business partner, the Shadow?,Äù
#1297
Literate Chaotic / The Last Voice
January 28, 2006, 10:44:31 PM
Mine is the last voice you will ever hear. Do not be alarmed.

The time has now come to make everything ready for you and your family in case an air attack happens. This does not mean that war is about to come, but there is a risk of it, and we must all be prepared.

A warning may come quite unexpectedly.

We will now tell you what to do if a warning sounds when you are at home, and then we will explain what to do if you are out of doors.

First, if you are at home. If attack is imminent you will hear the attack sound like this:

The Attack Warning

So take cover at once. Send your young children to the fallout room, then go quickly and turn off the gas and electricity at the mains. Close down stoves, damp down fires, shut windows and draw curtains. Then go to your fallout room and stay there.

If the fallout warning sounds are heard they will be like these:

The Fall-out WarningThe Fall-out WarningThe Fall-out Warning

You should now move yourself and your family to the safest area in your fallout room. That is you should get inside your inner refuge and stay there. After two days the danger from fallout will get less, but don't take any risks by contact with it. The longer you stay in your refuge the better it will be for you. Listen to your radio. Stay where you are and keep listening to your radio.

Now this is what you should do if you are out of doors when the warning sounds. Take cover at once when you hear the attack sound.

The Attack Warning

If you cannot reach home in ten minutes take cover in the nearest building. If there is no building nearby try to find some solid cover. If there is no solid cover, lie flat in a ditch or a hole and cover your head, face and hands as fast as you can with some of your clothes.

If you hear the fallout warning:

The Fall-out WarningThe Fall-out WarningThe Fall-out Warning

Seek the nearest and best cover as quickly as you can, but before entering the building or cover, brush or shake off any fallout dust you may have picked up, and get rid of it. Change your outer clothing if you can. Stay under cover.

When the all clear sounds, like this:

The All Clear

It means that you are safe from attack or fallout for the time being, and that you can go out again, but keep listening for further warnings, or to your radio for further advice.

If you leave your home, your local authority may take it over for homeless families. And, if you move, the authorities in the new place will not help you with food, accomodation or other essentials. You are better off in your own home. Stay there.

If anyone dies while you are kept in your fallout room, move the body to another room in the house. Label the body with name and address, and cover it as tightly as possible in polythene, paper, sheets or blankets. If, however, you've had a body in the house for more than five days *and* if it is safe to go outside, then you should bury the body for the time being in a trench or cover it with earth, and mark the spot of the burial.
#1298
Literate Chaotic / Hymn to Eris
January 24, 2006, 05:56:22 PM
How Eris' deadly spear does shake!
How the whole temple shakes! Away, away with the fearful!
It must be Strife kicking at the door with her fair foot.
Do you not see? The Delian palm nods gently,
All of a sudden; the lance sweeps beautifully in the air.
Bolts of the doors, thrust yourselves back.
Keys--open the doors! For the god is no longer far away.

So, young men, prepare yourselves for fighting and death.
Eris appears not to all, only to the worthy.
He who sees her is great; who does not is lowly.
We will see you, hard-hearted Eris, and we will never be lowly.
Let the cithara not be silent.
Nor your step noiseless with Strife approaching, you children,
If you intend to complete the vows and to ward off Horkos,
And if the wall is to stand on its aging foundations.
Well done the youths; the strings are no longer at rest.

Be silent and hear the song of Eris's glory.
Even the sea is silent, for bards celebrate
The two edged blade or spear, weapons of immortal Strife.
Neither does mother Thetis dare to lament for her Achilles
If she hears, the Lady of Sorrow walk.
Even the weeping rock forgets its griefs--
The sobbing stone forever fixed in Phrygia,
Marble where once a woman gaped sorrowfully.
Cry, "Hie, Hie" it is a poor thing to contest the blessed.
May he who fights with the blessed fight my king,
And may he who fights my king also fight with Eris.
The chorus which sings to Eris with its heart
She will honor. She has the power; even Zeus will not challenge her.
Neither will the chorus sing of Eris for only one day;
She is worthy of many hymns. The brave readily sing of Strife.

Golden is Eris' apple and yet she threw its gold away,
As are her eyes and two bladed sword and sheath of gold;
Golden is her hair, for Eris is rich in gold.
Rich in possessions; for competition brings it own reward.
Always fair, always terrible! Never does
the blood of slain touch her weapons of choice.
Her hair drips the sweat of toil to the ground,
But streaming from the locks of Eris is not fat.
But victory. In the city where these dew drops
Fall to earth all things are secure.

None is so versatile in battle as Eris.
She watches over the cunning; she watches over the bard;
Eris' are both the dagger and song.
Hers are the prophets and prophetesses; from Enyo
Soldiers learn the skill of hastening death.

We call her the goddess of apples since that time
When by the fault of Kheiron she was not invited to honour Peleus
And with burning anger did take the golden apples of the Hesperides.
With ease she did carve the words ,Äúto the Prettiest,Äù
And then rolled it into the wedding hall
Where the three goddesses fought for
Their own vanity and so bought about the,
destruction of the fairest city of Troy.

