Open Bar: Funnier Than White People Practicing Voodoo

[Ben Shapiro]

Yeah. The nurse said I look like grumpy cat. I tries to laugh But It hurts. Thanks a por Obama.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

Yeah. The nurse said I look like grumpy cat. I tries to laugh But It hurts. Thanks a por Obama.

Jesus, man. Hope you are ok. 

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

CPD, Better late than never, I guess? That sounded a lot more compassionate in my head.

It's cool. My own mistake.

We all have those. Did I tell you about the guy I shouldn't have dated at all, but instead dated for eleven months and he fucked my head so badly I'm STILL recovering? Yeah. I think you might have been here for that, actually.

By contrast, I can count the number of quarrels and emotionally traumatizing moments I've had with my current boyfriend on no hands. Rest assured that there's something better out there.

This.  Drama is NOT inevitable.

Ex started talking tonight like last night's convo had never happened and we were still a thing. Wanted me to crawl in bed with him and such. I was really confused and disturbed. Brought up last night's convo anyway and it completely flummoxed him. Completely. Flummoxed.

[Ben Shapiro]

Belles Palsey CT scan Not needed.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

CPD, Better late than never, I guess? That sounded a lot more compassionate in my head.

It's cool. My own mistake.

We all have those. Did I tell you about the guy I shouldn't have dated at all, but instead dated for eleven months and he fucked my head so badly I'm STILL recovering? Yeah. I think you might have been here for that, actually.

By contrast, I can count the number of quarrels and emotionally traumatizing moments I've had with my current boyfriend on no hands. Rest assured that there's something better out there.

This.  Drama is NOT inevitable.

Ex started talking tonight like last night's convo had never happened and we were still a thing. Wanted me to crawl in bed with him and such. I was really confused and disturbed. Brought up last night's convo anyway and it completely flummoxed him. Completely. Flummoxed.

That sounds manipulative, walk. Away.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Belles Palsey CT scan Not needed.

Bell's Palsy can have many sources, and is usually temporary. Any cues about source?

[Ben Shapiro]

Anti virals given. 4-6 weeks recovery 7th nerve infected. I will have temporary paralysis on my right side. My taste buds are almost gone. I cant raise eyebrow , or smile on that side. No one knows the cause. Rare cases do people get permanet damage.

[Ben Shapiro]

Ear infection was source.

[LMNO]

Holy crap, dude.  Here's to a speedy and full recovery.

[Cainad (dec.)]

CPD, Better late than never, I guess? That sounded a lot more compassionate in my head.

It's cool. My own mistake.

We all have those. Did I tell you about the guy I shouldn't have dated at all, but instead dated for eleven months and he fucked my head so badly I'm STILL recovering? Yeah. I think you might have been here for that, actually.

By contrast, I can count the number of quarrels and emotionally traumatizing moments I've had with my current boyfriend on no hands. Rest assured that there's something better out there.

This.  Drama is NOT inevitable.

Ex started talking tonight like last night's convo had never happened and we were still a thing. Wanted me to crawl in bed with him and such. I was really confused and disturbed. Brought up last night's convo anyway and it completely flummoxed him. Completely. Flummoxed.

Ditto Nigel's statement. You're being messed with, gtfo of there as soon as you can.

[Suu]

Three goddamn viles of blood and piss in a cup later, and I can eat breakfast. This getting old shit sucks, Roger was right.

How's things?

[LMNO]

"vial"

And yes.  Wait until they put you on 7 different meds, just for the hell of it, and ask you to come in every two weeks, for "monitoring".

[Suu]

"vial"

And yes.  Wait until they put you on 7 different meds, just for the hell of it, and ask you to come in every two weeks, for "monitoring".

I like my typo better. It mirrors my mood succinctly.

But dude, it was like, "Okay,so you haven't had blood work done since such and such a date and you were younger than 25. You're over 30 now, and your family has a history of hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, anemia, Hepatitis C, and the diabeetus. Roll up your goddamn sleeve. Oh, and pee in this here cup, just in case you're pregnant."

I gotta hand it to the phlebotomist though, she was on the mark first shot and I barely felt a thing, which is why I got skeptical and looked back over as she continued to suck blood out of my arm  like a goddamn vampire and I asked why she needed so much DNA. Navy Corpsmen have no sense of humor. Well, at least at 7:30am they don't.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Anti virals given. 4-6 weeks recovery 7th nerve infected. I will have temporary paralysis on my right side. My taste buds are almost gone. I cant raise eyebrow , or smile on that side. No one knows the cause. Rare cases do people get permanet damage.

Well, hopefully you won't be one of the rare cases with permanent damage. I've known a few people who've had it, fortunately they made full recoveries.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

"vial"

And yes.  Wait until they put you on 7 different meds, just for the hell of it, and ask you to come in every two weeks, for "monitoring".

I like my typo better. It mirrors my mood succinctly.

But dude, it was like, "Okay,so you haven't had blood work done since such and such a date and you were younger than 25. You're over 30 now, and your family has a history of hypertension, heart disease, high cholesterol, anemia, Hepatitis C, and the diabeetus. Roll up your goddamn sleeve. Oh, and pee in this here cup, just in case you're pregnant."

I gotta hand it to the phlebotomist though, she was on the mark first shot and I barely felt a thing, which is why I got skeptical and looked back over as she continued to suck blood out of my arm  like a goddamn vampire and I asked why she needed so much DNA. Navy Corpsmen have no sense of humor. Well, at least at 7:30am they don't.

Wait. You're just now getting major bloodwork done? Fuck you. They've been bleeding me like a Masai cow every time I go in for the last 20 years.