Men who take cities are followers of
Enyo, for she rejoices in the
art of war and cunning, and Eris herself lays the plans of attack.
At the start of creation Eris fought the Olympians
Acting as escort for the infernal dragon
Strife was Typhon,Äôs escort in the mellay
While the thunderbolts with booming shots reveled
like dancers in the sky, she took no side
Seeking to stop the rulership of either side
Thus did Eris find wisdom inbetween opposing forces

Eris also showed Medea how to aid Jason,
And so defeat the harvested men of Drakon,
Blessing the crested helm with death-bringing hand.
To grant them the fleece.  Eris' favour is forever valued.
Oh Eris!  Many call you Discordia,
Many Strife. Everywhere he has many a name
But I call her Enyo, as did my ancestors.
Sparta, was among your most loyal.
Scythia second, and third the towns of Thrace.
From the sacking of fairest Ilium by the Achaens
Travelled you to the strife of Thebes.  And from Thebes
the battles of Dionysos brought you to the Indian fight,
And he made you there a fine fight.  In the city
He prescribed a continuing ritual, Enyo, in which
Many bulls fall to their haunches and die.

Hie, hie, Strife, rarely invoked!  Your altars
flow in the blood of all the tyrants and defilers
who would nurture our foes and do us harm,
As well as the destroyers of good.  For you the eternal fire,
And never does the ash feed on the coals of yesterday.
Enyo rejoiced greatly when the girded men of Athens
Danced with death and slew the Persians
When the awaited war season came round.
But the Hellens were not yet able to reach
Xerxes' might.  They still lived in divided and fractured cities.
The Lady saw these herself and showed them how to fight
As she stood on the jagged hills of Thermopylae, where
Leonidas' men slew the lions of Persia, the Immortals in battle.
Eris has seen no other dance more divine,
Nor, mindful of the previous crimes, had she granted such benefits
To any people as to the doomed.  Nor have the children of freedom
Honored any god more than Strife.

"Hie hie Discordia" resounds because her people
Of Thrace first established this refrain
When with your two-edged blade you gave proof of your skill.
A fantastic beast faced you as you descended to nether pits,
A horrible beast.  You slew him with one swift blow,
One swift strike after another.  The people cried
"Hie hie Enyo! Slew the beast!" Your mother surely
Begat you as a helper, and since then you live in song.

Envy spoke secretly into the ear of Eris,
"I do not honor the singer who does not sing so great as is the sea."
Eris kicked Envy with her foot and spoke thus:
"The stream of the Assyrian river is great, but it bears
In its water much waste from the earth and much refuse.
The bees do not carry to Deo just any water
But what was pure and unsullied, a small, trickling stream
From a sacred spring, its finest product."
Hail, Lord.  Ridicule and Envy away!
#1299
Or Kill Me / Want to know a Secret?
January 21, 2006, 04:49:03 PM
It so happened that during his travels, the Sacred Flame of Tajikistan came upon a temple where the master was instructing his pupils in Kung Fu fighting techniques.  Inquiring, he asked if it was possible to join the lesson and the master agreed, seeing the possibility for another pupil.  However, as he called on them to spar, he watched with amazement and worry as the Sacred Flame defeated several of his best pupils, one after the other and without apparent effort.

Deciding he had seen enough, he called the Sacred Flame before him for a fight.  At first, he tested gently, but his attacks became stronger and more deadly as the sparring progressed, until he was throwing full blows and strikes with intent to cut down the stranger before him.  Yet even as he tried, he was unable to land his blows and was eventually struck a powerful blow to the head which left him on the ground.  Getting up, he dismissed the class.  Except for the Sacred Flame.  ,ÄúYou,Äù, he said, ,Äúare to come with me so we can have a little chat.,Äù

He agreed and followed him to a quieter part of the temple.  ,ÄúHow did you defeat us all?,Äù the master demanded harshly.  ,ÄúI am the greatest Temple Master in this region!  Never since I achieved my black sash have I been defeated!,Äù
,ÄúPerhaps I am aware of secrets you are not,,Äù he replied neutrally.
,ÄúThere is NOTHING I am not aware of!  I have mastered the Nine Crippling Strikes, the ancient techniques where I could leave you pleading for death!,Äù
,ÄúYet you couldn't land a blow on me.  Perhaps there are other secrets you are not aware of?,Äù
,ÄúThere are none!  I have mastered Qi Gong and can use the Wheel of Law to smash your body.  I know the secrets of Dim Mak, the Death Blows where you could be dead with a single touch!,Äù
,ÄúAnd still you failed to hit me.  Do you know why?,Äù
,ÄúNo,Äù, admitted the master, captivated by whatever this hidden power could be.
,ÄúPrecisely.  You know many lesser secrets that have been hidden.  You may even know of the unknown secrets that are hidden in the open.  Yet you do not know anything of the Greater Secrets.  Without that knowledge, the rest is as if it was nothing.,Äù
,ÄúTell me...please, what is the secret?,Äù
,ÄúYou are not worthy of the knowledge.  Besides, my time here is short, and I will be gone soon anyway.,Äù  With that he left.

Later that night, the Temple Master managed to track the Sacred Flame down to his current lodgings.  Opening the door, he sighed as the master came in.  His first words were ,Äúplease, teach me the Great Secret.  I will do whatever you want to prove I am worthy.,Äù
And so the master became pupil once again.  He cooked meals, cleaned clothes and aided the Sacred Flame in any way he could, carrying and fetching items for him, serving his every whim so that he could be considered worthy enough to know the Great Secret.

After a week of this, a friend of the Sacred Flame came to where he was staying.  The previous temple master was told to leave so that he could speak in private to his old friend.  Noting the look on his friend's face, he waited until the door was closed, then told him the whole story.
As he finished, his friend let out a great laugh.  ,ÄúYou old bullshitter,Äù he managed between the tears.  ,ÄúWhen are you going to tell him the truth?,Äù
,ÄúTo be honest, I don't know.  You'd think someone who knows so much would have got it by now.  Besides, he seems to be enjoying himself. Who knows what he would do if he knew the real secret was there was no secret at all, only the power that comes from not telling somebody something?,Äù